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How did you learn about sex?


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When I ask this, I don't mean your fetish, but like. Sex itself. I had sex education but it was abstinence only, so my education largely came from the internet. Not porn, but articles from health sites and YouTube videos - Lacey Green was one I watched pretty religiously.

As I finish up my degree, I've taken up researching sexual development, including sex education. But this isn't for research purposes. I'm just genuinely curious about how people in this community learned.

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3 hours ago, Imouto Kitten said:

2. Being more tech savvy than both my parents combined and a pubescent/adolescent boy crushing on cute girls from anime, I learned much of the slang and kinky side of things when internet searches for swimsuit and pantyshot images of cute anime girls lead to my discovery of hentai art and lemon fanfiction. Coupled with things like Pokemon, Digimon, Cardcaptor Sakura, and Sailor Moon being among my favorite anime at the time, I was desensitized to a number of sexual taboos before I even learned they were taboo(loli, shota, incest, yaoi, yuri, and furry to list a few).

You know, when I posted this topic I didn't really even think of my own experiences with fanfiction/fan art. Although, by the time I was learning about sex/sexuality I was watching Glee. But I think that might have been a good thing since the show depicted more than just straight people. It's really a valid way to learn depending on the types of fiction/art you're consuming. I feel like I was exposed to a lot of positive, loving relationships in the process. But that could have just been my personal experience.

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I grew up with parents who were fairly socially conservative and in a small town that was fairly religious.  Anything related to sex, sexuality, or nudity, was extremely taboo.  Any time any subject even remotely related came up the discussion was quickly shut down, and any attempt at asking questions would be met with punishment.

I was in 5th grade before I had any idea that girls' bathrooms were configured differently and that women didn't pee standing up just like boys do.  It wasn't until around a year after that in which I ascertained that boys and girls had different genitalia.  I still had no idea what girls had in that regard, but I had figured out through my friend's stepdad's dirty jokes that there was a difference.  I had also figured out around this time that babies came out of whatever kind of setup girls had going on, but having no clue what that was I only imagined that girls had some sort of single hole that they both peed out of and delivered babies through, and that this hole was somewhere below their belly button.  One hypothesis I had around this time was that girls didn't have anything and everything happened through their buttholes.

It wasn't until 7th grade science class that we had any kind of comprehensive sex education.  At this stage that education was focussed mainly on human growth and development.  Boys and girls were split up into separate classrooms for this and we learned about puberty and what kind of physical changes were involved for both sexes.  It wasn't until 8th grade that we had actual sex-ed and learned how sex actually worked. 

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We had a pretty good sex ed at my school that, although it preached abstinence, was good about teaching sex in a pretty PC way. However, most of my education came from my parents. 

I grew up in a very open house where no conversation was off limits so even by elementary school I was aware of how sex worked, and by the time I had feelings I knew what everything was and why I was feeling the way i was. To be fair, my mom was a labor and delivery nurse and is now a midwife, so this is literally what she deals with everyday, but yeah I got the sec talk in a very educational in depth way from an early age, which I think was really good. 

My family is still super relaxed, and my parents will openly talk about sex at the dinner table. A lot of people would think that's totally gross, but I have no issue with it. It's just become totally normal to me. 

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The sex ed at my school was very lackluster.  And it being only about guys of course didn't help, and that left me very confused about girls.  In a similar context to what TVGuy was mentioning, I only knew that girls had an opening for peeing somewhere down there, but no idea where it was exactly or what it looked like, how they peed exactly (sitting down, yeah, but... how?), if they could even create a nice stream at all (because lack of equipment there) or splatter pee in random directions when going, things like that...  Not to mention zero information about the whole birth thing.  I asked my mom once about how girls pee, and she laughed at me.  Yes.... she laughed. 😞  Haha...  Anyway, I had lots of curiosity, and eventually a desire to try and seek out answers...

I grew up in a somewhat religious household.  So for me, any education came mainly from reading books and studying the pictures inside them at the local library (my folks would take me to the library a lot)... At some point in my youth, there was this point where I felt mature enough / bold enough to wander into the more adult areas of the library, and I became very fascinated reading books about human development, gender differences, the reproductive system, etc.  My mom was mostly ok with me reading such topics and was of the mindset "if you want to know something, then take the time to read and learn".  I had to like reading because early 90's Internet... yeah... incredibly slow.  

