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An Eorzean Adventure (Final Fantasy XIV)


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Since the last Final Fantasy XIV story just kinda died... Well, I suppose I'll try my hand at it.

 

CHOOSE A NAME
 

CHOOSE A GENDER
 

CHOOSE A RACE:

AU RA – A race with bizarre dimorphism. Males are tall and muscular, while females are short and lithe. They have demon/dragon-like horns in place of their ears, a scaly tail, and patches of scales on their bodies.

ELEZEN – Almost your typical fantasy elves, but tend to be stronger rather than more dexterous.

HYUR – Typical human. That's all there really is to say.

LALAFELL – Small humanoids. Think halflings or gnomes. The shortest and most child-like physically.

MIQO'TE – Catfolk who resemble humans with cat ears and tails. Not quite as tall as hyur, but not as short as lalafell.

ROEGADYN – Bulky humanoids who typically have a good foot over the tallest members of other races.

 

CHOOSE A CLASS:

MARAUDER – Axe-wielding fighters who become the center of attention via pure intimidation.

GLADIATOR – Sword-and-board knights in shining armor.

ARCHER – Bow-users.

LANCER – Polearm specialists.

PUGILIST – Fisticuffs brawlers. 

ROGUE – The sneaky shadow-stalking, back-stabbing thieves.

THAUMATURGE – Offensive magic wielders, blasting enemies with fire, ice, and lightning.

ARCANIST – A mathematics-based caster who summons creatures to aid in battle.

CONJURER – Healers and speakers of the land, can also attack with earth, wind, and water.

 

The class choice determines what city we'll start at
Limsa Lominsa - A marine city ruled by former pirates in the island plains of La Noscea. Home city of Marauders, Rogues, and Arcanists.
Ul'dah - A walled merchant city in the middle of the savannahs of Thanalan. Home city of Gladiators, Pugilists, and Thaumaturges.
Gridania - A city in-tune with the elements in the middle of the forests of the Black Shroud. Home city of Archers, Lancers, and Conjurers.

 

HOW LARGE IS YOUR BLADDER?

0 – A bladder for ants
1 – Pea-sized
2 – Greatly below average
3 – Below average
4 – Slightly below average
5 – Average
6 – Slightly above average
7 – Above average
8 – Greatly above average
9 - Gargantuan
10 – Colossal

 

HOW WELL CAN YOU HOLD IT?

0 – You can't; you're literally incontinent
1 – You need the restroom every five minutes
2 – Greatly below average
3 – Below average
4 – Slightly below average
5 – Average
6 – Slightly above average
7 – Above average
8 – Greatly above average
9 – You pee twice a week
10 – You can hold it a week straight

 

DO YOU WET THE BED?

0 – Every night, sometimes multiple times
1 – Somewhere between nightly and every other night
2 – A few days a week
3 – Frequently, but not regularly
4 – Occasionally
5 – Sometimes
6 – Rarely, but accidents happen!
7 – Only if you drink a lot before bed
8 – Only if you drink a lot before bed and forget to use the toilet
9 – Only if you drink a lot before bed, forget to use the toilet, and end up sleeping in
10 – Absolutely never

 

OTHER: Any other ideas for the character that I might have skipped. Personality, looks, etc.

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You hear and feel your stomach growling. The last time you ate was prior to boarding the carriage to start your adventure, and in the excitement of yesterday you never got a chance to eat a second mea

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It had been a long trip getting here. Or it had seemed that way, at least. A ride by carriage through the dense forests of the Black Shroud. You had set out to become an Adventurer, a job of money, glory, and, in your case, turning monsters into pin cushions. You’re an Archer, after all; not the best, but definitely not the worst.

During your trip, your carriage had been accosted by the bird-like Ixal that have taken up residence in the Shroud. You would have returned fire on them, but… Unfortunately, you only had the Gil to get a new bow, not armor. You’ll have to make do with your regular clothes for now – a black and white leather tunic, black shorts, and a pair of thigh-high boots. Needless to say, attempting the heroics then would have resulted in you becoming a pin cushion yourself.

