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brucejedi

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  1. Upvote
    brucejedi reacted to Fermitthekrog in Help! How can i pee standing up without it spraying everywhere?   
    So im female and when I pee standing up, I pull my lips apart and expose my urethra like a woman on Quora taught me. But unfortunately when I do this, it doesn't go in a straight stream like its supposed to and just goes everywhere instead. I have to take my underwear off when I do it because otherwise I will have to change it after. This poses a problem if I want to use a urinal someday (which I do. when I move out I will buy a wall mounted urinal like the woman on Quora will do when she moves out too.) Any advice on how to make it so it doesn't spray everywhere?
  2. Upvote
    brucejedi reacted to Renatatswet in Chinese girl pees standing through the fly of her pants   
    I'm impressed. She's better than me and I still have a (small) dick.
    She talks a lot. Anyone who speaks Mandarin could give a summary of what she's saying?
    扒开裤子尿尿 [608673055_456239019].mp4
  3. Upvote
    brucejedi reacted to fullbladder in Pants for peeing standing up   
    Cool video with a busty attractive model, but maybe a girl on here wants to show us how this product works for real!
  4. Upvote
    brucejedi reacted to Renatatswet in A slow motion standing pee   
    Found on Reddit. Naked nudity without clothes warning.
    Fansly Pee Peeing Piss Pissing Pussy Lips Pussy Spread Shaved Pussy Tight Pussy Wet Pussy [farawayfeminineesok].mp4
  5. Upvote
    brucejedi reacted to NormalPeople in Brigid Pee Stands   
    While it's possible, I've never seen a girl pee standing up in public.
    A girl I exchanged photos with once sent me a video of her peeing standing up in the shower. Pee dripped down her leg.
  6. Upvote
    brucejedi reacted to Renatatswet in Girl's first attempt of peeing like a dude (as she words it herself)   
    From Reddit
    first attempt.mp4    
  7. Upvote
    brucejedi reacted to Renatatswet in Girl pees into pulled down pants from her POV   
    Video by Anna Martínez [384953025_456239017].mp4
  8. Upvote
    brucejedi reacted to Socorr0 in Lovely failed pee standing in toilet attempt by Hotwife Erika   
    I love this theme.   Gals who try to pee through the fly in their pants end up with a leaving with a beautiful wet crotch.   Perhaps the thrill of a warm wetness between their legs is as much a turn on for them as it is for guys like me.
  9. Upvote
    brucejedi reacted to Renatatswet in Lovely failed pee standing in toilet attempt by Hotwife Erika   
    Pissing while Standing in Jeans - Pornhub.com.mp4    
  10. Upvote
    brucejedi reacted to dwp in girl fails to pee standing through fly   
    I love these. I love it when a girl tries to pee standing and still gets her pants wet. Lovely.
  11. Upvote
    brucejedi reacted to Renatatswet in Two Chinese girl pee standing trough fly videos   
    失禁2 [608673055_456239018].mp4 失禁 [608673055_456239017].mp4
  12. Upvote
    brucejedi reacted to Renatatswet in QueenRami pee standing compilation   
    More Messy Standing Pee! Small Compilation of Me Peeing All Day [ph5f18679f73198].mp4    
  13. love
    brucejedi got a reaction from Ms. Tito in Pee standing through a female fly   
    For a woman (with a vulva) to pee standing through the fly of her jeans may be the “holy grail” of transgressive peeing. To do so neatly, though, seems damn near impossible. After countless searching, I have come across not a single example in video or descriptive form. Usually her jeans end up soaked.
    One commentator on another board argued that the problem lies, not with female anatomy, but with clothing design: the zipper ends way to high to allow for a clear shot. Naturally, that led me to wonder, what if the zipper were longer—like, a lot longer. Turns out, a tailor-made fly of this kind exists: https://ziphers.com (see also https://sheflyapparel.com, but the dual-zipper design does no favors here). Zip Hers is intended for squatting in the woods, but could it be re-purposed for a standing pee—into a toilet or urinal, even?
    Chime in, ladies. Have any of you ever tried this? Did it work? And if you haven’t, do you think it could, or would random spray or dribbles wet the pants regardless? My inquiring mind is dying to know.
  14. Upvote
    brucejedi reacted to Xxshutdown in Stress incontinent friends: how much do you leak?   
    As someone who is newly experiencing bouts of stress incontinence- this topic has been intriguing me. I cannot find a thread anywhere on the internet discussing how much pee one leaks during sneezing, coughing, etc. 
     