In my mid-late teens, the Internet boom was happening and I had 2 big interests with it:  (1) visiting fansites about my favorite shows (Sailor Moon at the time), and (2) thanks to having a pee kink I stumbled across Shara & Ger's site, Wetset, Patches' Place and became fascinated reading stories and browsing the pictures there.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I grew up in an Italian-American family, and social bathing with familial peers of a similar age was just something we did, regardless of the gender. I bathed with my cousins, male and female, until about the age of 7 or 8, when the cousins become too numerous and too big while the bathtub remained the same size. I suppose for our parents, it was simply a matter of saving time and water bathing us. The more Italian-Americans I mention co-ed bathing to, the more I find that this seems to be a pretty common thing.

But because of this, I always had an understanding that the space between a man's and woman's legs were physically different. I never really ever thought of it in a sexual way until about puberty, when most kids start thinking of that stuff I suppose. I remember I started thinking of girls as "pretty" around 12, and kinda tripped over my own tongue telling the girl I had a crush on she was pretty.

Our sex ed in school was pretty comprehensive, which kinda made the whole parental birds and bees talk obsolete. Rather than birds and bees, my parents gave me a very strict lesson in consent. In grades 4 through 6, I recall the school counselors separating us first the first two years where we learned about puberty and the effects thereof. In grade 6 the boys and the girls came together, and we watched a video that clinically explained the mechanics of intercourse and the results thereof. Fortunately, we didn't see the dreaded birthing video until my high school freshman year health class.

Edited by I_C_U_P (see edit history)
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To be honest i didnt really learn until high school, I thought body parts were gross as a kid and didnt want the details of sex, i had health class but basically taught me “boys have a penis, girls have a vagina, boys have sperm, girls have eggs” then “girls can get pregnant” but wasnt told how it happens, it wasnt until my first year of high school that I finally learned what sex was and did more research myself

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As a kid, I would often spend all day at the library. (Still do sometimes). Then one day in 4th grade I was in the human body section and I noticed a book that looked interesting. Turns out, it was a sex-ed book. For weeks afterward I would go back and look at that book, fascinated by what I had seen.

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Trial and error basically, is how I really learned about sex. That and lots of reading  about human sexuality. 

When I was a young kid there wasn't anything like the internet (*ssh..grandpa is talking !) so everything you wanted to know came either from your parents - that didn't happen, or you'd learn about at school,which also did not happen..

Reason for this is that I grew up in a very strict religious environment, and in those circles 'sex' is a dirty word and quite 'taboo' even. It isn't discussed, at all. So no tv-programs for me to watch about this fine subject, no radio-shows, no magazines-nothing. Even the mentioning of anything sexual-related was highly frowned upon .

This censoring of such a basic need in life offcourse does not work - as soon I got out in the world I explored  life  in all it's beauty and ugliness . The same goes for sex, once it's forbidden human beings tend to even want more of it..

And that turned out for the better - once it was forbidden to me, it made the search for it even more exciting than sex on itself allready is.

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On 4/5/2019 at 12:33 PM, wannawatch said:

Trial and error basically, is how I really learned about sex. That and lots of reading  about human sexuality. 

When I was a young kid there wasn't anything like the internet (*ssh..grandpa is talking !) so everything you wanted to know came either from your parents - that didn't happen, or you'd learn about at school,which also did not happen..

Reason for this is that I grew up in a very strict religious environment, and in those circles 'sex' is a dirty word and quite 'taboo' even. It isn't discussed, at all. So no tv-programs for me to watch about this fine subject, no radio-shows, no magazines-nothing. Even the mentioning of anything sexual-related was highly frowned upon .

This censoring of such a basic need in life offcourse does not work - as soon I got out in the world I explored  life  in all it's beauty and ugliness . The same goes for sex, once it's forbidden human beings tend to even want more of it..

And that turned out for the better - once it was forbidden to me, it made the search for it even more exciting than sex on itself allready is.

I'm actually super glad you shared this! Pretty much everyone I've ever breached this topic with grew up with some semblance of the internet (I'm just now starting to be old enough to have friends more than two or three years older than me) and has fairly similar experiences.

And that's actually a very interesting way to look at it. I wonder how others who grew up without the internet feel in that aspect.

On 4/5/2019 at 8:00 AM, wannawatch said:

These comments went from 'totally relatable ', 'insightfull..'to 'ridiculously hilarious'  s o  f a s t ...LOL

How i just love this forum ! 😄

I was just about to say this! I feel like I always get a good laugh while browsing these forums.

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