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Chapter 1: When issues have to be faced   “Thank goodness for the internet” Will said to himself as he sat alone in his office as always. It seemed more and more of his life, thank goodness,

Chapter 2: Getting There Thankfully it was still just daylight and he had already looked up the building and route on google street map. Will had prepared for everything in his head. Everything t

Will had forgotten about the receptionist. Sarah was standing holding the door open for him with her legs crossed and a hand between them. God she was so stunning even more so with a full bladder. He

Sarah gave Will’s penis one last shake as the final few drops fell onto the lay-by ground, the smell of urine strong and powerful. Aware how public they were she was glad to see Will then move his legs inside the car again and as he did so she closed his door and walked back round to the driver’s side. 

 

Sarah put on her seatbelt and turned her engine on smiling to herself. She thought just how far Will had come from the terrified anxious man she met just a few weeks previously. She was immensely fond of him and could not imagine life without him and he turned her on more than anyone she had ever met. Even now, in a lay-by on a busy road, early evening on a Saturday in late February she was incredibly aroused by the fact Will had just urinated in her car door and on the roadside. She just wasn’t sure how appropriate it was to let Will know quite the effect his desperation and peeing had on her. She did feel he should know just how much she liked him though. 

 

‘Will, that was lovely. Thank you for letting me do that for you. Are you ok?’ 

 

‘Sort of. I’m just..well so sorry about your car again Sarah. First I piss myself in it now this. Honestly I usually have much stronger control. I don’t know what’s happened to me. I’m so sorry.’ 

 

As she continued to drive along the A road Sarah tried to make Will feel better, periodically stroking his leg with her left hand between changing gears. 

 

‘I know what’s happened Will. Think about it honey. You are so much more relaxed than you have ever been. Just take a minute and think about just how far you have come. We only met a matter of weeks ago and you couldn’t speak to me or even relax in my company. You cried because your bladder would not release in the bathrooms in my work no matter how bad you needed it to. Just think about all the places you have peed since then...the sink in McDonald’s, my house, Starbucks, a jug in my living room, outside in the car park of the cinema, at the side of the road, and in your work? Didn’t you say you had been there now? I am so so proud of you. You do know that don’t you? You do know I think the world of you Will Highland?’ 

 

Will was tired, embarrassed and frustrated at himself. He was surrounded by the constant smell and splashing of urine as the door beside him remained full of warm yellow liquid that he had put there. It was so sweet of Sarah to talk about his progress but she had no need to feel proud of him. He was a loser, a failure, and she deserved so much better. She’d just found out less than an hour ago that her mum had Alzheimer’s and here he was pissing in her car. What sort of idiot does that to someone he cared about? With his head facing the floor Will replied quietly. 

 

‘I’m afraid I actually haven’t went at work yet. I’ve found the gents now but I still can’t get myself to...you know. That’s the reason I wet myself yesterday before our date. I’m so ashamed of myself. You deserve so much better Sarah. You deserve a man who can control himself, protect you, respect your property and help you through what’s going on with your mum. I care about you. I mean that. God I find you a hell of an attractive woman but I’ve just pissed in the door of your car. You don’t need someone who does that. No-one does. Please could you drop me at mine. Thanks.’ 

 

Sarah was approaching a junction. Straight ahead took her the few more minutes to Will’s apartment, left took her a few minutes to her own house. She hesitated but knew she had to respect what Will wanted even if she didn’t agree. 

 

She drove straight ahead. 

 

Will got out quietly when Sarah pulled into his apartment block. Ever since pulling to the side of the road Will had changed but Sarah had no idea why. There was no goodbye kiss, just a muttered thank you and that was that. Will had leaned into the back seat and grabbed his bag before closing Sarah’s passenger door gently to ensure no more urine splashed on her car. He’d caused her enough damage already, she didn’t need more. 

 

Will entered his flat silently wishing he hadn’t went on his date with Sarah after all. He had no regrets about meeting her, even making love to her, but he hated himself, really hated himself, for being so unprofessional and having so little control of his own body that he would piss in her car door. That was something a drunk man would do not a sober, professional man who had just been with a friend while they heard bad news. 