    For me:
    Coughing: This is one of the areas I tend to leak the most when it happens since it often results in more than one cough. My underwear is usually wet and sometimes will leave a little wet patch on my pants if they aren't jeans (luckily its usually small enough I can hide it)
    Sneezing: Believe it or not, this is one of the areas I don't leak as much. But when it does happen, it is usually enough to dampen my underwear, but not leave a wet patch on my pants
    Laughing: If I don't stop my laughter, this is when spurts will happen and will always leak through to my pants. The spurts usually lasts at least 5 seconds each. Luckily, I can often feel the pressure of my urethra and sadly have to stop myself from laughing to avoid peeing. Though, the next time it happens, depending on who it is with and where, I may just let it happen to see how much I will actually leak.
    Exercise: Scarcely happens because I always try to pee before I exercise since my exercise happens around others. However, I imagine it would be a spurt (I made a post on here about spurting while doing a tiktok that involves jumping)
     
    How much do you tend to leak? Did it get worse over time? Do you ever feel the pressure on your urethra?  Bonus points if you have stories you'd like to share!
     
  15. Upvote
    brucejedi reacted to Harumaru in A Urinal Dream   
    I woke up from the most wild and exciting dream. I can't remember where exactly where I was, but in my dream I was dressed up and then suddenly I had to pee. I had to pee badly but I could still hold it, I just needed to find a bathroom. Except the bathroom I find is not only far-off and private, but it was co-ed! There were toilets and urinals and stalls with different kinds of toilets and urinals.
    I didn't choose to use a toilet though, I wanted to use a urinal. 
    Now I might be a woman with the parts, but still I wish I could pee standing up. To my knowledge I can only do it in my shower, that's where I pee standing up because I'm already showering and peeing standing while the shower's on means I won't make a mess. I definitely can't piss standing anywhere else cuz I WILL make a mess, I'm just not that good at it. 
    In my dream though, for some reason that wasn't going to stop me. I found a stall with a small, perfect-sized urinal that was low enough for me to use. I was so ready to experiment, and my dream made it easy. I could take off my panties and try to position myself, like a man, but I guess I locked-up because I was trying so hard to let go and nothing...
    Next thing I know, I wake up in bed and realize it was just a damn dream, but I still had to get up and pee. Because of course... 
  16. Upvote
    brucejedi got a reaction from Noname0 in The desire to pee as a different sex, cultural expectations and gender   
    This thread gets almost to the heart of the fetish for me. See, I’ve wanted so badly TO experience having to pull my pants all the way down, being unable to control my stream or pee through small openings, and having a really difficult time mastering the simple task (from a guy’s perspective) of peeing standing up without making a giant mess. 
  17. Upvote
    brucejedi reacted to AlwaysOmo in Underrated omorashi trope in fantasy/sci fi settings   
    One thing that I love, yet rarely see, is stories about characters that, for whatever reason, did not have the ability or need to use the bathroom suddenly gaining a form that is capable of needing to pee. Like, so they'd basically be experiencing it for the first time and have to figure out their body's signals as it happens. I like how vivid the descriptions can be in these stories and seeing how long it takes for the character to figure out what the problem is as well as how to hold it. Maybe they have minimal or no bladder control, or don't figure it out in time and wet themselves as a result, seemingly out of the blue. Does anyone else love this trope as much as I do? 
    And if anyone has any recommendations for such stories or examples of it in media, feel free to mention them and/or provide links. 
  18. Upvote
    brucejedi reacted to RiversOfBliss in DL without the AB?   
    No judgement on anyone's kinks or personal preferences, but I am curious about this.
    As the title says, I like diapers, but I am not into ageplay or assuming the role of an adult baby. Most of the experiences, artwork, etc, I see online depicting adult diaper lovers overlaps with ageplay. It's rare to see someone casually wearing diapers without the infantalism aspect coexisting. Or even any sexual aspects (although omo/wetting is a sexual fetish for me, my interest in diapers is much less sexual than it is just a casual hobby I would like to explore)
    Anyone out there get this?
  19. Upvote
    brucejedi reacted to curious_cat in DL without the AB?   
    Hello yes, this is me! I like the submissive nature of wetting diapers (and just being submissive in general) and feeling 'small' in a submissive sense but I'm not into the age stuff so much (or at all, really). 
    It can feel a bit isolating to be into diapers but not age play, but we're all different and I guess that's what makes these kinds of communities interesting 🙂 
  20. Upvote
    brucejedi reacted to Renatatswet in I found out I apparently can't pee standing anymore yesterday.   
    Something quite embarrassing happened to me yesterday.
    Let me first give some background info:
    I'm an MTF trans woman. I'm in my late forties, transitioned over a decade ago, been on hormones since and had an orchiectomy about five years ago. I never had a large member and over the years of transitioning it shrunk considerably. It's quite tiny actually and I quite like that. Back when I was still presenting male it was not uncommon for me to pee against a tree somewhere if the need arose and there were no people around. Now to what happened yesterday evening...
    I went to a birthday party with friends quite a bit of a drive away. About two hours. In the south of the Netherlands. It was great fun, we had a blast. Even without me drinking any alcohol because i still had to drive. I could have stayed over to sleep, but I had things to do today, so I decided to drive back.
    Those who know me know I have a bit of an OAB, and halfway back I seriously started to need to pee. It was a bit less than an hour to go so I was thinking I'd be able to make it back home to pee. I was wrong... The last stretch of road to where I live is through a foresty area with not too many houses around and not too much traffic and I was getting frantic. I thought, ok, let's try to find a place to stop and pop a squat. I'm sitting there, shaking my legs, squirming in my seat about to lose it, when I see a little area on the side of the road where I could stop the car. But there wasn't much cover. I was wearing skinny jeans by the way, ladies skinny jeans of course. It was raining slightly and I didn't feel like popplng a squat and making my bum wet in the high grass when suddenly I thought: I used to do this all the time. Why not just do as I used to do, and pee standing next to the car?
    That's where it went wrong... I sped the car to the side of the road. Swung open my door, got out, felt myself start to dribble a little but managed to stop it squeezing my legs together, ran to the other side of the car so I'm out or the view a little and then I started to struggle. Badly.
    I pulled down my zipper, reached for my quite small member, but it was tucked, so as not to show. In skinny jeans I always tuck it between my legs so as not to show a bulge. So it took me a while reaching for it between my legs during which time I released quite a large spurt. I was trying to pull my thingy up while another much longer spurt escaped some of which flew straight up in the air. Then I tried to get it to protrude through my fly but contrary to my experience when I was still wearing men's jeans, my zipper didn't reach very far down, so I was struggling and began to uncontrollably release quite a flood in my knickers and jeans before I got it under control. I couldn't really get it to point out of my fly because it's too far up and I couldn't pull my jeans down because I was wearing a belt still losing one spurt after the other. All the time I was dancing around like a mad lady to stop peeing myself and not succeeding. I tried to undo my belt to get my jeans down and pee just started to poor out of me full force. No stopping it. At that point I just gave up and peed myself completely, down my legs, into my shoes. I was a wet mess. I was cold, I was shaking from the effort and really uncomfortable. I sat down on the doorstep? What do you call that? of my car and cried for a quarter of an hour before i got myself composed enough to drive on. I was really emotional.
    Looking back on it, it was actually quite an arousing experience, but God was I mortified when it happened!
    When I got home luckily (I think) nobody saw me. I took a shower in my jeans, got undressed under the shower, threw my clothes in the washing machine and went straight to bed afterwards.
    I thought you pervs 😉 would like to hear about this one.
     