Luckily, the carriage was able to outrun them to the safety of Gridania. One of your co-passengers bids you adieu as you get off the carriage at the city gates. You had talked with him on the ride over, but between your thoughts of adventure, getting shot at by birdmen, and a sudden pressure that popped up as a result of being shot at by birdmen, you can’t remember what you talked about. A pair of younger, white-haired elezen twins were also exiting the carriage here. They had been eerily quiet on the way over, which kind of creeped you out. You do your best to ignore them as you enter the city.

You are greeted by a man in green leather armor and an eye-covering wooden mask. The elezen twins walk past without acknowledging him, which leaves him slightly confused as he turns back to face you. He asks if you are new to Gridania, to which you instinctively respond an affirmation.

“Well, then. Welcome to Gridania, traveler,” he says with a smile, “what brings you here, friend?”

You inform the man that you’re an adventurer, and ask if he would know anything to help you on your way.

“An adventurer? Then you’ll want to head over to the Adventurer’s Guild,” he explains to you. Pointing to a wooden structure down the path from him, he continues, “just head up this path to that building you see at the top of the hill. That’s the Roost. Ask for Mother Miounne.”

You ask nod and thank him for his help, making your way up the gravel path towards “The Roost”…

 

What will you do now?

1. Do as the guard suggested and enter the Roost

2. Ignore the suggestion and explore the city of Gridania first

3. Other (suggest something yourself)

 

(( I didn't expect anyone to reply to this, but hopefully this suffices. And don't worry, I don't plan on keeping up the silent protagonist thing. ))

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It would be rude to disregard advice from a city guard, you think to yourself as you step up to the doorway into the Roost. The entrance is decorated with yellow banners depicting a pair of serpents coiling around a staff, and the door is lined with planters containing a variety of violet-colored flowers.

Entering the building, you see several round tables filled with people eating and chatting. Lanterns dangle from the rafters, and the ceiling is mostly covered in beautiful green stained glass windows. The light pouring in through them gives the tavern a calming green tint. In the back, you see three kiosks –

One with a green-and-blue stained glass set in it, with several blue crystals embedded around the desk. Occupied by a dark-skinned elezen man with deep green clothing and beret.

One with what appears to be a sign-in sheet and quill pen. Occupied by a man with a beige robe and an odd fez.

The final kiosk is occupied by a silver-brown-haired elezen woman in a green and brown tunic. It, too has a pen and sign-in sheet, but is also covered in sealed wine bottles, teapots, and teacups. A good place to get a drink if you ever feel the need to. The pressure you felt earlier returns, reminding you that now might not be the time for that.

You approach the barkeep.

“Well, well, well… What have we here?” she asks, “A wide-eyed and wondering young adventurer, come to put your name down at the guild, I assume?”

Before you can answer, her face breaks into a smile and she continues, “Welcome. Miounne’s my name. Or Mother Miounne, as most call me, and the Carline Canopy is my place.”

“Carline Canopy?” you ask, confused, “I thought this was the Roost.”

“My, no. The Roost is the name of the inn here. Run by that jolly man down at the far end of the tavern. Same building as this, so I can understand your confusion.” she answered, pointing to the man in a turban, “if you ever need a place to stay, just ask him for a room. If you’re an official member of the Adventurer’s Guild, that is. ”

She paused for a moment, “speaking of which, as the head of the Adventurer’s Guild here in Gridania, I have the honor of providing guidance to the fledgling heroes who pass through our gates. No matter your ambitions, the guild is here to help you attain them.”

Another warm smile rose upon her face, as she gestured to the crowd in the tavern. “In return, we expect you to fulfill your duties as an adventurer by assisting the people of Gridania. A fine deal, wouldn’t you agree?”

You nod.

“To an outsider’s eyes, all may seem well here… but naught could be further from the truth. The people live in a state of constant apprehension,” she explained as her visage took a sudden dour appearance, “the Ixal and various gangs of common bandits provide an unending supply of trouble. Trouble compounded by the ever-present threat of the Garlean Empire to the north. And that is to speak nothing of the Calamity...”

A deep sigh from Mother Miounne as she recants this tale. “Even now, the wounds have barely begun to heal… Oh. Forgive me. I have been rambling. My point is that valiant adventurers are a necessity. If only to provide hope and inspiration to the people of Eorzea. That great or small, every contribution counts.”

