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Teen Girl short pee desperation story


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  • 2 weeks later...

It’s okay. The lack of a name for the protagonist puts me off, something so simple and minor is surprisingly important, and the story was basically none existent. There was little backstory for why the character had to go and it didn’t spend long enough on her desperation for me. The text is too big too, and it’s not long enough for my liking. But I’m unusual in that aspect, I “long” stories with characters and names where omo takes a backseat for significant sections of the story.

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5 hours ago, RagingPython said:

It’s okay. The lack of a name for the protagonist puts me off, something so simple and minor is surprisingly important, and the story was basically none existent. There was little backstory for why the character had to go and it didn’t spend long enough on her desperation for me. The text is too big too, and it’s not long enough for my liking. But I’m unusual in that aspect, I “long” stories with characters and names where omo takes a backseat for significant sections of the story.

Way to encourage a new member to post again! It's really daunting joining a site like this, and to actually bit the bullet and post, rather than just being a lurker, takes bottle. It is also clear that English is not their first language. Is it perfect, no, but for a first post, I, for one, am keen to see more. Ripping it apart can do nothing but put them off posting again. Jeez, if you've got nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all. There is plenty on this forum that does nothing for me, but I don't comment all of it telling people that!

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3 minutes ago, pguy69 said:

Way to encourage a new member to post again! It's really daunting joining a site like this, and to actually bit the bullet and post, rather than just being a lurker, takes bottle. It is also clear that English is not their first language. Is it perfect, no, but for a first post, I, for one, am keen to see more. Ripping it apart can do nothing but put them off posting again. Jeez, if you've got nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all. There is plenty on this forum that does nothing for me, but I don't comment all of it telling people that!

This sort of attitude is what makes it harder for artists and writers to improve.

Nobody's going to be perfect, and if you're going to put something out you'd damn well better expect people to point out how it's not perfect, and you'd also damn well better listen when people tell you what you can improve.

There's nothing wrong with respectful criticism, and the thing to which you responded is very good, very respectful, and very valid criticism. To discourage criticism is to discourage improvement. Nobody will know how to improve if nobody tells them what they're doing wrong.

And, honestly, if you ask me, if someone can't take criticism, they shouldn't be posting art in the first place. Any artist knows that what they're posting isn't perfect, that people will have problems with it, and that they will point out those problems; in fact, if they have any intention of being a real artist, that's exactly what they want. To reject that is to reject the single best means to improve one's skills. And, sure, there is a bad way to criticize, but that's not it. Bad criticism is saying "this sucks" without any elaboration or any explanation on how to make it not suck. Bad criticism is also refusing to give criticism in the first place because pointing out issues isn't nice. Of course it's not nice. But being nice doesn't help. "Is it perfect, no" doesn't help anyone because you haven't explained why it isn't perfect and how it could be closer to perfect.

If the artist doesn't like the criticism, that's one thing. It's an entirely different thing when people flat out don't give criticism and actively discourage others from doing so. That is the biggest obstacle to improvement, that nobody wants anyone to point out what's wrong with something. Point out the problems, artist acknowledges and fixes the problems, artist improves. That's how it works.

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4 hours ago, pguy69 said:

Way to encourage a new member to post again! It's really daunting joining a site like this, and to actually bit the bullet and post, rather than just being a lurker, takes bottle. It is also clear that English is not their first language. Is it perfect, no, but for a first post, I, for one, am keen to see more. Ripping it apart can do nothing but put them off posting again. Jeez, if you've got nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all. There is plenty on this forum that does nothing for me, but I don't comment all of it telling people that!

I gave advice to them in addition. I didn’t notice English wasn’t their first language at all to be honest. Ripping it apart can do more than just put them off posting. I personally wish people would make comments like mine on my fan fiction so I know how to improve. The “if you’ve got nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all” works when talking to people, but not when you are receiving a story, what the writer wants is constructive criticism like I commented.

4 hours ago, Sake said:

This sort of attitude is what makes it harder for artists and writers to improve.

Nobody's going to be perfect, and if you're going to put something out you'd damn well better expect people to point out how it's not perfect, and you'd also damn well better listen when people tell you what you can improve.

