Disabled Bathrooms

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21 hours ago, Jamiexpassion said:

I'm transgender, and unfortunately in my area, true gender neutral restrooms are hard to find, and I'm not yet able to use the women's because I'm in the early stages of transition. I think there's probably 3 or 4 gender neutral places I can think of off hand, all of them being more so intended for handicapped people or families.

I often wind up using the men's, but I've also gone out of my way to use gender neutral ones too just to avoid the dysphoria.

The only way society has to judge who belongs in what restroom is the way people look. If you can pass as female use the womens restroom, if you can pass as male use the mens room. 

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3 hours ago, DeltaFoxtrot said:

The only way society has to judge who belongs in what restroom is the way people look. If you can pass as female use the womens restroom, if you can pass as male use the mens room. 

I usually use the men's because I'm not really presenting female much yet, and I almost certainly wouldn't pass yet either. Just far too early in my transition to use the women's.

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6 hours ago, DeltaFoxtrot said:

The only way society has to judge who belongs in what restroom is the way people look. If you can pass as female use the womens restroom, if you can pass as male use the mens room. 

Um, no? Because the transgender person’s comfort level is whats important here, not what some rando’s arbitrary opinion is on if they pass or not. Especially when not every random person may agree. As well as the danger she would be put in if some bigot were in the bathroom and decided to assault her.

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2 minutes ago, Ghost13 said:

Um, no? Because the transgender person’s comfort level is whats important here, not what some rando’s arbitrary opinion is on if they pass or not. Especially when not every random person may agree. As well as the danger she would be put in if some bigot were in the bathroom and decided to assault her.

I'm sorry, I must have missed the Potty Police stationed at every public restroom checking people's pants as they went in. 

Trans persons know if they pass or not. Jamie mentioned that he/she/whatever doesn't pass yet, so is hesitant to use the womens room.

If you can convincingly appear female in public, go where the other females go. If you look like a dude in a dress, you might want to avoid public spaces completely until you can do a better job with your appearance. 

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49 minutes ago, DeltaFoxtrot said:

I'm sorry, I must have missed the Potty Police stationed at every public restroom checking people's pants as they went in. 

Trans persons know if they pass or not. Jamie mentioned that he/she/whatever doesn't pass yet, so is hesitant to use the womens room.

If you can convincingly appear female in public, go where the other females go. If you look like a dude in a dress, you might want to avoid public spaces completely until you can do a better job with your appearance. 

You must live in a safe area. Not everywhere is as safe as where you are. Before I passed, I lived in a grey zone where I didn’t look male or female. I’d be harassed no matter what bathroom i went in. I was screamed at for going in the womens room, yelled at in the mens room, to the point where I learned all the locations of every gender neutral bathroom in my town. 

I have a right to feel safe, as does she. You aren’t the potty police telling her she has to use specific gendered restrooms. If she wants to use the gender neutral ones, then she has a right to.

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13 minutes ago, Ghost13 said:

I have a right to feel safe, as does she. You aren’t the potty police telling her she has to use specific gendered restrooms. If she wants to use the gender neutral ones, then she has a right to.

Where did I say this person should not use "gender neutral" restrooms, if available? You are putting words into my mouth. 

As far as your "rights" go, they don't amount to a hill of beans in the court of public opinion. 

There is an old saying... "When in Rome, do as the Romans." In other words, when in public you should do your best to blend in, not stick out. 

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On 2/12/2019 at 1:46 PM, Ghost13 said:

I have a right to feel safe, as does she. You aren’t the potty police telling her she has to use specific gendered restrooms. If she wants to use the gender neutral ones, then she has a right to.

You are absolutely correct. The only thing upon which you should be judged is your conduct. Your experiences trigger my sense of outrage.

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I am able bodied but suffer with IBS so using the disabled toilets is my best option to avoid any unwanted accidents.

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This probably sounds terrible on my part but I have quite bad anxiety with going to the loo in public if it's busy or if I need anything other than a wee so I'll try to use the disabled or family bathrooms if they are empty and there's nobody headed their way

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