Miounne’s smile returned, “All that’s left, then, is to conclude the business of registration. Here’s a quill, just scrawl your name riiiiiight there.”

She hands you a quill pen and points to the sheet of paper on the bar. As you ink the pen and prepare to begin writing… “Oh, and I would appreciate it if you used your real name. There is a special place in the seventh hell for those using, hmm… ‘amusing’ aliases.”

You chuckle to yourself as you write your name on the sheet. KATHERYN DETREMPE.

You hand the paper back to Mother Miounne. She looks over your name. “’Katheryn Detrempe’, hm? And you’re quite sure that isn’t an amusing alias?”

“Er...” you sputter out.

“Relax, I am only joking,” she says, giggling to herself. She clears her throat, “Very well. From this moment forward, you are a registered adventurer of Gridania, nation blessed of the elementals and the bounty of the Twelveswood. The guild expects great things from you. On behalf of my fellow citizens, I welcome you to Gridania. May you come to consider our nation as your own in time.”

Her smile is absolutely beaming.

“As for now, allow me to teach you the fundamentals of, well, being a guild adventurer,” Miounne declared, reaching beneath the bar and placing what appears to be a map of the city onto it. Inking the quill pen, she circled three areas on the map and hands it to you, “and to do that, I want you to visit these three areas to perform a simple task for me at each.”

“First, visit the Aetheryte crystal not far from the Canopy. It’s a massive crystal hovering above the plaza. I want you to reach out and attune yourself to its aether.”

“Second, take a trip to the Archer’s Guild. I take it from that bow on your back that you are an archer, yes? If so, joining them can help you hone your skills.”

“Lastly, seek out a man by the name of Parsemontret. You’ll find him near the markets. He’ll teach you all about how the markets work around here. Got it?”

 

You nod. You think you have that all down pat. In your excitement to join the guild you failed to notice that some time has passed during Mother Miounne's lecture. Your throat feels a bit parched, and the pressure in your bladder is becoming more noticeable. Though there's still some time before you think your toilet need will become urgent.

What will you do?

1. Visit the Aetheryte Plaza
2. Visit the Archer’s Guild
3. Visit Parsemontret and hear his explanations of economic splendor
4. Ask for a drink (tea, coffee, or wine)
5. Ask for the restroom
6. Other

Edited by Ruromo (see edit history)
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With your list in mind and map in hand, you decide to get the closest task out of the way first – visiting the Aetheryte Plaza. Exiting the Carline Canopy, you take a moment to look around. To your right is a beautiful, sparkling lake. Ahead of you is the path to the gate you entered the city from. To your left, the road continues up a steep-but-navigable hill, at the top of which you see a large, blue crystal.

You ascend the hill and find yourself within the city of Gridania proper. The Aetheryte is embedded in a rotating device on a wooden deck built atop a pond. You step up the ramp leading to this deck. Several people you assume to be fellow adventurers are mingling near the crystal, chatting among themselves. Several are gathered around a bespectacled hyur man playing a lute and singing. As you approach the Aetheryte, you hear its mystical crystalline jingling. Unsure of what Mother Miounne meant by “attune yourself”, you extend a hand toward the crystal.

A blue energy links your hand to the crystal. You jump a bit in surprise, feeling something being exchanged between your body and the Aetheryte. After a few seconds, the energy dissipates. You feel something is different about you, but you’re not entirely sure what. That’s one task down, you suppose.

Opening your map, you look over where your other two tasks are located. Both can be located by going down a path off to the side of the plaza. The path leads into a valley between stone plateaus, eventually forking off to your left and right. To the right is a path leading deeper into the valley that seeming leads to the Archer’s Guild. To your left is a path through a small cave that appears to lead to the markets.

As you try to decide where to visit first, you hear quick footsteps approaching from the left path. You glance down the path and see a red-haired cat-eared person in a long, white-and-red robe struggling to keep balance as they run, using one of their hands to grip the front of their clothes. As they approach, you notice they seem very distressed. Also, distracted, as they stumble into you. Luckily the miqo’te is a good two feet shorter than you, so you aren’t knocked over. You do, however, get impacted directly in your stomach.

“Hey!” you yell, wincing as you take the blow. You turn to look your ‘assailant’, only to see them continuing to sprint down the path you came from. Their tail is held stiff.

