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Something my dad said


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I couldn't think of a better title sorry

Anyway, so about a week ago my father and I were sitting outside on our porch and he brought how I haven't dated or anything yet. He then said "You're 20, you should've had your wiener in something by now." That statement just blew me away because I've brought up that I'm not attracted to anyone in that way. But it's been bothering me ever since, is it wrong to have not had sex or dated at this point?

People I know shame me for it, so I'm curious what the general consensus is

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2 hours ago, dabboi said:

I couldn't think of a better title sorry

Anyway, so about a week ago my father and I were sitting outside on our porch and he brought how I haven't dated or anything yet. He then said "You're 20, you should've had your wiener in something by now." That statement just blew me away because I've brought up that I'm not attracted to anyone in that way. But it's been bothering me ever since, is it wrong to have not had sex or dated at this point?

People I know shame me for it, so I'm curious what the general consensus is

Nah, it's not wrong at all. Don't worry about it. Date when you're ready or not at all if that's what you want. Don't worry about other people. They have no right to judge you for it.

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I would say, @dabboi, that it is not what anyone else things or finds to be appropriate at your age, but what you want and desire. I know people who desire to have a relationship, to have someone to be close to - and they usually put some more attention into looking for someone (e.g. through a dating site). Personally, I do not feel a need to actively look for someone yet, and that is also fine.

I totally agree with what @desperatewet said. Everyone has his or her own pace in life - I have friends who have married when they were 21, and I have people who are 26 and have never dated anyone. Personally, I am 23 and have always been single (and yes, a virgin). I personally think I am fine where I am in my life right now, I have enough going on without handling a relationship as well (would not know where I would build in the time for a boyfriend - bad as it may sound), and I have enough friends (both guys and girls, but you get that when you go into a technical field) who fulfill my desires for close (platonic) relationships at this point in my life.

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Ignore your father, i hate people that think way too much about virginity and think its a toy and that sex is a mandatory thing that needs to happen at a certain time and doesnt care who with, sex and a love life are very special, ill tell you this when i was in highschool i was dating a guy from my class (i was about 16) and everyone was asking me if he fucked me yet.... i told them no and why was it so important to them if i did, they would tell me to just ride him already

course i dated a mamas boy who wouldnt do anything without his mom knowing, but i was young and although sex came to mind many times, it wasnt something i wanted to just get over with, losing my virginity i wanted to be special, not something to get out of the way. You kinda know when you meet the right person when you aren’t nervous and you don’t hesitate with anything, im 20 and my lover will be 25 next week, we were both virgins our first time and have been together for 2 years, we didn’t hesitate or stop or questioned if this is what we wanted, we wanted each other

age is an allusion with virginity and relationships, everything takes time, you need to find your special one and go from there, you will know

Edited by Brittanybunny (see edit history)
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I'm a 23 year old male virgin who has never so much as kissed a girl.  The farthest I've gone occured when I was in tenth grade when a girl accidentally grabbed my balls. It was humilating for both of us to say the least.  Anywho, I don't think being a virgin or not having dated anyone is something to feel bad about.  Rather I think the issue is about whether a person is content with the single life or wants to have a significant other.  I'm sort of on the fence myself where I think it would be nice to have a significant other, but at the same time I don't think I'm ready yet.  I think the worst thing that you could do is to force yourself into having a loveless relationship or meaningless sex just to be what society says is normal.  Everyone is going to have a different opinion on the matter, but at the end of the day, it comes down to how you feel.  You need to be the one who makes the decision and say that you are fine with the way things are now, or you can try to make a change.  Don't let other people's expectations define your life.  Just be yourself and do what you feel you want to do.

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