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arg08

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  1. It seemed unlikely that Karenna/Cassie would have gone from being rude to each other to all friendly in such a short space of time, so some kind of dispute was called for; the "shut up" did seem rather abrupt, but I put that down to Karenna's judgement being impaired by her desperate need to pee, so it was actually good. Mary-Ann/Tyler feels like she hasn't really "fallen for" him yet, but the potential is there. Nothing wrong with Anna's scenes, and an interesting twist, but I do wonder how you are going to make her fit in. Will she be upset if she discovers that Mary-Ann enjoys it
  2. My reaction to this sort of question is that you should write whatever fires your imagination rather than artificially inserting scenes to suit other people - the result is likely to be of higher quality, and if it doesn't happen to match my tastes, that's my problem not yours; it will probably suit someone else instead. I find that I can enjoy a poorly-written story only if it's exactly matching my taste, but well-written stories I can enjoy over a much wider range - to an extent, the quality of the story matters more than the content. But as it happens, the current rate of omo sui
  3. Definitely. I always like those stories - the omo equivalent of the classic "coming of age" storyline that drives so many movie plots. And even Brittany has promise - while I was angry at her for the double-cross, we know she likes it so perhaps she's continuing to indulge, while keeping it oh-so-secret from her sorority peers?
  4. OK! So we still don't know Cassie's story, but enough hints to know that there's a story to be told and more insight into her character. All good stuff. Meantime Sarah is being lined up as the villain.
  5. Hmm! It was just a feeling, but now you're making me analyse it.... I think it's because she's being rude and disrespectful to the other characters (who we've already come to know and like), but without any purpose: it's not because she's engaged in some evil plot, she's not a total slacker who never does any work for anybody, she's not doing it because she's ultra-competitive, maybe she thinks she's better than Karenna but if so we've not been given any reason why she should think that way; conversely she's not resenting others for being better than her. Essentially she's just got thi
  6. I think Cassie is bordering on being annoying, but I have faith that you made her this way for a reason - that she's leading up to a "bad girl made good" storyline, or going the other way turning into a villain that we will love to hate, or some other twist I haven't thought of. She's only just appeared in the story, too early to make judgement yet. And I agree with everyone else that Karenna's situation is very well written - we feel for her in making difficult choices.
  7. Whilst I'm hugely enjoying this series and wouldn't presume to tell you how to write it, can I put in a plea for slightly more acknowledgement that they are actually enjoying it? Part 18 in particular had rather a "don't know why I'm doing this but I'm doing it anyway" feel to it - which was entirely appropriate for the early parts of Tori's tale and when new characters are being introduced, but now we have Tori and Lily who have been doing it for long enough that if they didn't really enjoy it they'd have given up, and they are talking privately so don't have to hide their enjoyment. En
  8. She has form on that - seems pretty clearly an excuse. Evidently she's more cautious with Lilly around - with Tori, she'd gradually worked up from the "unavoidable accidents" to the "better than the alternative" situations and finally reached the point of setting out with a clear plan to wet (on the shopping trip). These subtle interactions are the joy of this series - very nicely done.
  9. Good to see that their traumatic experience in the field hasn't put them off the things they enjoy. Probably a wise move skipping the timeline on a bit, but there's a slight continuity error: 5 months from start of lockdown on 20th March would take it to 20th August and they'd be on summer holidays. So I'm assuming it's more like 3.5-4 months and they are near the end of the summer term. Not that it really matters of course. I'd love to hear Rosie's reaction to finding out that Lula was actually peeing when the teacher told her off for yawning, but I'm not sure if Lula is going to
  10. Because we were too excited to get a couple of new chapters in a few days? I did think when I read the first one that you were being bold keeping the story in contemporary real time - it might have been easier to take the story off into a parallel universe where COVID never happened. But by the time I was reading the second chapter I'd forgotten and didn't notice the error (and reading it again, it could just as well have been Lula & Rosie having forgotten that school was off).
  11. Of course we understand if you don't have the time or motivation to write, but never think it's not wanted. We want more Lula!
  12. Amber is bound to ask Chloe if she made it, and there's Amber's own story to be revealed. Not to mention that dodgy zipper which is bound to cause trouble at some point... Really looking forward to how this all plays out.
  13. A really good set of stories - I missed them the first time around as they were tagged male desperation and that isn't my thing, but in fact so well written that even the male ones were worth a read. I particularly liked the little twist in the tale at the end of many of the stories - my favourite being February where we hear at the beginning of Fred's friendly offer to call in case of trouble, then at the end we learn what sort of trouble he is really hoping for.
  14. Excellent stuff. You had me going with the first couple of paragraphs - silk curtain and smell of apples? That's odd inside a car? Oh, the story's moved on to another scene - damn, I was really looking forward to how the car journey worked out. Oh, it is still the story inside the car! I do like stories like this where everybody's in the same (desperate/wet) situation, yet the each have their own way of looking at it.
  15. The fans will be anxiously waiting for the prequel, the spin-off miniseries etc. Not sure about the merchandising opportunities... Much enjoying the story so far.
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