  21. Upvote
    brucejedi reacted to Pee princess1 in Trying your peeing fantasies   
    That just sounds like peeing myself except I unzipped my fly lol
  22. Upvote
    brucejedi reacted to Renatatswet in Trying your peeing fantasies   
    Try to pee standing through the fly of your jeans like a man would. Without an stp device.
  23. Upvote
    brucejedi reacted to wetterwater in Assisted Pee Kink   
    YES! I love doing this with my partner. I wanted to do this with her for so long, because I LOVE when she holds my cock when I pee, it feels so intimate and incredibly arousing. I wanted her to feel the same.
    Mostly we've just been practicing in my backyard, because it makes such a mess... I hold her while she goes, and I can aim her stream pretty well but it still goes everywhere, makes a big splashy mess. She just gets so giddy and doesn't concentrate at all on aiming. Turns out she likes to make a big mess and it's so much fun. I clean her up afterward with a hanky or just my hands and we always end up having sex. Once we did it on the ground right next to her puddle. (After I pissed in it too, with her help of course.)
    The only time we've tried it at an actual urinal was at a park restroom. Sure enough, she went mostly all over the floor... and my hands, and our shoes, and even the wall. Puddles everywhere. She couldn't stop laughing. It was amazing and hot and so much fun. I've never felt so close to her.
    We fantasize about doing it in public sometime, in a mens room or outdoors at a concert where other people can see us. But so far we haven't been that bold.
  24. Upvote
    brucejedi reacted to Babyfxce3 in Assisted Pee Kink   
    Usually I’m pretty neutral about the trope of a girl peeing into a urinal/standing up 
    (nothing against it just isn’t my thing)
    Lately I’ve been imagining scenarios of boyfriends helping their girlfriends pee into a urinal by lifting and holding them up while she reliefs herself. The thought of that is sooo cute and sexy to me. Just like when a girlfriend holds her boyfriends dick while he pees. lol
    Does anyone share that same fantasy? Any experiences or stories? I would also love any fictions that have this scenario. Even some videos.
    🥹🥹🥹
  25. Upvote
    brucejedi reacted to bestrapperalive in Generic Hypnosis Story   
    Time for Chapter 4! Collin is back, finally. Looking ahead, I have a pretty good idea where Chapter 5 is going - we'll get into some of the backstory and nuts and bolts of this universe's version of hypnosis, as well as progressing the relationship between Claire and Collin and hopefully doing our first session of re-association training. After that... I honestly don't know. There's some obvious sexual tension that could be fulfilling to resolve, and the (at least partial) restoration of Claire's bladder control is a thread to follow. But I don't have a lot of direction outside of that, and writing for Claire gets more difficult the longer I go - they tell you to write what you know, and I don't actually know anyone like Claire. If anyone has any suggestions that might stimulate my creative process, or at least give me an idea of where people WANT the story to go, I'd be interested to hear them.
    As always, feedback/comments are welcome, including writing critique. I have some self critique that I could go into but really these prologues are self indulgent enough already. Enjoy!
     
