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How desperate do you get before you tell someone else?


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If you were ever in a position where access to a toilet could only be gained by telling someone you had to go or asking permission how long would you hold, how desperate would you get, before you found the courage to say? 

I’m very pee shy and easily embarrassed soi’d have to be about to have an accident before I think I could ask or say. 

Thinking in a stranger’s house, having to ask a teacher, in the car when someone else is driving, in a long meeting or such like. 

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I don’t particularly mind telling someone or even asking them if I can go, as long as there’s little chance of then not being able to go, and them then knowing how badly I have to go for however long it takes to get to somewhere where I can go (if that makes sense!). That’s what makes me uneasy, someone else knowing that I need to go but can’t. I’ve never understood why - perhaps because of how awkward or even guilty I feel if I’m with someone else who clearly needs to go but can’t!

I suppose, whether it’s at work or on a long car journey, it’s more likely to be a case of having to make the most of an opportunity when it presents itself rather than waiting until a certain level of desperation is achieved, although I very much like the idea of there being no such opportunities by the time the situation is critical 🙂

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Let's see, at school, I typically only asked if i knew I wouldnt be able to hold it until the end of the period.

At work, I wait until break or until I have a bit of time when I'm working alone to sneak off. Or If we're on our way to a New task and my co-workers stop by the bathroom, then I'll go. But I never ask or announce my need.

In the car, with my mother and sister I don't usually have this problem as I can hold it for much longer than they can. With other people, I'll try and wait and hope they need to go soon. I only ask for a stop if I feel like I'm in real danger of an accident. 

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If I'm in public (or with someone) and desperate to go, I just say BRB I really need to pee...  It's kinda that simple.  I generally don't "gauge" the person, or think about if that's going to tick them off, if the setting is right, etc.  ...At least, not anymore.  Years ago, I used to be extremely shy about asking for the restroom, to the point of holding it through pain.  But that was not at all fun for me personally.  So these days, yeah, if I have to ask then of course I ask.

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If it's with someone not into omo,I'd wait until I was mildly uncomfortable and realizing there no planned breaks or stops. I have no qualms voicing my need to urinate. 

 

If it was with someone into omo, I'd wait longer. Maybe to the point of getting desperate. Just for the mixed pleasure. Yes, that would include situations like road trips and hikes, as I don't have any issues peeing near others. Especially if that person was into it. 

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I'm absolutely shy about it to strangers. But I'm casual about it to my family member.

I have felt the need to pee at long bus/car trips before and I usually would just hold it until we got a break. The worst one was this one trip at middle school. No breaks so I had to hold for four long hours. I had to not think about it since thinking about it makes the need much worse and I kept checking whether I had leaked or not.

Miraculously, I stayed perfectly dry.

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Now I will announce my need about the same time I would normally go ,or slightly longer, except if it would be an issue to stop what we are doing.

Back in my younger years, I would do anything to avoid asking to go. A few times as a kid up to age 12 or so, I actually   danced and held myself ( as if that was not a dead giveaway) until I wet my underwear.

Later, in my late teens through my twenties , I could not pee in the presence of others ( like in a public restroom)  I developed an iron bladder and a strong will to keep putting it off. I held my pee even though I was in agony from a seriously over distended bladder, and intense pressure in my penis, like the head was about to blow off. The pain and pressure was so intense  I would not have felt it coming out just my underwear getting wet . So, in short I wouldn't say anything , I would just keep holding, not fun at the time. I suppose if I did start to wet myself I would have had to speak up but this never happened in front of people.

 Once alone, I think a time or two a drop or two may have leaked out but nothing noticeable.

There was one time, Earth Day 1970, I was 18, when I  was over a friend's home. I was desperate for several hours. I glanced longingly at the toilet while passing the bathroom but did not say anything..

A while later I boarded a bus for the thirty  minute ride and an equal walk home. We had not traveled far when I began to regret not peeing when I had the chance. Suddenly my pee felt like it was going to come out Oh no an 18 year old can not wet his pants. Fortunately I had a light spring jacket that I draped over my lap to hide the fact that I was holding myself. I had not done that in years. 

I made it through the bus ride ok,but on the walk home I did leak some , and since I was wearing tight pants, it soaked through, causing a softball size wet spot. I covered it with my long shirt. The good news I no longer had to hold myself like a child, but I had to get in the house without anybody noticing my wet pants. Fortunately my shirt covered it since it was just in front down to my crotch.  

I remember I was driving on long road trip with my then wife and being in unbearable pain.  I told her I wanted to relieve some pressure.She said if you want to wet your pants, it's up to you. I tried to let some out but could not.

 

 

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Oh this is a good one, and something I've really not pondered for a long time. Being diapered pretty much 24/7 I don't often have to worry about finding a restroom while out in public. If I'm going to be away from home for several hours I can add a stuffer to my diaper in order to increase the capacity. 

Now let's say that I've been out for several hours... eventually I'm going to have to change. I know my diapers pretty well, but unintended leaks while in public are terrible. I can push right up to the limit, but then I'm going to have to ask someone to stop at a place with actual bathrooms for a few minutes. I could change in the car, but it's not a very comfortable thing to have to do. 