 

Will was hungry and thirsty but felt so unworthy to even see to his physical needs. Not only had he pissed over his friend’s car she had no idea that he had brought himself to sexual climax in the very room she had just been told about her mum, and not only that but it was witnessing his very friend desperate to pee that had stimulated him in the first place. 

 

Guilt consumed Will like a lion devouring its prey. He didn’t even feel like switching on the TV. He’d let himself down badly, even worse he had let Sarah down and there was nothing he could do to make it right. She deserved so much more. She was an angel to his demon, at least that’s what his mind told him. 

 

Sarah’s mind was running a marathon as she tried to figure out what she had said to trigger Will. Was it the mention of work, or the fact he still hadn’t managed to pee there yet even after six years in the same place? Was he worried about pissing in her car or had she over stepped the mark by holding his penis as he released, perhaps invading his privacy? He’d let her do that before though, so what had changed? She had no idea. Tears stung in her eyes though as the reality of losing Will became stronger. 

 

She pulled into her driveway, opened her front door and allowed the tears to flow feeling lonelier and more heartbroken than she had ever had in her life. She was tired, hungry and thirsty but it was so hard to cook, drink or relax knowing things just weren’t right with Will. 

 

She put the oven on and put in a quiche, drank a glass of water and headed out with a ladle, a serving spoon, a roll of kitchen towel and a plastic bag. Tears or no tears no-one would feed her, make her a drink or clean her car for her. She had to do this herself. She was strong.

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An hour later Will was still in the same position, sometimes staring straight ahead, sometimes shutting his eyes. He wanted to disappear. Shame, guilt and depression hung over him like a never moving grey cloud, stubborn and heavy. 

 

Sarah had a sudden brain wave. Having tried spooning the urine from the car door pocket and struggling she noticed the pocket was clipped in to the car interior door so she pulled at it as hard as she could until one side pinged away and a sudden rush of liquid ran out of the plastic narrow pocket onto her driveway, running towards the grass garden nearby. Sarah used the kitchen roll to dry the inside door before spraying the car interior with air freshener and pushing the bottom of the pocket back in place. Cleaning up after Will never bothered her at all. She’d longed to have someone to clean up after for years and the fun that preceded the mess was always worthwhile. Sarah couldn’t stop thinking of Will as she returned inside to eat and drink and wash her hands. 

 

The evening was closing in and still Will sat there, his mind drifting from one life disaster to another. He was numb and angry as past incidents flashed before his mind. First the wetting at school, then the time his tutor had mentioned she needed to pee and he was almost caught with a massive erection as a teenager,  then the time he was in the back of the car going on holiday desperate to pee and when his mum pulled into a lay-by for a coffee because she refused to pay service station prices he opened the rear door and before he could stand up he had to pull out his penis and piss so much while he mum watched in horror. Will had such a history of shame and humiliation linked to peeing that he had developed severe anxiety to the point of being unable to pee away from home. 

 

Finally he got up but only to get himself a large glass of water. He was hungry but he had no motivation to cook and water was sufficient to keep him alive for now. He returned to his seat and his private thoughts. Things had changed since meeting Sarah. She not only seemed to want to help him with his anxiety and peeing difficulties but she was absolutely incredible to have sex with. She was his first, and now he knew what he was missing. But self loathing and post traumatic stress now tore him away from the very person who seemed to understand and support him. So now he added guilt of how he had treated Sarah to his long list of failures in life. He hated his body, especially his penis which seemed to mock him by either refusing to pee when he absolutely had to or peeing when he needed to hold. If he couldn’t control his own body what could he control? 

 

Sarah ate, drank and tried to figure out what had went wrong with Will all at the same time. Ever since the lay-by incident he had changed. The therapist in her knew the changes to look out for and recognised the signs. Had something happened in Will’s past that caused the change rather than her? That would certainly account for the sudden way Will reacted. If that was the case then he needed more help than she had previously thought. He had been doing so well in her home made unorthodox therapy that involved getting him to experience  peeing in lots of different places whilst making him feel incredible special and supported by..em...having sex. It was a far cry from any therapy she had been trained in for sure, but she couldn’t deny it was having a huge impact on Will...and herself. 

 

She wasn’t about to give up on him now. Right now though she figured he would be in bed so she decided to contact him first thing. 