    ***
     
    The late fall sun was already giving up on the day by the time Claire and Amanda left for Collin’s dorm. Amanda, just to make a point, was wearing the same clothes she had been wearing over the diaper, while Claire, ever fashionable, wore a pair of faded ankle cut skinny jeans, suede ankle boots and a black cardigan. Amanda had assured her that Collin would be waiting for them, but as they walked up the concrete steps to his dorm, Claire noticed her looking uneasy. 
     
    “I don’t know why he’s not answering me… He said we could come by and he’d meet us. I don’t know where his room is even if we did get into the dorm without him.” 
     
    Claire said nothing, choosing instead to smirk quietly and hope that Collin would never find his phone. But before she could make a serious case for giving up, Amanda called out triumphantly. 
     
    “Ah ha! There he is, phew,” said Amanda. “He says he’ll be down in just a minute, and sorry for keeping us waiting.” 
     
    “How nice of him,” grumbled Claire. 
     
    When Collin appeared on the other side of the door, he was just as she remembered him. Short, at least by her standards, and scraggly, wearing skinny jeans that had seen better days, and a ‘The Cure’ t-shirt that would have been rejected by the Salvation Army. He looked glum and nervous as he let them in, mumbling some sound that probably was meant as a greeting, and staring at their feet from under the black bangs that shadowed his eyes. At least, Claire thought, he hadn’t gone so far as to flat iron his hair or put on eye shadow, and so managed to present as a young adult rather than an edgy middle school boy. 
     
    When they reached his room, it became clear why Collin had been slow to answer. 
     
    “Sorry for the mess…” he apologized, clearing off the bed in a hurry.  “I didn’t… think you would actually come…” 
     
    Collin’s room wasn’t gross or smelly, but it was overwhelmingly disorganized outside of the computer area. His dirty laundry was at least contained in a hamper, but his clean clothes were piled in a way that suggested a rotation of 3 or 4 outfits, none of which ever quite made it back to the dresser. Computer peripherals and vintage stereo equipment had spread out across every surface like a fungus, many in advanced states of disassembly or reassembly. A select few items seemed to have been placed for aesthetic value; a vinyl copy of “Loveless” by My Bloody Valentine, and a large, framed, black and white poster with the words “SEE YOU SPACE COWBOY…” which stood out as the only proper wall decoration. Collin’s office chair looked to be one of the only new and expensive things in the room, another clue, if there was any doubt, as to where he spent the most time. 
     
    “You can sit down…” Collin said, gesturing hesitantly at the bed. Amanda plopped down graciously, but Claire shook her head stiffly. 
     
    “I’ll stand.” 
     
    The unlikely trio found themselves, for the second time, in a small, dusty bedroom with no one saying anything, everyone either unwilling or unsure of how to break the silence. Ultimately, it was up to Amanda, as the person who had brought them together, to take the initiative. 
     
    “So, um.. Like I said, it seems like Claire might have been… affected… by the hypnosis.” 
     
    The implications of ‘affected’ pinged off the walls, with opposite effects on the coloration of Claire and Collin’s cheeks - one, turning red in spite of herself, and the other, already pale, seeming to become even whiter. 
     
    “Right… um… How… affected, exactly?” Collin asked reluctantly.
     
    Amanda looked at Claire, who shook her head vigorously. 
     
    “Oh, uh… Let’s just say… Pretty affected,” Amanda explained, walking on eggshells. “Like… problematically so.” 
     
    Collin nodded slowly.
     
    “Right… Well… That was certainly a possibility, which is why I was reluctant to try something so potentially debilitating... It was impossible to know how… severe… the impact was going to be.” 
     
    Claire scoffed. There it was again, Collin equivocating to make hypnosis sound more grand and believable than the showy farce that she knew it was. 
     
    Amanda glanced at her reproachfully. 
     
    “The other thing, Collin, is that won’t admit that she’s hypnotized. She keeps saying it’s just a medical issue.” 
     
    “It’s not a question of ‘admitting’ anything,” Claire interjected with annoyance, “I’ve just pointed out, correctly, that it’s more likely there’s a medical explanation for my… issues… than that hypnosis is real and this random guy from a crappy Sunday night house party is the only one who knows how to do it.” 
     
    “But you never had medical issues before!” Amanda insisted. “Don’t you think it’s a little strange that the only thing that changed between you feeling totally normal and you having these accidents is that you just happened to try being hypnotized?” 
     
    Mercifully, Collin cut them off. 
     
    “Uh, I think you’re both right actually... Amanda’s right that the hypnosis could be one possible explanation, but Claire’s right that correlation doesn’t imply causation. We need to investigate more to really know what’s going on.” 
     
    Claire smirked.  Even though Collin was backing both sides, she felt that his analysis vindicated her more than it supported Amanda. 
     
