clrmx

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About clrmx

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  1. love this story. sounds like yr doing pretty good for only 5 months on e! im 9 months in myself and not a single "ma'am" in sight for me. happy to see some transfemme representation on here anyways :)
  2. clrmx

    Rachel's Holiday Gift 1: Diaper Diaries

    fantastic, thank you rachel :) i only wish i spoke japanese !!
  3. clrmx

    My Reason

    WELCOME TO THE CLUB, JACK
  4. I'm in my late twenties. It probably effected me more when I was younger, and over the years it's gotten easier. I had a drug problem that started at 14 and had me in rehab at 17 because my sexuality was so goddamn confusing and heavy. Luckily I didn't die or complete fuck myself up, but it was not easy from the get-go. To me, my sexuality is something that is very personal -- sex to me is also very personal. So it's no one's business but the people I choose to share it with. That being said, everyone is different. I feel lucky that my fantasies don't have the grip on me they did when I was younger, but that's something that has diminished slowly over the years, and its not like I'm that old anyways. I don't have it as a part of everyday life. I don't wear anymore too often. Usually just look at some porn every other night, "enjoy" myself, and call it a night. As for sexual partners, I need to trust and feel comfortable w someone before sharing it with them. My last serious relationship it never came up because she had her own hangups about sex and I didn't need to complicate things, but my two previous partners I shared it with and we had a great time with it. There was another partner when I was younger I shared it with and I think at the time it was too new and exciting of a thing to be sharing with someone and it caused some problems. I have a good friend I talk to all the time (we now live two states away but used to hang out a lot), and as we share an ex-bf we know about each others shared fetish (and are friends on fetlife), but we literally never discuss it. MOST IMPORTANTLY ****** my therapist knows about it. Get a therapist, period. You will thank yourself. And don't settle for one that you don't feel you can talk to. Not sure what your medical coverage is where you live but there are always different kinds of options for counselors, etc. Find a professional you can confide in and spill the goddamn beans. You will thank yourself. I would check out this post I just came across on fetlife yesterday: https://fetlife.com/users/1016431/posts/3279832 The headline is deceiving because its not about "curing" yourself, its about accepting. Let me just say this: if you're worried about partners being open to it, don't. If you are romantically involved with open-minded, caring people who love you, you will be fine. That doesn't mean they will participate in it in the exact way you want (or at all), it doesn't mean they will play into whatever fantasy you have, but they will care about you and be there for you no matter what, and at the end of the day that is what's going to make the difference. That being said, getting involved with people who are specifically more open minded sexually is always something to consider if you want to explore your fetish--and I DO recommend exploring it. The more you keep it in your head, in your closet, and in your bedroom, the larger it will loom in your mind. The more power you give it, the less power you have over it. Your secrets make you sicker, etc, etc, etc. Kind of scattered here. Always happy to chat or PM (that goes for the OP or anyone else who wants to talk about the emotional impact of this shit). -J
  5. clrmx

    Waiste Band Pictures?

    Yep, definitely a leak. I thought posting a combo slight waistband+leak would be nice, but I realize the picture quality sucks. I'll try better next time!~
  6. I don't know about embarrassing, but I had a sort of a funny experience once -- was buying some at CVS that have a built-in handle in the package (think they were depends max) and the cashier was like, "you want another bag for these", and I was like, "no, it's ok" (because my car was parked right outside). And she was like, "yeah, me too, I don't bother to cover mine up either, who cares?"
  7. clrmx

    Waiste Band Pictures?

    Woke up at 4am and took these: (*blushing*) This has been SUCH a great post that I had to contribute myself. I've never posted pictures of myself before (ANYWHERE) so this is a testament to how wonderful you wonderful people are!