 

Will was dosing as his mind tormented him, waking only to drink his water. It was past midnight but he had no inclination to even bother going to bed. He knew his mind wouldn’t switch off anyway. Everything and anything pee and sexual swirled in his mind. It blurred together forming a tornado of torment that caused him to scream, cry and freeze with anxiety. Every time he woke he tried drinking water to clear his mind only to dose back asleep and return to vivid hallucinations of being bursting, holding, wetting or having related sexual leakage at inappropriate times. His mind flashed to all the afternoons he was crossed legged in his office bouncing his knee and holding himself as horror thoughts filled his mind that his room was full of cameras and he was watched just like he feared in the nursing home. He mind came to the only logical conclusion it could, one it had come to previously, and proved to be safe: to protect from farther phycological damage , Will must only pee in his own bathroom in his own apartment once again. He couldn’t allow Sarah to push him any more for fear his body might get again embarrass him. He took another drink of water, finishing the glass, got up and walked to bed, took off his clothes and lay on his bed naked in the hope of finally getting some rest from his tormented mind. 

 

Sarah woke with a renewed determination. She also woke with a very full bladder but rather than empty it right away she decided to write an email to Will since texts had such a limited character number available. She crossed her legs whilst putting on the kettle to make tea whilst her laptop booted up. She really ought to pee first but now she was downstairs she wanted to get the words down on the email while they were fresh in her head. She could hold a little pee for a few minutes anyway. 

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Sarah returned to her main room with mug in hand and sat down ready to write. Her bladder pulsated and she wriggled in an attempt to get comfortable, her mind every bit as full as her bladder with words that desperately needed out. She opened her email and put in Will’s email address and began writing. 

 

“Dear Will, 

 

You are so important to me, more important even than my own body. You are heavy on my mind today. I so want to come to yours right this minute to say this face to face but I don’t want to push you more than I already have. 

 

Whatever you need I would love to be the person to provide that. 

When things trouble you I would love if my shoulder was the one you cried on.’ 

 

Sarah sipped her tea, wriggling more and more as her bladder pushed down firmly looking for release. The thought that Will might wake and busy himself and not get time to read her words until later spurred her on to keep writing. It was true that Will was more important to her than her very own body and now she would prove that. She bounced her knee, sipped some more tea and carried on typing. 

 

‘I know our relationship has been very intensive and desperate at times. We have both really struggled to hold back and control ourselves on occasions and that has put us in situations that, for us both, have been enormously powerful, even emotional. When I am with you I am often so full, so longing, so focussed on trying to hold back. Even right now, despite you not being here, I feel all that and so much more. My whole body is longing, my breasts are sensitive, my nipples hard, the very hairs on my neck are tingling. It’s hard to focus on writing though I know I need to. My heart is beating faster, my back sweating. This is hard but blissful. I need to get this out but I’m struggling to get to the point. Maybe if I keep writing, moving around the subject more, it will come out of me at some point. 

 

I’m waffling on now. Sorry. This is harder than I thought it would be. 

 

I need to be honest with you Will, very honest. I’m sitting in my living room drinking tea having come straight downstairs since waking. I’m consumed by something very urgent, on more than one level. Please excuse me if I am lax with my spelling or punctuation. I’m sitting in just my nightie and knickers desperate for the bathroom while typing but determined to finish this before I go. I haven’t been since last night and I’m bursting! 

 

But this is important, much more important.’

 

Sarah paused to read over what she had written so far, anxious to get it right but struggling not only for words but to hold back from peeing everywhere. She bounced on the couch, wriggling frantically as her urethra pushed continuously and forcefully against her cotton knickers. She pressed her hand between her legs and pushed against herself, determined to finish what she needed to do first. She knew if she stopped to run upstairs her mind would convince her not to press send or continue writing. There was no choice. If she wanted to get out what was heavy in her mind the the heaviness in her bladder would have to take second place, regardless how much it fought against that idea. With one hand holding herself, pushing, stroking and cupping herself she used the other to keep typing. 

 

‘Since the very first moment I saw you I have felt something for you. I’ve never felt this before. I thought it was lust. Your golden blond hair, your perfect features and your beard are so appealing. Your eyes look deep into my soul. Your whole body sets me alight. When you squirmed in my office you caused my whole body to tingle. I have dreamt of meeting someone as caring, sexy, and as interesting as you all my life. The fact that you have the same sexual thoughts, fetish even, as me is like the cherry on the cake. You drive me crazy and making love to you is like going to heaven.’ 