    “So how do we do that, then?” Amanda prodded eagerly. “Like, how do we investigate more?”
     
    “Well…” pondered Collin. “I guess… To start with, are the… symptoms… more mental, or physical?”
     
    “Physical,” said Claire. 
     
    “Mental,” said Amanda, at exactly the same time. The girls glared at each other. Collin raised an eyebrow. 
     
    “O…k…” he said slowly. “So, there’s some disagreement on that point, which suggests that it’s probably a mixture of both.” 
     
    “She doesn’t feel when she has to go,” Amanda explained rapidly, “but she also can’t remember that she needs to go, even after a day of trying to adapt, I keep setting alarms to remind her to go to the bathroom and it’s not - “
     
    Amanda stopped talking momentarily, because Claire was making furious throat cut gestures and shushing her viciously through her teeth. 
     
    “Oh for crying out loud Claire, how are we supposed to get any help if I can’t even talk about what’s going on?” asked Amanda, exasperated.
     
    “Maybe it would help if I just asked some more… general questions,” Collin suggested, before things could get out of hand. “Would that be ok?” 
     
    Amanda nodded, Claire shrugged. Let him run through his ‘questions,’ she thought, and let me out of here. It’s not like she had to answer them, anyway.
     
    “Ok…” Collin began, in his slow, low, quiet drawl. He sounds like Eeyore, thought Claire, giggling internally.
     
    “So… I’m just going to ask you a series of questions to try to get a… personality baseline and see if there are any… underlying issues, or… any inconsistencies that might be signs of hypnotic delusion. If you’re not comfortable… with any of them you don’t have to answer. Some of these won’t seem to be related to your problem, but that’s intentional. 
     
    “Oh lord,” groaned Claire. “Hypnosis was bad enough - Now you’re trying psychoanalysis too? Should we go get me a couch to lie down on, or is that too much?” 
     
    Collin turned a little pink. 
     
    “Well, I AM a psych major… and you should probably sit down… if you’re ok with that. You can have the chair,” he added shyly. 
     
    Ah, what the hell, thought Claire. She accepted the chair with a laugh, while Collin relocated, gingerly, to the bed, taking very obvious care to keep a respectful distance from Amanda. 
     
    “She won’t bite, you know. Not until you get her clothes off,” Claire commented wickedly, making both of them blush. Poor Collin. Not a lot of social skills for someone studying humans, she thought, although the combo of psych major and aspiring hypnotist did seem fitting. 
     
    “I’m surprised, by the way,” she added. “I assumed you were Comp Sci, based on how I’ve never seen you more than 3 feet from a computer.” 
     
    “Uh… I’m both actually… double major,” Collin admitted. 
     
    Even though it played into her stereotype, Claire had to admit that she was a little impressed. Collin might be nerdy, shy, and a bit far out with this hypnosis stuff, which she found ridiculous, but he was also clearly smart and hard working, which she respected. Somewhat mollified, she nodded at him. 
     
    “Alright, let’s do it. Fire away, Freud.”  
     
    “Wait - let me get my phone out,” Amanda interrupted. “I want to record this. We might need to reference it later.”
     
    “Oh, uh… Good idea,” Collin agreed, although for a moment, he seemed caught off guard. “But let’s use my laptop instead. It’s got an HD camera and I can just set it up here and leave it so you don’t have to hold the phone.” 
     
    Without waiting for Amanda’s answer, he quickly orientated his laptop camera towards Claire, and started to record. 
     
    “Alright then... What’s your name?”
     
    “Claire Emerson.” 
     
    “Age?”
     
    “20.”
     
    “Eye color?”
     
    “Olive green,” laughed Claire. “Are we doing a psych eval or are you processing me for a driver’s license?”
     
    Collin’s eyes showed just a twinkle of a smile. 
     
    “Just starting you off with some trivial questions to see how you respond… We’ll work through some common personality disorder screening next.” 
     
    It took a while, and Collin stumbled a bit at a couple points. But after a number of very clinical sounding inquiries, it was clear to everyone that Claire was not suffering from any mania, delusions, or OCD. There were some comments from the peanut gallery about Claire’s temper, but they all agreed that she was not impulsive or self destructive or anything else that would indicate a disorder in that area. Collin’s other questions were all over the place, from “Do you consider yourself a very emotional person?” (No) to “Are you good at making people do what you want?” (Yes). Sometimes he would ask followup questions, or ask the same question in different ways.
     
    “Would you consider yourself to be particularly well organized?” 
     
    “Yes.” 
     
    “More organized than the average person?”
     
    “Absolutely.” 
     
    “Do you ever find yourself in situations that you feel unprepared for, with no idea what led up to them?”
     
    “Nope, never.” 
     
    They went on and on, and Claire had almost forgotten why they were there, until…
     
    “Ok… I do have to ask this at some point… Have you ever had any issues with bladder control in your adult life?”
     
    “...No.”
     
    “Ever waited too long to go to the bathroom, and not quite made it?”
     
