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female The Phone Booth


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1 hour ago, satyr said:

I can’t hold it much longer,” Emma said, and to Katrine’s surprise, her friend’s eyes were moist. “I really can’t. I gotta let it out.”

Don’t piss on the floor!” Emma said.

I guess I could sort of hover out the door,” Emma said. “Then I’d technically be inside the booth, but the piss would go outside.”

You've got three lines in a row here all attributed to Emma, which I'm 99% sure is not what you were going for.

1 hour ago, satyr said:

She noted that the droplets she could see were colorless and hoped there wouldn’t be too much of a smell when her overalls dried—she must have been dehydrated. Probably the alcohol working.

Not entirely sure what you were going for here, but colorless is the opposite of dehyrdated.

1 hour ago, satyr said:

thinking of the way Emma had been looking at her

You've got the wrong girl there, chief.

Otherwise, definitely top-quality stuff here. Hell, I just happened to be glancing at the fiction section and came right here, thinking: "Oh, a new satyr fic, this is gonna be good."

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17 minutes ago, Sake said:

Not entirely sure what you were going for here, but colorless is the opposite of dehyrdated.

Well, yes and no. If you drink a lot of diuretic beverages, at some point you will have diluted pee (due to all the fluid intake) but also not retain enough water due to ramping up urine production (leading to dehydration). Ever had a long, clear piss at the end of a night of drinking, but you're still thirsty? At least that was my thinking process. But I can see that it doesn't make much sense in context.

I noticed while writing this that I kept mixing up the two characters with the four-letter names, but I thought I caught every instance.

Thanks for the feedback and the kind words. I'll definitely make some minor edits to fix the things you brought up!

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45 minutes ago, satyr said:

Well, yes and no. If you drink a lot of diuretic beverages, at some point you will have diluted pee (due to all the fluid intake) but also not retain enough water due to ramping up urine production (leading to dehydration). Ever had a long, clear piss at the end of a night of drinking, but you're still thirsty? At least that was my thinking process. But I can see that it doesn't make much sense in context.

Yeah, it makes sense when it's elaborated on, but it's just worded in a way that doesn't really get that across very well.

But, I can't really come up with a better way to phrase it succinctly so, y'know, whatever.

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