“S-sorry! In a hurry!” you hear them shout as they wave their arm back at you.

How rude, you think to yourself as you return to thinking of your next destination.

 

1. Visit the Archer’s Guild
2. Visit the Markets
3. Give chase to that miqo’te! (To find out what's wrong, or to give them a piece of your mind)
4. Other

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Whatever, you think as you begin to jog down the cavern path the miqo’te had come from, just want to get these formalities out of the way. You admire the muticolored fabrics lining the rocky walls. You’re not entirely sure why you’d decorate a cave, but you suppose it works well enough. Luckily, the cave is surprisingly short and you find yourself at the entrance of a wooden building. Inside, you see crowds of people gathered around stalls showing off various wares – clothes, food, tools, even weaponry! This must be the market.

As you enter the building, you are met with the scent of various food and a cacophony of people chattering to each other. A red carpet lines the main walking path through the area. A fair number of people are staring at an odd bulletin board near the entrance. You try to approach the board as well, but the crowd is too dense to get close enough.

Fortunately, however, your tall stature has allowed you to see over the heads of these tiny hyur, and miqo’te, and especially lalafell. Through a doorway on the opposite end of the room, you see a woman standing at a surprisingly empty desk with no one else around. Not a merchant, it seems. Might as well try asking her where this man you need to find is. You push your way through the crowd.

You nearly trip over a heavily armored lalafell. Though their helmet obscures their face, you see a pair of glowing red eyes glaring at you, and you see a large, black greatsword on their back. A greatsword larger than they are.

Er, sorry,” you apologize sheepishly.

The lalafell’s eyes flare up and they reach for their sword. You feel your legs carry you even faster through the crowds. When you reach the door, you find the next room empty, save for some benches and more of those bulletin boards. Two doors; one leading outside, and another down another market street like the one you just came from. You turn back to try to look for the lalafell, but you don’t see them. You hope they didn’t follow you. You approach the woman at the desk.

Excuse me,” you say, “Do you know where I can find a man by the name of ‘Parsemontret’?”

Ms. Miounne has you doing this, doesn’t she?” the woman asks. You nod.

He’s usually out front here,” she says, pointing to the door leading back outside, “he’s the old elezen gentleman with the mustache.”

Thank you,” you say, bowing to the woman.

Good luck, miss! I hope you didn’t have any prior engagements scheduled today,” she gives you a friendly wave goodbye.

It can’t be that long of an explanation, can it? You think to yourself as you step out of the building. Outside, you see a pathway leading a long distance down, with several houses and other buildings lining it. Near the market, you see a few small tables, one of which has a mustached elezen sitting with a tea kettle and a few teacups. You walk up to the table.

Hello, sir. Would you happen to be Parsemontret?” you inquire.

Indeed, that would be me,” he replies, “I’m guessing Miounne sent you to me to get a lesson on the markets?”

Er, yes,” you admit to him, “is that a problem?”

No, not at all, miss. Usually, Miounne has you guild initiates bribe me with a pie. But today’s your lucky day!” he laughs, “I’ll be the one treating you! Come, have a seat.”

You sit down. Parsemontret places a teacup in front of you and begins pouring a liquid from the kettle. You almost turn it away, but he seems to be waiting for you to drink before he starts actually talking. You take a sip of the liquid. It’s a bitter tea. Delicious.

So, you want to know about the markets, eh? Well, pay attention because I’ll only explain this once! The Rosewood and Ebony Stalls are both an essential part of an aspiring adventurer’s, well, adventure. You can get quality sets of armor and weapons in there. The merchants are exceedingly particular when to craftsmanship, so you won’t have to worry about defective bowstrings or the like...

You stop paying attention. You continue to drink the tea while occasionally nodding, just to take your mind off of how boring this gentleman’s clearly rehearsed speech is. You think he’s talking about all the people working there? When you finish your cup of tea, you think you hear Parsemontret ask you something. You instinctively nod, and he begins pouring you more tea to your chagrin. You want to slap yourself for that, but you continue drinking. It happens a second time, and you begrudgingly drink another cup. The third and final time you catch yourself and shake your head 'no'. By the time you finish the third cup, you hear...