    “Nope. But if we wanna get Amanda in the chair…”
     
    “No need for that…” Collin deflected, while Claire giggled. “I think I have what I need from the personality questions… This next part is a bit outside of the normal evaluation. I’m going to ask you about some specific real life scenarios, and I just want you to tell me, honestly and in detail, what you would do in each of them. These may seem a bit… trivial, but they’ll help... Are you up for that?” he asked, evidently uncertain about Claire’s level of patience. 
     
    “Sure,” Claire replied readily. She’d expected to be annoyed by now, but she’d never been psychiatrically evaluated before, and found herself enjoying the attention. She was feeling a little fidgety, but figured it was probably something to do with sitting too long in this cramped, stale room. 
     
    “Alright… I want you to imagine… You’re catching a plane the next morning, and you’re getting ready to go to bed. Walk me through some of the things you’d want to make sure about before falling asleep.”
     
    “Sure,” Claire began. “So, I want to make sure my suitcase or suitcases are all packed, except for things I absolutely need in the morning, like my outfit for the day, makeup, phone, boarding pass printed out. Make sure my phone is charging overnight. Toiletries for travel in ziplock bags and airplane sizes… Double check that I don’t have anything that can’t go on a plane... Double check that my carry-on bag fits the airline requirements. I might shower if I’m really getting up early for the flight, and I’ll have my ride to the airport sorted out with either a friend or with a rideshare.” She paused, thinking. “Also, when my family went on trips, we always tried to empty out the fridge most of the way, so there wasn’t spoiled food when we got back. And watered the plants, got someone to take care of the dogs and stuff… But that stuff wouldn’t apply to me right now, obviously.” 
     
    Collin nodded along while Claire covered every possible base, including some that she was sure Amanda had never even thought of. When she was finished, he went straight on to the next question. 
     
    “Another variation. Let’s say you’re leaving for a long car ride… What are some things you do right before you leave the house?”
     
    Claire crossed her legs, and put a hand on her chin. “Um, well, I’ll skip the stuff that I already said in the plane section that applies to any trip. So… I guess make sure there’s gas in the car, make sure I’ve checked the traffic and shared my ETA with anyone that I’m going to see… Bring some food or plan a stop along the way where I can get food. Same for coffee - especially for coffee. Make sure to…” she trailed off, a somewhat dazed look on her face.
     
    “Make sure to what?” probed Collin. Claire just shrugged. 
     
    “Is there anything else?” Collin prodded gently. “Like say it’s a really, really long drive, and you've already had some coffee.” 
     
    “Uh.. No.. I don’t think so anyway...” Claire mumbled. 
     
    Amanda, watching from the bed, was looking as though she had just heard a piece of particularly shocking gossip, and Claire didn’t know why. 
     
    Collin showed no reaction. 
     
    “One more variation. Let’s say… You’re seeing a movie in the theater. It’s a long movie, so you’re going to be there awhile. Is there anything you do before you go in and sit down?”
     
    Claire listed off a few things; buy the tickets ahead of time, get to the theater early, buy snacks and soda...
     
    “Figure out which room my movie is in. Go to the… Uh, go pick a seat. And… silence my phone, if it’s not already silenced. I guess that’s it, there really isn’t that much for this one…”
     
    “…Noted,” said Collin, when it became clear that Claire had not noticed the glaring omission in her planning. Next to him, Amanda looked positively flabbergasted. 
     
    “What about… after the movie?” asked Collin, giving Claire one last chance. “Let’s say you drank a large soda, and you’ve got a bit of a long ride home.” 
     
    Claire looked at him blankly. Her leg was tapping the floor now, and she didn’t like the feeling she was getting, the nagging suspicion that everyone else in the room knew something she didn’t. 
     
    “Uh… Um… I don’t know… Text my ride? If I didn’t come in my car or with friends? Maybe text my parents if I’m going home? I don’t know… You’re making me feel silly, but it’s just seeing a movie, it’s not rocket science…” She trailed off, looking lost. 
     
    “That’s ok…” Collin said soothingly. “There’s no right answer… I’m just getting an idea of how you plan for different situations.” 
     
    He looked at the ceiling thoughtfully. 
     
    “Alright… Almost done. I’m going to ask you a few more direct questions… Do you know what a diuretic is?”
     
    “Yes,” answered Claire snappily. “Duh.”
     
    “Just making sure… And can you name some drinks that are diuretics?”
     
    “Coffee, tea, alcohol… Maybe cranberry juice, if that one guy from ‘The Departed’ knew anything.”
     
    “I dunno, but it doesn’t matter,” Collin replied. “So, if for example, you’ve been out drinking a lot of alcohol, is there anything you might try to be… more aware of throughout the night?”
     
    “Definitely,” Claire nodded. “I always drink a lot of water if I’m drinking alcohol. People are always complaining about hangovers, but they don’t even try to hydrate, it’s ridiculous.” 
     