 

Sarah had to pause as an intense spasm shot through her and she needed both hands over her knickers while she rocked back and forth. She was utterly desperate to pee and close to wetting herself but she was almost finished her email. She rubbed herself frantically feeling her pants dampening as small drops of urine leaked out mixed with her mucus. Sarah longed to orgasm but the need to urinate was overpowering. If only she could just end her email... 

 

‘I guess what I am saying Will is that...oh God I’m so desperate to wee..whatever you are struggling with, whatever is holding you back; your fears, your past, your anxieties...how about we face them together? 

 

I really really need to go now. I’m just going to release this because I can’t hold back. I know this will be messy, out of control, and leave us both with so much to sort out but..’

 

Sarah was right on edge. She was dancing about like a woman possessed right about to burst. She pushed her coffee table forward and hunched down between the table and her couch and finally allowed her emotions and bladder to release together as she typed her finally five words whilst warm urine poured down her legs and onto her floor, through her underpants and causing a massive puddle beneath her, just as Sarah’s emotions poured from her heart equally uncontrollably..

 

‘Will, I love you,

 

Sarah. Xx’

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Will had drifted in and out of a very fitful sleep, restlessly tossing on his king size bed as his mind tormented and teased him. He had no idea what time it was as a sudden and very strong urge to use the bathroom stirred him into fully wakening. As will lay on his back naked he grabbed his penis tightly, aware that not only was he in urgent need of releasing piss but he was also hard and horny. 

 

Will sat up urgently as another spasm seemed to come quickly and unexpectedly. He carefully swung one leg over the side of the bed as both hands held onto his member in the hope he would make it to the bathroom in time. An empty stomach but overfill bladder made for a difficult combination as Will regretted drinking so much water as he gained more consciousness with every passing spasm from his bladder. He hobbled around the bed bent over as his phone beeped with an alert. Bleary eyed and too curious for his own good, Will picked up the phone in one hand whilst tightly pinching himself closed with the other. He typed in his code one handed, silently cursing at how badly he had to piss. 

 

‘Oh Fuck! I’ll piss then read. Oh my God though it’s Sarah! Right if she’s calling it off I’ll just read the first line then run. Oh man I’m dying for the loo. Open you stupid email before I piss on the carpet!’

 

Will sat on the edge of his bed, his naked legs crossed tightly, his knee bouncing in urgently. His eyes were drawn to the opening lines:

 

Dear Will, 

 

You are so important to me, more important even than my own body.

 

Will found himself reading and talking back to the email as if Sarah could hear him. He adjusted his hold on his penis, which was now tingling with desire and moving of its own doing. Just reading an email from Sarah aroused Will more than he even realised as he pictured his auburn princess right beside him, knowing his current struggle would be a huge turn on to her. What might she be meaning about him being more important than her own body? He smiled as he realised he too must value her the same way, after all there was absolutely no other person who could have persuaded him to hear from them more than he desired to empty his bladder right now. Will read on eagerly: 

 

‘I so want to come to yours right this minute..’ 

 

Oh sweetheart, I want that so badly. But I’m afraid I might piss on you! Oh fuck Will read quicker! Will found himself squirming badly as he read more. 

 

‘Whatever you need I would love to be the person to provide that. ‘

 

Babe, I need a lavatory, a bucket, or even a bottle! I need to wee like you would not believe! Oh beautiful if only you really were here to do that right now! 

 

Will had to clench tighter as the very thought of having a bucket before him sent urine towards his penis at a rate of knots. He tried standing but as he bent over he lost his balance as his naked bottom fell back onto the side of his bed. Will scrolled down a little and read another part: 

 

‘I know our relationship has been very intensive and desperate at times. We have both really struggled to hold back and control ourselves on occasions..’

 

Oh God girl, you have no idea how much I am struggling right this very second! This IS intensive honey. You really do have no idea. 

 

Will stroked his erect penis hoping his erection would hold his urine back. He so wanted to get to the end of the email...