“Well, I hope you found my little explanation enlightening. Take care now!” he nods to you.

Ugh, that took forever, you complain to yourself. You think at least an hour has passed. “Um, yes. Thank you, sir,” you say as you begin to stand back up. You attempt to bow in gratitude, but that pressure in your belly stops you. You groan and stagger back upright.

Er, are you okay, lass?” Parsemonret asks.

Y-yes. My leg just fell asleep is all,” you explain to him, rubbing your leg.

Oh, and since you seemed to like the dandelion tea so much, if you’re looking for more of it, it’s not sold here, unfortunately,” he shrugs, “kind of a Lominsan thing, I suppose. Wouldn’t want you to come all the way out here for nothing later on.”

Darn,” you halfheartedly mutter, “thanks anyway.”

You shuffle your way back into the market entrance. Dandelion tea? Are you kidding me?

By the gods do you have to pee. At least you’ve only got one of Miounne’s tasks left to do.

 

What would you want to do?

1. Go to the Archer’s Guild
2. Explore Gridania
3. Look around for a restroom
4. Return to Carline Canopy
5. Other

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You grit your teeth. It’s just one more task, right? And whatever the Archer’s Guild wants couldn’t possibly take as long as that old man’s rambling did. They’ll probably just have you shoot a target a couple of times to make sure you know how to hold a bow. Then back to Mother Miounne! But if there were a privy somewhere along the way, you wouldn’t say no.

You continue back the way you came. The Ebony Stalls seem to have cleared out since you were last here. Some of the merchants try to call your attention as you walk by, but you brush them off. You don’t have time for that. Along the wall you see a shut door to your left, though upon closer inspection it seems to have a sign on it - “NO ENTRY”. Damn, it’s probably just a storage room. And with these vendors paying attention to you, you can’t exactly sneak in to make sure.

Back through the decorated cavern, down the valley to where the Archer’s Guild is. The valley opens up to reveal a larger wooden structure overlooking a lake. Red and black banners hang from an ornate arch shaped like a bow. A small archery range is to the right. Men and women with bows on their backs stand guard, dressed in brown and red armor. This is definitely the place. A few of the archers glance towards you as you stiffly walk into the structure, taking notice of your own bow and nodding to you.

You open the double doors into the guild and find yourself… in a lobby? A blond haired hyur woman stands at a long, wooden desk and you can already see where this is headed. The woman waves to you as you approach the desk.

“Hello,” you announce to her, “I’m Kathryn and I am looking to join the Archer’s Guild.”

“Mother Mio--” she starts to ask, but...

“Yes,” you answer before she even finishes asking, “er, sorry. A bit on edge after the last thing she had me do.”

“Understandable,” she says, giving you a patient smile, “Just head on into the next room and give your greetings to guildmaster Luciane. She’s the only one of us not wearing a white tunic.”

“T-thank you,” you stutter out. This is shaping up to be easy after all!

Through the door to the left of the desk is a novice range upon a raised platform. Guildmembers teaching each other how to hold a bow correctly. And leaning on the railing, looking over the entrance is the only person not wearing a white tunic. A tall, tanned elezen lady with blonde hair with a longer, blue tunic and thigh-high armored boots. The angle of your view shows you that she at the very least isn’t wearing leggings, but your height spares you from seeing any further up.

“Greetings,” Luciane says to you, “new recruit, I take it? Heh, of course you are. You’re back here, and I don’t recognize you. Welcome to the Quiver’s Hold! Before we go any further, I want you to tell me what archery means to you.”

“Er… It means shooting targets from a range, right? So you don’t take sword to the face,” you reply, giving her a nervous smile.

“Well, yes. Those are indeed all things archery can do… But now that you’ve joined up with us, you’ll learn even more about it. Strategy. Shoot your enemy in the leg to slow ‘em down. Poison your arrows to drain their strength. Hells, you could even launch an entire squad worth of arrows on your own.”

You feel like Luciane might be exaggerating an archer’s capabilities, but legshots and poisoned arrows seem delightfully devilish.

“But most importantly, an archer’s goal is to exploit weaknesses. Sniping down a key target at a crucial point could be all it takes to turn the tide of battle,” she explains. This is sounding great already. “And if you truly wish to join our ranks, I have but one test of skill for you.”

