Svetlanoff

> "It's not my bladder..."

I'm going with C.

Focus on schoolwork.

B, E, 1.

Nope, American. I took French courses during middle/high school and most of undergrad, immersion classes for the last few years. I'm not fluent but can read French well enough to understand news articles, academic writing in my field... and apparently watersports fables! No problem! Glad to hear people like it.

This was fun to translate! "The princess who pissed over haystacks" A peasant died, leaving his three sons behind. Upon returning to their house after the burial of their father, the three youths came together to plan. The dead man had not been rich and he had left his children nothing but his house and a small plot of land. After a discussion, they urged the oldest to leave the house and field to his two brothers and go out into the world to search for fortune. If he succeeded, he would return straightaway to find his two younger brothers to share his luck, but if he had not returned within one year and one day, the second brother would leave on his own journey. Having listened to this, the oldest embraced his brothers and set off. At the exit from the village, he came upon two roads. In his predicament, he threw a coin in the air and it landed face-up -- this was how he decided. He walked for a long time without encountering anything besides the inns and farms where he passed the night before continuing his journey the next day. Finally, after fifteen days of walking, he came to a magnificent castle. "Perhaps it will be here that I find fortune," he said to himself. "I'll go into the castle and ask for work." But all the jobs were taken. When he was leaving, he met the owner of the castle, who was the king of the country. At the king's request, the young man told him why he had come to this land. "I have no employment to give you in my palace; but I will propose something better. I have a daughter like no woman you have ever seen. She pisses above the highest houses. All the healers I have summoned have not been able to heal her -- a shame, because she is extremely beautiful. If you can stop her from pissing above a pile of haystacks that you build, your fortune will be made; I will give her to you in marriage. If not, you will be imprisoned with those idiotic healers and charlatans who tried before you. You understand this. See if you are able to succeed where they failed." The young man thought for a few seconds and accepted the king's proposal. The king entered the palace with the young man and, after giving him the costume of a healer, had him dine with his wife and daughter. The princess was marvelously beautiful and the peasant's eyes could not be satisfied. He was given rooms in the castle while awaiting the test. Early in the morning, the young adventurer chose a large field and had five or six hundred carloads of hay brought there. Then he took a hundred peasants and had them build an enormous pile. "If the princess succeeds in pissing over this pile of hay," he thought, "I must have lost my wits." And he went to tell the king that the pile was ready. The next morning, the princess arrived and began to laugh when she saw the pile. She lifted up her dress and pissed well over the enormous pile of hay. The young man was left dismayed. At the king's orders, he was seized and shut away in a dungeon with the healers who had tried before him. One year and one day after the oldest brother left, the second brother left on his journey and took the path that his older brother had followed one year before. After having walked fifteen days, he found the castle and went in to ask for work as a servant. The king gave him the same proposition as his older brother. He accepted. After being well-received by the princess's family, he could already see himself as the king's son-in-law, and constructed plans upon plans for their future. He chose a large plain and had six thousand carloads of hay brought out. Then he brought a thousand workers and had them build a heap. The next day, the princess came to the pile, let loose a great burst of laughter, lifted her dress, and pissed much higher than the pile. And the second brother went to join his older brother in the dungeon of the king's palace. The youngest of the family was becoming very worried at his brothers' absence. "Certainly, they must have encountered misfortune on their travels," he said to himself. "It would be wrong of me not to leave in search of them and not to help them if they are in trouble!" So he left the village for his journey. Luckily, he chose the same road as his brothers and arrived at the king's palace where his two older brothers were held prisoner. He entered the palace, met the king, and accepted the proposition. At dinner, he found the princess lovely and she found him charming. He noticed this and resolved to use this to his advantage. That night, he couldn't help but dream of the princess, and he woke early. He could then think at his leisure. "All the same," he said to himself, "if I manage to take the princess's virginity before the test, she may not piss as high. I am sure that all depends on her virginity. I will try this way." When day came, the peasant got up and went to walk in the castle's gardens. The princess had been unable to sleep all night. The face of the young man had been running through her head. She had woken at daybreak and had gone to walk in the gardens, where she encountered the peasant. The peasant did not let the chance go; he moved towards the young woman and told her that he was dying of his love for her. The princess was easily persuaded and one hour later she had lost her virginity. She returned to the palace; the peasant continued his walk until lunchtime, then returned as if nothing had happened. Then in the afternoon, he took a single carload of hay to a corner of the park and told the king that he was ready for the test. When the king arrived with his daughter and saw the young man's little stack, he cried out that the peasant was not taking the trial seriously and advised the young man to build a much higher pile. But the peasant affirmed that the pile of hay was enough and the king told his daughter to piss. What a surprise this gave the king and the princess when she could not piss past her feet, as the lovely place where the young man had entered the young woman had gone from narrow to wide. And was the peasant satisfied? The princess, without letting anyone see, was overjoyed and the king gave his daughter to the young man. The wedding day was splendid, and the three peasants became princes and lived happily ever after. [Note: I'm not a professional by any means! I may have mistranslated parts of this, and it is awkward in places. The second-to-last paragraph is especially bad; I'm unfamiliar with 1920s French sexual euphemisms and in the interests of accuracy went with the most direct translation that made any sense. Apparently losing her virginity stretched her vagina, which *totally* happens and that's *obviously* where urine exits the female body, so she couldn't produce the same strength of stream.]

This thread is great! I'd love to hear more about your intern...

Your writing here is great... excited to see where this goes.

Thirding the page 7 suggestion.

Name: Tay Height: Slightly tall (5'6-7'') Breast Size: Small Appearance (Including clothes): Athletic build, light brown skin, curly shoulder-length hair, light blue jeans/camisole/hoodie Hair colour: Black Bladder Size/Capacity: Medium, but puts it off until she's desperate Any other information?: Gets surprised/startled easily

How about Rowan? There's definitely some potential for interesting desperation situations there...

Seconding going through the residential area. Also, text Charlie to let her know she left the park.

3 sounds like a good idea. Either encourage her to get to class, or tell her we need help with homework or something

I'll go with 2 as well... Height: Slightly tall Size: Just above average Hair: Dark brown Eyes: Brown Skin: Light Age: 18 Regular clothing: Light-colored jeans or shorts, nice shirt Anything else: She hates people knowing she has to pee, and she'll try to hide it even when her desperation is obvious