There's nothing wrong with respectful criticism, and the thing to which you responded is very good, very respectful, and very valid criticism. To discourage criticism is to discourage improvement. Nobody will know how to improve if nobody tells them what they're doing wrong.

And, honestly, if you ask me, if someone can't take criticism, they shouldn't be posting art in the first place. Any artist knows that what they're posting isn't perfect, that people will have problems with it, and that they will point out those problems; in fact, if they have any intention of being a real artist, that's exactly what they want. To reject that is to reject the single best means to improve one's skills. And, sure, there is a bad way to criticize, but that's not it. Bad criticism is saying "this sucks" without any elaboration or any explanation on how to make it not suck. Bad criticism is also refusing to give criticism in the first place because pointing out issues isn't nice. Of course it's not nice. But being nice doesn't help. "Is it perfect, no" doesn't help anyone because you haven't explained why it isn't perfect and how it could be closer to perfect.

If the artist doesn't like the criticism, that's one thing. It's an entirely different thing when people flat out don't give criticism and actively discourage others from doing so. That is the biggest obstacle to improvement, that nobody wants anyone to point out what's wrong with something. Point out the problems, artist acknowledges and fixes the problems, artist improves. That's how it works.

Exactly.

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5 hours ago, pguy69 said:

Way to encourage a new member to post again! It's really daunting joining a site like this, and to actually bit the bullet and post, rather than just being a lurker, takes bottle. It is also clear that English is not their first language. Is it perfect, no, but for a first post, I, for one, am keen to see more. Ripping it apart can do nothing but put them off posting again. Jeez, if you've got nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all. There is plenty on this forum that does nothing for me, but I don't comment all of it telling people that!

To be honest, it's comments like yours that I find unproductive and a bit of an eyesore to read. I strongly prefer reading comments with criticism and feedback on stories that I post here. "I'd love to hear more from you. Thanks for sharing!" is boring and tells people almost nothing about why you enjoyed their story, what they can improve on and what they are doing great on. Writers live for this kind of thing and in my opinion if you have nothing constructive to say, don't say anything at all.

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I personally don't think that first time posters on a website, sharing experiences regarding a fetish such as omorashi, have any intention of ever being an artist. For a lot of people it would take a lot of courage to even join such a site, let alone post an experience, or a fiction. The poster didn't ask for opinions, or feedback, they merely stated that if we approve, they will post more stories and experiences. I am firmly of the opinion that a first time poster should be encouraged and made to feel welcome, to encourage future posts. I'm sure they are not pursuing a career in literature, rather just exploring an often demonised fetish with like minded people. My initial post may well have been boring, but it was intended to be encouraging. I know when I posted my first fiction on here, I appreciated every single person that told me they liked it. It really encouraged me to write and share more. That's all I was trying to achieve.

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On 3/3/2019 at 3:45 PM, pguy69 said:

Way to encourage a new member to post again! It's really daunting joining a site like this, and to actually bit the bullet and post, rather than just being a lurker, takes bottle. It is also clear that English is not their first language. Is it perfect, no, but for a first post, I, for one, am keen to see more. Ripping it apart can do nothing but put them off posting again. Jeez, if you've got nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all. There is plenty on this forum that does nothing for me, but I don't comment all of it telling people that!

As an artist and writer myself, I can't think of anything more valuable than criticism.

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2 hours ago, pguy69 said:

The poster didn't ask for opinions, or feedback

Criticism doesn't require permission...

2 hours ago, pguy69 said:

they merely stated that if we approve, they will post more stories and experiences.

... nor does it mean the critic is automatically trying to imply the work is terrible.

2 hours ago, pguy69 said:

I'm sure they are not pursuing a career in literature

Surprisingly, people other than professionals are capable of improving.

2 hours ago, pguy69 said:

rather just exploring an often demonised fetish with like minded people.

And indeed, the relative lack of content of this particular type - especially good content - means constructive criticism is even more valuable than it otherwise would be. It means good content stands out more than average or mediocre content and ultimately gets more attention. The story posted in this thread is decidedly average. And that's fine, because advice on how to improve was already provided.

2 hours ago, pguy69 said:

I appreciated every single person that told me they liked it. It really encouraged me to write and share more.