You nod.

“There’s a gate south of the Carline Canopy that leads out into the central parts of the Black Shroud. The Woodwailers have been having trouble with certain pests in the area trying to sneak their way into town. Use your bow and arrows and slay a few of them. Rodents, bugs, mushrooms, what have you. I’ll be out there, too, watching you do your thing. Any questions? Ms. ...?”

“Kathryn. And, I do,” you tell her. You take a few seconds to build up the courage to ask an embarrassing question: “d-does this place have a privy?”

“Oh, is that why you were fidgeting around?” she asks. You feel heat across your face. “Thought you were just nervous. Either way, the answer to your query is ‘no’.”

You can feel your eyelid twitching.

“The elementals are a fickle sort. Anger them and you’ll find yourself cursed. And unfortunately for us mortals, anything and everything we do could potentially anger them. What we kill to eat, which trees we cut to build our homes, and even where in the woods we’re allowed to do our business. Only privys they’d let us build are in the Carline Canopy and around the Amphitheater.”

You’re beginning to lament your choice of travel to Gridania.

“If nature’s calling, then go right on to the Canopy. I’ll bet out to meet you in the central Shroud. Take your time.”

Luciane jumps over the railing. You catch a flash of white between her legs and feel your face flushing more. She pats you on the shoulder and proceeds to exit, waving to the receptionist as she leaves.

You feel your knees buckling as the pressure in your bladder grows stronger.

 

 

What will you do now?

1. Hold it until your test is over. (Quickest method)
2. Go to the Carline Canopy. (Shorter distance, close to your destination)
3. Try to find the “Amphitheater”. (Longer distance, you don’t know where it is)
4. Test your luck and relieve yourself elsewhere. (A great way to get yourself cursed)
5. Other

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  • 2 weeks later...

Randomly generated coin flip determines that option 2 is the winner.

 

You decide that your bladder is probably going to throw off your aim. Next stop, the Carline Canopy. You begin to double back the way you came. Out the door to the Archer’s Guild. Back to the fork in the paths, and finally back to the Aetheryte Plaza. You shudder as the sounds of the brooks and waterwheels assault your ears. Making a left down the hill to the Canopy, you are pleasantly surprised to find it mostly empty.

Miounne and her associates are still at their respective desks. All but two of the tables in the room are empty. One table has a pair of guards playing an odd card game against one another. The other table has… The miqo’te who bumped into you earlier. They are sitting alone, with their hood over their face, placing it in shadow. A teacup is in front of them, and they appear to be wistfully staring into it.

But that’s irrelevant now. You approach Mother Miounne’s desk. She waves to you as you draw near.

“Welcome back, Ms. Kathryn,” she says with a smile, “have you completed your errands?”

“W-well, no,” you reply, stuttering.

“You need to use the privy then, I take it?”

You feel your face flush in embarrassment again, “y-you can tell?”

Well, yes... But that kid over there...” she points to the miqo’te. “I sent him on the same set of missions I gave to you. Came back half an hour later and begged me for the restroom.”

“Y-yeah. That Parsemontret guy offered me ‘dandelion tea’. Probably did the same for him, I guess?”

Ah. He’s pulling one of his little pranks on the guild newbies because they didn’t try bribing him with his favorite food.” she laughs, but quickly calms herself, “ah… My apologies. I don’t mean to derive humor from your situation. Parsemontret is just extremely petty, and that amuses me. In either case, the privy’s located in the inn. The Roost.”

She points to the rightmost desk, then to a small gate leading into a back area of the building.

It’s the only door back there that doesn’t have a peephole in the door,” she explains, then turns back to you and whispers, “And do try your damnedest to hold it in until you get there, alright? The lunch rush is already over, and I would appreciate not having another puddle to mop up.”

You nod as you make your way toward the inn rooms. Just as you’re about to go in, one of the guards angrily slams his hand into the table. You jump a bit in surprise, and turn to see the entire room staring at the guy.

“Er, sorry ‘bout that.”

You shake your head and continue on your way. This inn hallway is serene, decorated with plants and even a couple of fountains. Sure enough, at the far end of the hall, you see the privy. Halfway though the hall you notice that a part of the wooden floor is somewhat wet. Not slippery, but noticeable.

