Guyandee

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About Guyandee

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  1. Guyandee

    Royal Wedding! And Toilets!

    For reasons that probably won’t interest others I’d love to ask you more about this subject.
  2. Guyandee

    Royal Wedding! And Toilets!

    But imagine the scenes if he misjudged the situation and couldn’t hold it? Unlikely in the extreme, I know but I wonder if the press would report something like that or would royal protocol ensure that we never found out?
  3. Many years ago I remember my mum making tea or coffee for some policemen. Right opposite our house there was an alleyway and one day someone got attacked down there. It was quite serious and the place was swarming with police for ages and they put up tape to stop people walking past. My mum took them out trays of hot drinks and I was only a young teenager at the time but I remember that one of the police officers came over and asked my mum if he could use our toilet. He actually took his shoes off at the front door which probably wouldn't happen nowadays and he also left his police helmet on the table in the hall so being the inquisitive teenager and went and had a look inside it. There were straps so that it could rest on his head! Anyway, a while later I heard some more noise in the hall and when I went out there were three policeman standing waiting outside our downstairs toilet. Two of them were chatting quite calmly but the other one was quite noticeably bobbing up and down and gently scissoring his legs back and forth. Suddenly, one of them called my mum and the next thing I knew was that the one who had been jigging around was being ushered upstairs by my mum, going in front of her and she followed right behind him. He was quite young, around mid-twenties I should imagine, and he was in his socks too. I never knew any visitors who used our bathroom upstairs rather than the downstairs toilet, even visiting family members, but this young policeman was up there ages. Eventually the others who had used the downstairs loo were back outside waiting by their van and my mum had gone up and down the stairs a few times whilst she also took the young officer's shoes upstairs to him, which I've never managed to fathom out why. There was a lot of too-ing and fro-ing and the conversation exchanges seemed quite serious but finally this policeman came back down the stairs and went straight out to the van and they all went, never to be seen again. When my dad got home from work, the moment he stepped in the door my mum took him upstairs and I remember going halfway up the staircase to see what was going on and he and my mum were standing outside the bathroom door, which was open and they were looking and pointing and talking for some time. It was as if she was telling him what had happened. Later that evening, my mum did some washing which was unusual because we had a lady who actually used to come in and clean the house and she always did the washing during the day so it was rare to hear the washing machine going in the evenings. Whether she was washing clothes or the bathroom mats or whether it was entirely unrelated, I don't have any idea unfortunately but it was a very strange incident and both my parents seemed very engaged in spending time in the bathroom dealing with something that evening. I didn't really think too much about it at the time but when I look back now I do wonder what happened. Did the ones who were queuing for the downstairs toilet call my mum to ask her to assist the one who went upstairs? Why did she go with him, walking behind him? Why was he up there so long? And why did she take his shoes up to him? When my dad came home, why did my mum whisk him upstairs to look at the bathroom so quickly? And what did she wash that night? I'll never know, of course, but it's open to guessing I suppose. Perhaps he did something in his pants whilst he was waiting downstairs? Or started to? Or maybe he was having some sort of accident whilst going up the stairs? Possibly he didn't quite reach the bathroom in time and maybe wet the carpet? I suppose he might have even had a major accident in his trousers before he could make the actual toilet? Could my mum have taken his shoes up to him so that he could remove his socks? Were they what she washed that night? Highly unlikely I'd have thought, unless she was washing his pants and even trousers too? Was my dad up there in the bathroom cleaning something up? Who knows? It's a long, long time ago now. But I guess my mum might have regretted letting the police officers in that day?
  4. Guyandee

    Desperate tyre fitter sighting

    My first post here. I've never been fortunate enough or unfortunate enough, however it should be described, to see someone actually wet themselves by accident. But this post reminded me of something I heard about 10 years ago. I was working in a solicitor's office in London and there was a female secretary who came out for a drink with us after work one evening and told us quite openly that her boyfriend/husband-to-be worked for Kwik Fit as a mobile tyre-fitter and that he had wet himself in his van when he got held up in traffic coming home from work a few days earlier. Everyone was asking why he didn't use someone's toilet but she said it was frowned on by his company and he often arrived home bursting to go, but he had never had an accident before and she was actually quite shocked that he had done it. She said he was really embarrassed. A few months later, he came out with us all on another evening and of course he didn't know that we knew that he'd wet himself but I was longing to ask him, simply because it's the only genuine accident I've ever heard of.