 

‘When I am with you I am often so full, so longing, so focussed on trying to hold back. Even right now, despite you not being here, I feel all that and so much more. My whole body is longing, my breasts are sensitive, my nipples hard, the very hairs on my neck are tingling. It’s hard to focus on writing though I know I need to. My heart is beating faster, my back sweating. This is hard, but blissful. I need to get this out but I’m struggling to get to the point. Maybe if I keep writing, moving around the subject more, it will come out of me at some point.’ 

 

Will’s balls ached badly both with the need to pee and the need to cum. He closed his eyes and pictured Sarah aroused and ready. Will was ready too...more than ready. 

 

Babe, spit it out before I burst here! At this rate it will be firing out of me before it comes out of you! As if to illustrate his point, then and there Will watched in horror as a spurt of urine shot out of his erect shaft, firing in the air before landing on his bare foot. The warm liquid sent shivers through Will’s body as wave after wave hit him strongly, his bladder hard and distended and bulging with liquid. 

 

Still Will refused to allow himself relief until he got to the end.

 

‘I’m consumed by something very urgent, on more than one level’

 

Yes, yes Sarah! Me too! I hear you! 

 

Will’s teeth were clenched every bit as much as his muscles as his whole being longed to pee and cum so badly. Will tried to focus on what Sarah might be referring to but all he could think about was getting the release he needed. He was right on the edge, unsure of what might be coming next.

 

‘I’m sitting in just my nightie and knickers desperate for the bathroom while typing but determined to finish this before I go. I haven’t been since last night and I’m bursting!’

 

Will read and reread those two sentences as his hard penis responded excitedly. Will was seconds away from coming and he knew it. The thought of Sarah squirming writing to him, his own urgent need for the same thing combined with the sexual effect that had on them both was sending waves of three fold pleasure right through Will as he stroked and imagined and enjoyed himself. It wasn’t easy to do so, but he needed to read more. 

 

‘When you squirmed in my office you caused my whole body to tingle.’

 

Yes Sarah, you do that to me too baby! More than you realise. Ohhhhhh. Fffffuuuu....

 

Will’s eyes were blurring as his body shook with desire. It was all he could do to blink and try and read on. Will scrolled with one hand and stroked with the other as desire culminated and cum shot out of him as he read.

 

‘You drive me crazy and making love to you is like going to heaven.’ 

 

Yes, yes, yes. Fuck that’s what it’s like for me too! Woah! Shit I needed that babe! 

 

With sticky cum covering his still erect shaft Will rubbed it all around his head and length as he read the remains of Sarah’s message. As he relaxed though, another urgency hit him with such an intensity he almost sent piss firing to his ceiling. Oh fuck did he NEED to piss now! With his finger pushed tightly against his opening Will rushed to the bathroom, phone still in hand as drips of piss moistened his hand and fingers. 

 

‘I guess what I am saying Will is that...oh God I’m so desperate to wee..whatever you are struggling with, whatever is holding you back; your fears, your past, your anxieties...how about we face them together? 

 

Will stumbled to his bathroom in the dark with just the faint light from the window to guide him to where the toilet was. With Sarah he could face this. He had to. He couldn’t live his life any longer only able to urinate in his own bathroom. He had to beat this. Will just hoped he could as another spurt shot out splashing in what he could only hope was his toilet. With one hand holding and vainly trying to point Will gazed at the ending to Sarah’s extraordinary email. 

 

‘I really really need to go now. I’m just going to release this because I can’t hold back. I know this will be messy, out of control, and leave us both with so much to sort out but..’

 

Will had to release too. The tension, the pain, the intensity, was too much now. He breathed and relaxed as a thick stream cascaded from his penis like his life depended on it. It was exactly as Sarah was saying: messy, out of control and he was sure he too would have mess to clear up as he fondled in the dark hoping at least most of his pee was making it into the toilet. As he allowed his body to empty he reread the last paragraph of the email as it suddenly dawned on him that Sarah had wet herself because she had put him first. She had wanted him to get her email so badly she had pushed herself to an extreme situation to such an extent she had caused herself mess and inconvenience all because of him. She really was someone very very special. He needed her. He had feelings for her. He wondered...could it be? 