    Instead of lightening the mood with her mild complaining, it seemed that Claire had made things even more inexplicably dire. Amanda had her hand over her mouth now, and was looking at Claire like she had just grown a second head. Claire had absolutely no idea what was going on with her, and she was decidedly uncomfortable at this point. She uncrossed and re-crossed her legs, still tapping her foot, and looked back at Collin, searching his face for an explanation. What she saw was concerning - his poker face was mostly intact, but his eyebrows had disappeared, retreating involuntarily up into his bangs. He corrected this quickly, though.
     
    “Yea… that’s smart… Anyway, one last question. I’ve noticed that you’ve been getting really fidgety as we’ve been talking. Do you have any idea why? And… sorry, one other personal question… When was the last time you went to the bathroom?”
     
    Claire shrugged. She didn’t know, and she didn’t want to tell Collin he was making her nervous, even just as an excuse. She didn’t know when the last time she went to the bathroom was, either, but she didn’t see the relevance, and was getting tired of bathroom questions. Collin, for his part, made no attempt to drag the answers out of her.
     
    “So, did I pass?” asked Claire flippantly, once it became clear that there were no further questions. 
     
    “Uh… Well, it wasn’t a ‘pass/fail’ test, but, I do think you’re showing some… pretty strong effects from the hypnosis,” Collin mumbled apologetically. 
     
    “Can you do anything to help?” cried Amanda, like the distressed relative of a terminally ill patient. 
     
    “Hm…” Collin sat, looking pensive, for a long, pregnant moment. 
     
    “No, probably not.” He shrugged.
     
    “WHAT?” yelled Amanda, while Claire burst out laughing. The sheer anticlimax of Collin’s response was just too perfect. After all that grilling, all of those slick personality questions, he ultimately had nothing useful to say after all. He was just jumping right back into the hypnosis boat with Amanda. Well, they could sail away together for all she cared. She stood up from the chair, and walked over to the door. 
     
    “Well, there you have it Amanda, he’s just as clueless as the doctors. And he can’t fix me with more hypnosis, probably because, plot twist, hypnosis isn’t real.”
     
    “Why CAN’T you fix her with more hypnosis?” asked Amanda beseechingly, ignoring the rest of Claire’s comment. 
     
    Collin, who was still looking a bit shell shocked from Amanda’s indignant scream, tried to explain. 
     
    “I mean… it’s basically what I said before… it’s easier to hypnotize away someone’s inhibitions or abilities than to give them brand new ones.”
     
    “But this isn’t a brand new ability,” Amanda persisted. “You’re just restoring an ability she already had.” 
     
    “It doesn’t work like that…” Collin mumbled.
     
    “Why not? How DOES it work then?” It seemed like, now that Collin was no longer presenting a helpful or interesting version of hypnosis, Amanda was finally starting to demand answers, and Claire looked on with glee. 
     
    Collin took a second to compose himself, then launched into an analogy. 
     
    “So… Imagine Claire’s brain is like a house. An impossibly large and complex house, with hallways, staircases and doors connecting all the different rooms together. What I did was the equivalent of handing Claire’s subconscious a sledgehammer, and telling her ‘go tear down all the staircases that are relevant to bladder control…’ Or more accurately, ‘think of everything you can that reminds you that you have to pee, or should pee, and destroy all those triggers one by one.’” 
     
    Claire pictured a little tiny version of herself walking around her brain, covered in plaster and splinters, and she giggled. But a silly construction metaphor was not the same as a scientific explanation, and did nothing to actually sway her opinion. 
     
    Amanda seemed less sure. 
     
    “Well… Why can’t you build new staircases then? Why not just tell her brain, hey, go put those staircases you destroyed back up?”
     
    “Well, two reasons… One, Claire’s subconscious isn’t a carpenter… Building connections is a lot harder than tearing them down. And two, as the hypnotist, I’m letting Claire’s mind do all the work… I can put her in a suggestive state, give her a prompt and let her run with it... But I can’t tell her ‘go build a bunch of staircases connecting your brain and your bladder’ because that’s not a specific enough set of instructions. And she’s got no reference point to follow, unlike before, because she’s destroyed the blueprint…” 
     
    Amanda furrowed her brow. 
     
    “Hmm… I guess that kind of makes sense…”
     
    “What? No it doesn’t!”
     
    Claire was disappointed to see her friend giving in to Collin’s cheesy explanation. Loudly, and rather animatedly, she let it be known that even if the analogy SOUNDED smart, nothing Collin was saying provided any kind of actual scientific basis for hypnosis. But to her annoyance, no one listened to her. In fact, Amanda gestured at her, and her twisting, bouncing legs, and addressed Collin like she wasn’t even there. 
     
    “But if all her brain bladder staircases are destroyed… Why is she doing all this pee dancing? I’d almost never seen her pee dance in my life before this, and she’s been squirming for like 30 minutes now without doing anything about it. It’s honestly kind of disturbing.”
     
    “Well, it’s what you said…” Collin answered. “Her brain doesn’t connect the symptoms of having to pee with the realization of having to pee, and that includes the uh… pee dancing. But it seems like her body still has some residual, automatic reaction to the sensation of a full bladder that makes her fidget… She just doesn’t know what it means. At least that’s my guess,” shrugged Collin. “Who knows, really.” 
     