Pushing open the slightly-ajar door at the end of the hall, you find yourself in a small room containing only a few objects – A bucket with a mop inside, recently used. A small wall-fountain, seemingly used for hygiene purposes, and an unassuming metal chamber pot.

Closing and locking the door behind you, you set your bow against the wall, pull your shorts and undergarments to your knees and place yourself upon the iron throne. You relax and let your aching bladder empty into the chamber pot. You let out a long sigh of relief.

You redress yourself and clean your hands in the wall basin, and exit back out into the tavern hall of the Carline Canopy. You wave to Mother Miounne as you begin to leave, but you hesitate for a moment. Perhaps there’s something here you still want to do before you head out?

 

What will you do? (Pick up to 2)

1. Order a drink
2. Talk to the miqo’te
3. Find out what those guards are playing
4. Forget it, we’ve got an Archer’s Guild to join
5. Other

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  • 2 weeks later...

The dandelion tea had quickly made its way through you, leaving you just as thirsty as you were before you drank it. Before you head out, you decide that it would be imperative to have a less… volatile drink. You ask Mother Miounne for a drink before you head back out. She nods, pouring hot water from a kettle into a teacup and sliding it to you. You can see leaves at the bottom of the cup, slowly turning the water a dark green color. You’re hesitant to have any more tea after your ordeal today, but Miounne assures you that this tea won’t flow right through you.

Satisfied with that response, you bring the cup to your lips and imbibe its piping hot contents. Earthy, herbal, and a bit bitter. Not at all like the sweet taste of the dandelion tea, and much more relaxing to drink.

“This should counteract whatever was in that other tea,” Miounne explains to you, “hopefully.”

“Oh, and don’t worry about payment. You’re close enough to becoming an official Adventurer’s Guild member that I’ll let you off the hook for it,” she winks at you. You nod as you finish off the rest of your drink, sliding the cup back towards Mother Miounne.

As you begin to leave, the guards’ card game catches your eye once more. But you shake off your feeling of interest and continue onward. There’ll be time to learn about that later, you tell yourself.

 

Heading down the path and out the gate into the Central Shroud, you see Luciane leaning up against an oddly-placed wall segment just off the path – a bulwark.

“Oh, Ms. Kathryn, you’ve made it!” she calls out to you, “ready to get started?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be.”

“Then we shall begin your test. Your first target will be...” Luciane begins to drone off as she scans the area, “...Some beetles.” She points out a few rather large ladybugs scuttling in the grass.

Nodding to her, you retrieve your bow from your back and an arrow from your quiver, notch it, and draw the string back. Closing an eye, you take aim and let loose the arrow. FWIP!

The arrow pierces one of the bugs’ carapaces with a crack. You repeat the process twice more, impaling two other ladybugs on arrows. If there were any more around, they seem to have fled. Luciane claps for you.

“You seem to have aiming down just fine,” she says, walking over to your trio of beetle kebabs and inspecting them. “Let’s try something a little tougher.”

Luciane stares further into the woods, and seems to quickly identify your next target.

“Right there,” she points out a cat-sized squirrel. “Ground squirrels. They keep trying to get into the town to scavenge.”

Once more, you draw your bow. You take aim and… hit the beast right in its flank. It struggles for a few seconds before it stops moving forever.

“Amazing. You have not done training prior to this have you?”

“Nothing formal.”

“Hmm... Let us try something even more difficult,” she points to a strangely large but otherwise immobile mushroom, “see the mushroom there? Try to hit that.

“A mushroom?”

“Not just any mushroom, but… Well, you will see why I chose that.”

Shrugging, you notch yet another arrow and let it loose towards the mushroom. The arrow flies and embeds itself in the shroom’s cap. In response, the mushroom plumps up and uproots itself from the ground. You’re taken aback as it begins shuffling towards you with four groups of hyphae serving as arms and legs. You try to fire another arrow, but in your shock you miss the shot. The arrow stabs into the ground next to the mushroom.

 

Uh, oh. What do we do now?

1. Keep firing!
2. Try something else!
3. Run away!

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  • 2 weeks later...