 

As his pee finally subsided Will gave himself a shake before finally turning to switch the light on to read Sarah’s closing words clearly. He placed the phone on the side of the sink as he flushed the toilet and then returned to the sink to wash his hands, tears streaming down his face as he finally admitted to himself how he really felt about Sarah. 

 

‘Will, I love you,’

 

I love you too Sarah. So much my sweetheart. So very much. 

 

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Sarah closed her laptop, stepped out of her wet knickers, pulled her nightdress over her head and ran upstairs to shower as quick as she could. As warm water poured over her sensitive skin she felt vulnerable, exposed and scared. Tears of relief, anxiety and tension ran down her cheeks as more dribbles of urine ran down her legs, her body completing what she thought it had already finished downstairs. Sarah quickly washed and rinsed her hair, dried herself hurriedly, and dressed herself with the first top and trousers her hands came to, before rushing back downstairs to clear up her mess. 

 

Now focussed solely on cleaning Sarah filled a bucket with warm soapy water and searched her under sink cupboard for a hard brush and cloths. Why had she allowed herself to get to such a point that she had released a very full bladder on her lovely living room carpet? Cleaning up after Will never bothered her but cleaning her own mess did somehow,  especially not knowing if it had been worthwhile. Had Will even read her email yet? Sarah was strong, determined and intelligent but right now she felt exposed, nervous and worried. Had she frightened off the very man her heart thought about all day long? Whatever happened, like the stains on her cream carpet, erasing her thoughts was proving much harder than she hoped. 

 

Alone in his apartment Will was sweating and shaking with adrenaline. He’d never felt anything like this before. Will only left his house to go to work. That was all he had done for years. He relied totally on the internet for everything, from groceries to clothing, from arranging appointments to getting any entertainment he needed. Anxiety and routine ruled Will’s life, isolating him and protecting him simultaneously. But now he felt alive, excited and energised. He was laughing like a young child as he circled around his flat buzzing with a high he had no idea even existed. One second he was combing his hair, the next trimming his beard, the next spaying deodorant and within minutes he had his coat on, car keys in hand and he walked out his apartment as if it was a daily occurrence, his mind focussed on the one his heart loved with everything he had.

 

Will pulled up outside Sarah’s house unsure if he should ring her bell or knock? Did she even have a bell? He’d never noticed before, but then he’d never visited anyone ever, just like he had never driven without the voice of his sat nav in the car yet he had just done that for the first time too. Sarah was changing him without him even realising. As he walked briskly down the driveway he recalled watching movies where men arrived with flowers in hand and anxiety made him freeze as past thoughts that he was a failure took their toll again. 

 

Will’s hand was sweating on the door handle to Sarah’s house as last minute nerves hit hard. In the end Will decided to try opening the door reasoning to himself that if it was locked he could almost pretend he had never left his apartment and it was all a dream. The door opened silently and easily and Will walked over the threshold and closed the door behind him, suddenly hoping Sarah didn’t have company! Why hadn’t that thought entered his head earlier? Will turned quickly to see Sarah on her knees through the open living room door. Even from behind she looked so beautiful, so perfect, as her auburn hair moved back and forth over her neck and shoulders as she scrubbed. As it sunk in why and what she was scrubbing from the carpet Will suddenly got down on his own knees, crawled over to the basin of water, and with Sarah still totally unaware of his presence, he picked up a cloth and began scrubbing as Sarah’s eyes saw his hand first, then his wrist, then his arms, before finally rising and looking right into his eyes. 

 

Will edged slightly forward, both on their hands and knees, as their lips met and stayed together in a long and lingering kiss.

 

It took a few minutes before Will pulled away slightly, whispering breathlessly as if to confirm the obvious:

 

‘I got your email’

 

Sarah laughed right from the depth of her belly as her eyes twinkled and her whole being seemed to relax. 

 

‘Really? I thought you were just bringing me milk!’ As she laughed hysterically again. 

 

Will wasn’t sure he got the joke but he was delighted to see his princess and queen so happy and relaxed. She radiated perfection, beauty and sexiness in every way possible. 

 

Will sat back, his back against the armchair behind him, his feet on the floor and his knees bent as his eyes stayed fixed solely on Sarah.  His voice strong, his intentions clear as he spoke stronger than he ever had in his life: 

 

‘Sarah Henderson, I love you.’

 

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