    “HEY! Dumb and dumber! I can hear you, you know!!” Claire interjected, red faced and properly peeved. “And I’m not PEE DANCING,” she added, straightening herself out and standing completely still. “If I’m fidgety, it’s because I’ve been trapped in this shithole dorm room for the last hour, listening to you two dweebs speculate about whether my brain is more of a three story Victorian, or just a mid century ranch.”
     
    Collin and Amanda just stared, at a loss for words, while Claire went on ranting. 
     
    “I’ve had enough! A couple accidents and you two jump to the most unlikely explanation. ‘It’s got to be the HypNoSis! There’s no other explanation!’ God, listen to yourselves. Besides, Amanda is exaggerating the whole thing anyway.” 
     
    Now that she was done with Collin’s investigation, Claire had no reason to be honest, and surged on with the blatant lie. 
     
    “I’m not TOTALLY unable to feel when I have to go. And I’ve already basically got this under control. I have one little incident, and y'all decide I’ve got a spell on me or whatever, while Amanda spends her whole life barely making it to the bathroom but that’s supposed to be normal. This whole thing is one long stupid overreaction. I’m not going to pee my pants again, and I don’t need you two brainstorming how to fix me with hypnosis, because, reality check, hypnosis isn’t real…”
     
    Claire trailed off. Her audience was not looking at her anymore, or rather, they weren’t looking at her face. They were staring, wide eyed, at her crotch: Amanda, with an expression of pity and disappointment, and Collin, with an expression of stunned embarrassment. 
     
    “Claire…” Amanda shook her head sadly. 
     
    A pit had opened up in Claire’s stomach. She could feel it now. Traitorous, rippling warmth was emanating from the intersection of her thighs, blanketing the insides of her legs and running up backwards along the contours of her perky butt. When she dared to look down, she saw her jeans rapidly darkening around the path of the relentless rivers inside them, forming an unbroken stain from origin to terminus, alongside a few shiny tributaries that snaked out from the main deluge and trickled down at their own pace. The flood poured out over her expensive shoes and onto the floor, most of it caressing her legs the whole way down, but some of it, too much to contain, breaking free at random points along her jeans and dripping down directly like the runoff of melting icicles. Claire let out a high pitched whimper of dismay, and, in a quavering voice, summed up the situation in two words.
     
    “Oh fuck…” 
     
    Her mind was spinning a million miles an hour, trying to think how this was happening, as if hoping that if she could only categorically rule out the possibility that she could be peeing her pants, it would cease to be real. But everything added up. She couldn’t think of a time that she’d gone to the bathroom since the cab ride, and she’d had plenty of water and coffee to drink since then. She’d ignored one bathroom alarm, and turned the other off in advance. What had she been expecting? In a daze, she only just noticed that something had hit her in the feet, and realized that Collin had somehow leapt off the bed and procured a towel without her noticing, then thrown it over her to mitigate the damage. Was it more embarrassing to completely flood his dorm floor with pee unabated, or more embarrassing to have him needing to jump in and intervene to prevent it? 
     
    “I’m so sorry,” she sniffled. “I’m… I’m just… I don’t…” 
     
    Collin shrugged. His face was still red with secondhand embarrassment, but otherwise, he seemed to be composing himself quite quickly.
     
    “It’s fine… just… finish… It doesn’t matter.” 
     
    It took a minute, but Claire did ‘finish.’ What else was she going to do? The towel contained things somewhat, but not completely. No one dared adjust it. 
     
    Amanda wasn’t saying anything this time. There was still a trace of pity in her eyes, but only a trace. She clearly felt that Claire, who had blown off her attempts to help, lied to discredit her, and accused her of ‘exaggerating,’ had more or less immediately got what she deserved. 
     
    With Claire paralyzed and Amanda pouting vindictively, Collin tried to take charge.
     
    “You probably could use some space…” he said, kindly.  “I can go get a garbage bag and some paper towels, and you can… clean up. There’s another towel you can use. If you want to put on some of my clothes…” Collin struggled to shoulder the audacity of such a personal suggestion, before recovering enough to follow through. “You know, to change into some dry clothes, you can use whatever fits… Or not… Or whatever…”
     
    Claire just stared into space, but Amanda reluctantly broke her silence. 
     
    “I actually happen to have a change of clothes, because… reasons,” she admitted. “If you want to go get that stuff she can put those on.” 
     
    Collin didn’t need to be told twice. He was eager to put some distance between himself and the intimate female drama playing out behind him. Perhaps, in the back of his mind, he saw a certain bitter irony in the fact that he’d finally, inadvertently, convinced a girl to get naked in his room, only for it to happen, by necessity, without him in it. If he did, though, he pushed it aside. For better or for worse, he had dragged an extremely strange situation into his orbit, and he was going to need to figure out how to get control of it. 
     
    If only it were that simple. 
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