If you think asking for a pee break is embarrassing, consider telling someone you may not be all that close with that you need 5 minutes of privacy so you can change your DIAPER. 

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It really depends of the situation. I usually avoid asking right away, unless is really an emergency, when I just arrived to someone's house or when I already used the bathroom not long ago, but have to use it again. In those cases, I usually wait until I almost can't hold it any more and have to go or I'll have an accident. Of course, at that point it's better to ask than pee yourself. The same is when I'm in the car with someone and I already stopped not long ago to pee. 

A coupe of times in the past this tactic backfired, because someone made me laugh or something scared me when I was already really desperate and I lost it. That was embarrassing, because I could use the bathroom, but I didn't.

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Hate the idea that anyone knows that I need to pee, hate the idea of peeing in the open air and although have no issue about peeing at urinals with strangers or my Partner anyone else I know is just not an option

like others, I definetely learnt to hold for a long time at a young age by not  saying that I needed to wee, remember a 200 mile journey with my parents when I was 18 for most of which I was increasingly desperate to the point of being in agony, but still didn’t ask to stop, can sti remember how long it too to piss when we arrived! I think my first recollection that my bladder might be bigger than average!!!

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20 hours ago, homeanddry said:

I don’t particularly mind telling someone or even asking them if I can go, as long as there’s little chance of then not being able to go, and them then knowing how badly I have to go for however long it takes to get to somewhere where I can go (if that makes sense!). That’s what makes me uneasy, someone else knowing that I need to go but can’t. I’ve never understood why - perhaps because of how awkward or even guilty I feel if I’m with someone else who clearly needs to go but can’t!

I suppose, whether it’s at work or on a long car journey, it’s more likely to be a case of having to make the most of an opportunity when it presents itself rather than waiting until a certain level of desperation is achieved, although I very much like the idea of there being no such opportunities by the time the situation is critical 🙂

For me it's a similar situation, if I know that there is little chance of me not being able to go, I'll ask, however if I know I'll be denied or that there's no convenient way for me to go, I won't ask.

 

I don't mind asking in a stranger's house, because they'll usually say yes. I wouldn't ask during a class or in the car, cause it's usually an inconvenience for the teacher or driver. In school or in cars I'd usually wait for a break or a stop.

 

However if I've miscalculated, and I ask, but I'm denied, I usually feel super awkward.

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On car rides and such I can usually hold the longest, so I just wait for someone else to voice their need. Or if I'm out in public I'll wait until they have to go. At work/school I never have any problems holding until I get home- I never drink much when I'm out.

 

I'm super anxious about it though when I'm over at a friend's house. I hate admitting I have to pee so I'll wait until dinner and go to the bathroom before I wash my hands to eat. Or if I'm sleeping over I wait until it's time to change into night clothes and go when I have the bathroom then. I've never been able to just ask for the bathroom for the sole sake of peeing and I would have to be extremely desperate to do so. To be honest, I might actually end up just wetting myself at that point ruather than ask, as silly as it seems. I'm not sure.

Edited by flomorashi
Autocorrect (see edit history)
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I have never been shy about admitting my need to anyone and sometimes find it a turn on when people know how badly I have to pee. I guess in terms of how long it takes for me to say would depend on the situation. If I am around people I know then probably when I first started to really feel the need as I don't care if they know. With strangers it would really depend on the situation. If I wanted to have the fun of somebody knowing it might be quite soon when I was really needing to pee. In other situations it might be only when I am really desperate and need to ask. Either way I don't have any issue with people knowing or not having the confidence to say out loud.

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I will wait until someone else asked for a bathroom break in case of car ride and group activities, etc.

When I was in high school, once I was about to wet myself at the beginning of a class and I really did not think I can make it to the break time. I still tried my best to hold and did it. I peed about 3 min in the bathroom then. Since then, I don't think I need to ask for a bathroom break in any case.

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I will often be too shy to ask until I am leaking. On road trips, I am always padded because I know that I won't do well between rest stops. The padding ensures that I can stay dry even if I leak. Sometimes I think I leak from the anxiety of knowing that a restroom is another 70 miles away.

With my OAB, I will have to ask more often. Sometimes I go from 0 to 60 in less than ten minutes, and if I am only wearing a pad and not a pull-up, I've had severe leaks that have wet my seat.

I was actually doing better for a while and was able to get by with just a pad, but after a few more serious soakings, I'm back to pull-ups again.

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15 hours ago, hoimi said:

I will often be too shy to ask until I am leaking. On road trips, I am always padded because I know that I won't do well between rest stops. The padding ensures that I can stay dry even if I leak. Sometimes I think I leak from the anxiety of knowing that a restroom is another 70 miles away.

With my OAB, I will have to ask more often. Sometimes I go from 0 to 60 in less than ten minutes, and if I am only wearing a pad and not a pull-up, I've had severe leaks that have wet my seat.

I was actually doing better for a while and was able to get by with just a pad, but after a few more serious soakings, I'm back to pull-ups again.

I know the feeling. Knowing that restroom is not anywhere near where you're, makes you even more nervous and desperate.

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