You shake your head. Get yourself together, it’s a gods-damned mushroom, not a vicious beast. You notch another arrow and stick it to the creature, but it still isn’t deterred. Reaching out, the mushroom whips you across the legs with its arm. It’s surprisingly painful for an overgrown fungus.

Gritting your teeth through the pain, you launch another arrow. Striking the shroom once more, it begins to look a little shaky. You’ve got it on the ropes, you think.

The mushroom’s cap quivers and before you can react, a cloud of spores erupts from it. The cloud overwhelms you, sending you into a coughing fit. Unable to aim, you instead kick the creature as hard as you can. The kick sends it rolling a few feet, where it falls limp in the grass.

“Excellent work!” you hear Luciane shout.

You try to respond, but the spores are still irritating you. A few more coughs and some throat-clearing, and you’re good to go. “Thanks.”

“Sorry about not warning you about that funguar’s spores. Slipped my mind, but it’s not too bad. The ones nearest the city have the weakest poisons. Either way, you’ve passed. Welcome to the Archer’s Guild, Ms. Kathryn. Come, let’s head back.”

You nod. The two of you begin making your way back to Gridania. After taking a few steps, you begin to feel light-headed. You stumble and stop to regain your bearings. You think you hear Luciane say something, but it’s drowned out by a ringing in your pointed ears. Your legs begin to feel weak and your knees begin to buckle under the newfound heaviness of your body. Your vision blurs as you feel the world spinning around you. Then, everything goes black.

You awaken feeling a light tap on your face. As you open your eyes, you see Luciane hovering over you, holding an empty glass decanter. She’s lightly slapping your face with her free hand. She pulls her hand away as your eyes fully open.

“Oh, thank the twelve you’re alright!” she exclaims in relief, “I didn’t think the poison would have that big of an effect on you. Luckily for you, I keep anti-toxins on me whenever I take an applicant out into the field.”

She rattles the empty container joyfully.

You sit up. “How long was I out?” you ask.

“Thirty minutes, give or take? I administered the antidote ASAP, but it takes some time to kick in. Most of the poison should’ve been neutralized, but I’m going to take you to see the conjurers when we get back into town, alright?”

Luciane stands back up and offers her hand out to you. With her help, you are pulled back onto your feet. You still feel a bit woozy, but you think you can still walk.

“The conjurers?”

“Yes. The lot of nature-mages who heed the call of the elementals. They are the healers of this region, essentially. They cure more than just people, though.”

You continue your way back into town. Luciane leads you to the Aetheryte Plaza, and from there past a few more wooden structures – One with a water wheel, positioned over a shallow stream. The Carpenter’s Guild; and a fancy pavilion decorated with yellow banners, and filled with people in yellow longcoats and olive caps, The Order of the Twin Adders’ headquarters.

Past those buildings and into an area shaded by the trees, where you see a large brazier in front of an absolutely massive tree stump. Patches of flowers dot the land around the stump. Several blue-robed mages are in the area. Some are praying, others are talking to what you assume are pilgrims. Luciane leads you into an entrance carved into the stump. A path heads downward into the earth, lit by both magic lanterns and more traditional torches. You turn a corner to find yourself by a beautiful underground brook. Two waterfalls on the left and right sides, pouring from the cavern walls.

You feel a twinge in your bladder again. You hope this won’t take too long.

You and Luciane cross a bridge over the brook and through large double doors into a large, open room. A few robed persons are seated on the floor around a smaller figure seemingly lecturing to them. Too tall to be a lalafell, but too short to be anything else. Luciane brings you up to a receptionist off to the right.

“Greetings, Madelle. I have a request for you. Do you have a conjurer on duty right now who could purge a poison from my new recruit here?”

“Hm… Most of our mid-ranking members are on missions currently. I believe the Guildmaster is the only person here who could cast the spell at the moment.”

“Great. I see E-Sumi giving a sermon over there. Any clue on when he might be finishing?”

“The current sermon the Guildmaster is giving has but just begun. He should be finished in an hour or two.”

Luciane turns to you, shrugging

“Well… I didn’t expect it to be like this, to be honest. We can still wait for Guildmaster E-Sumi to finish up, or you can hope the poison wears off completely on its own. What do you want to do, Kathryn?”

 

What do you want to do?

1. Wait for healing
2. Leave and hope for the best

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  • 2 weeks later...

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