And that's great, but ultimately it doesn't accomplish anything. It's not really helpful. Sure, it might end up in more content being produced, but that's not necessarily a good thing unless quality actively improves over time.

Quality over quantity, every time.

More than that, though, if the writer has an issue with people giving criticism, they can come out themselves and explain why they don't like the criticism that's being given. They don't need you running around being their white knight. Because you know what? If you're gonna put something out for other people to see, you already know it's going to be criticized whether you want it to be or not, and what makes your work art is the ability to take that criticism and improve. And if you're not going to do that, then it's really not worth anyone else's time to bother with what you put out if it's never going to get any better, which ultimately just wastes your time too because you're putting stuff out nobody has an interest in.

Anybody who actually has an interest in writing and actually wants to share more will take and use constructive criticism. That's how art works.

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4 hours ago, pguy69 said:

I personally don't think that first time posters on a website, sharing experiences regarding a fetish such as omorashi, have any intention of ever being an artist. For a lot of people it would take a lot of courage to even join such a site, let alone post an experience, or a fiction. The poster didn't ask for opinions, or feedback, they merely stated that if we approve, they will post more stories and experiences. I am firmly of the opinion that a first time poster should be encouraged and made to feel welcome, to encourage future posts. I'm sure they are not pursuing a career in literature, rather just exploring an often demonised fetish with like minded people. My initial post may well have been boring, but it was intended to be encouraging. I know when I posted my first fiction on here, I appreciated every single person that told me they liked it. It really encouraged me to write and share more. That's all I was trying to achieve.

Now I’ll admit, I didn’t sign up here to be an artist, I signed up here to post the stories I created so that others could enjoy them. But by doing this, it allows me to improve my skills so that both me and my followers can benefit from my improved skills. That and writing is just great fun in general. The positive comments I’ve received are lovely, but I’d love it if I received some more criticism as I know my writing isn’t perfect.

1 hour ago, Sake said:

Criticism doesn't require permission...

... nor does it mean the critic is automatically trying to imply the work is terrible.

Surprisingly, people other than professionals are capable of improving.

And indeed, the relative lack of content of this particular type - especially good content - means constructive criticism is even more valuable than it otherwise would be. It means good content stands out more than average or mediocre content and ultimately gets more attention. The story posted in this thread is decidedly average. And that's fine, because advice on how to improve was already provided.

And that's great, but ultimately it doesn't accomplish anything. It's not really helpful. Sure, it might end up in more content being produced, but that's not necessarily a good thing unless quality actively improves over time.

Quality over quantity, every time.

More than that, though, if the writer has an issue with people giving criticism, they can come out themselves and explain why they don't like the criticism that's being given. They don't need you running around being their white knight. Because you know what? If you're gonna put something out for other people to see, you already know it's going to be criticized whether you want it to be or not, and what makes your work art is the ability to take that criticism and improve. And if you're not going to do that, then it's really not worth anyone else's time to bother with what you put out if it's never going to get any better, which ultimately just wastes your time too because you're putting stuff out nobody has an interest in.

Anybody who actually has an interest in writing and actually wants to share more will take and use constructive criticism. That's how art works.

Brilliant post

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pguy69 and Eli, thank You for Your support:) ! I really appreciate it:)

To all critics, thank You for your comments. I will do my best to avoid simple language mistakes next time (I am not native speaker as You probably know ) and I will altry to improve my writing skills:) Thanksf for feedback:)!

I will write and upload my next story soon (based on real experience and more "rare" :) )

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  • 2 months later...

I'm glad that some people in the world agree with my thoughts on criticism, I was known as a "savage" in middle school because of the nerve I had to criticize people, but it is the only way the world makes progress. I have always hated the saying "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" because if we only say nice things to people, they will never know how we truly feel. And what this ultimately leads to is us hiding and stuffing down what we really feel, which will probably come out as gossip later or as anger towards people you live with. I openly criticize my friends and I let them do the same to me, that way I can be myself around them and vise-versa. Even though I have less friends because of it, the quality of the friendships have been better than every friendship that people who hide their true feelings to get more friends combined. In my opinion, criticism and change is the only way mankind can progress in anyway, including something as simple as these stories.   

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