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Ashamed of my fetish, help?


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Hiya! So I'm just newly registered to this forum even though I have been reading these topics and stories for a quite a long time already. What I need right now is actual support, other people sharing thoughts of pee fetish and anything about it with me so I can slowly but surely change my point of view in all this. I do not wish to be as troubled with this topic as I have always been, especially now that my spouse is so perfect he is willing to join these fetish actions with me.

Short history: been into omorashi type of watching people hold, be desperate to pee or wet themselves since elementary school or so but always been deadly ashamed of it. Some weeks I would just try to ignore it, make it go away, google on how to get rid of a fetish, blaming and shaming myself for being this way, for feeling weird and dirty and abnormal.. It was hard to tell my spouse about this but I wanted to make real contact with him and hey here we are now, he finds aspects of the fetish he finds arousing too and wants to experiment and is open to try all kinds of things with me.

So everything is pretty much picture perfect now right?

Except that no because I'm still having extremely hard time accepting myself after all these years of hiding and being ashamed in which I hope to find help and support from you. In the potential wetting situations i'm hyper nervous and uncomfortable and awkward even though i know i want them to happen more than anything. So what I need is just pee(r) support (hehe) and stories of how you have overcome these sorts of doubts and fears and just embraced your fetish. Thank you so much for even reading this, means a lot ♥

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In my case, I was never really ashamed of my fetish. When I first got into Omo, I was quite young and didn't really question it. As I grew older, I started thinking about how I got the fetish and why I find it hot. I basically came to the conclusion that it wasn't really that strange as far as fetishes go.

As a general rule of thumb, my opinion is that anything that is a fantasy or stays between consenting adults is fair play and not "wrong". However, it is very difficult to control how we feel and what we are ashamed of.

I think you're making great headway into accepting this part of yourself; not only did you talk about this to your partner, you're also talking about it here. Speaking to people you can trust about your problems is a fantastic remedy; as if you keep your feelings bottled up they will eventually fester.

I would recommend that you also talk to your partner about this a little more. Not just that you find pee arousing, but also the shame you feel. Opening yourself in this way can be another step to acceptance.

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Thank you for such a reasonable and accepting reply, I appreciate everything you just said so much. This topic has always brought me a lot of worries even though I did not consider it as shameful and wrong when I was a kid either, but then something just happened on the way.

Writing here is a huge step for me as you said, for some reason I never even considered searching support from a like-minded community. I guess I saw it scary and such a big deal that would mean i'm admitting to myself that I have a pee fetish even though, as you stated, this is such an innocent fetish. 

Can I ask how you figured you originally got the fetish and what makes it hot for you? For me it's difficult to even begin to understand how the topics of seeing someone pee and sexual arousal can be linked this way. But then again human sexuality is a huge complex anyway so maybe it cannot even be understood, but anyway I'd like to hear your view if possible! Also fine if you don't want to answer, then I'll just thank you again for your meaningful message.

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Fetishes in and of themselves can bring shameful feelings. There is a moment in life that changed your wiring. It doesn’t mean that you are broken or damaged. All of us here have the same fetish, though different moments in our lives brought us here.

Yes, it is not socially acceptable to wet yourself. However, if you are participating in your fetish, just you or with the permission of others, and you aren’t hurting anyone, that’s okay. Don’t pee yourself on purpose in front of others to get a reaction. But if you wee yourself in your own space, that’s all you.

If you stand in your shower, in your underwear, and soak yourself, how are you hurting someone else? What shameful act are you committing?

I do understand the shame. I’m still ashamed when I have accidents (as I have incontinence issues,) but my fetish is part of my sexuality. It is part of who I am. I have a back story that got me here, and not all of it is good. I am who I am now, fetish included.

You are quite welcome here. Continue to do what feels good, as long as you don’t hurt anyone else.

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Most people have a particular 'take' on sexuality and ours is a fairly widespread one.  There is no more reason to be ashamed of it than there is of homosexuality or any other variation on 'standard' sex.  It would be a boring world if everybody was exactly the same!

You are lucky to have a partner who is at least willing to explore the subject with you and even if he/she eventually concludes that it is not for them, so be it.  You can still have a loving relationship together for the rest of your lives.

Be yourself!  Your sexuality is as valid as anybody else's.

 

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My parents found out about my fetish when they checked my browser history. My stepfather has called me a pervert, creep, and a pedophile. The pedophile thing was because he found out about it while my little sister was potty training(I assure you it happened before but he doesn’t believe me) He doesn’t trust me to babysit. He calls me unnatural for liking this (and several psychology websites say this fetish is unnatural often putting it somewhere around ten) I asked him to never tell anyone I wouldn’t tell which is basically everyone since I don’t know if they would accept it and I don’t feel like telling anyone. Recently his daughter (my stepsister) crashed her car and we had to drive her around. We went into a dollar general and he told my sister to hold my hand. I grabbed her hand and he started talking shit about how I was too forceful grabbing her hand. Then in his truck he still kept talking shit while I tried to not say anything. Eventually he started getting real close to this topic saying and I quote”and I can’t damn trust you with her with that fetish you have,” my stepsister asked what he was talking about. And he said I like watching little girls pee themselves which is wrong since I only read or watch videos of girls my age or older. Right there I had enough and I punched his face while he was driving. He can and would have kicked my ass if he wasn’t driving then my stepsister who was sitting in the middle of us punched my face and I hit her back. He parked and I hopped out the (not moving) truck so I wasn’t cramped with them anymore. He called the cops charging me for battery (The judge never put me in jail thank god)and the cops told him to take me to my grandmas in another county instead of taking me to jail. I knew this was a bad idea but the police gave me no other choice since it wasn’t their county. My stepfather took me to my grandmas house and my grandma said she couldn’t because she was dealing with my disabled family member. While there he said the exact same thing again and I yelled at him but didn’t hit him. The police think I’m in the wrong and I do admit to my share of the blame but what he did was also unacceptable. Things have calmed down now as that was a year ago and I don’t let that phase me and I want to be more of a presence on this website  then just a lurker.

But don’t let anyone put you down about what you like and keep on trucking ok.

 

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I felt ashamed of it for years. Occasionally I still feel a little bad about my fantasies. To the point I don't write stories anymore unless by request. (I was going to write one about Silverstream, and another about a couple peeing their wedding dress and suit during a wedding at a park with the bathroom out of order, since I know quite a few people are into both, but decided not to)

But remember that no one chooses their fetishes, they choose us, and as long as you're not forcing it on anyone there's nothing wrong with it. And it sounds like your husband's into it too and wants to do omo stuff with you, so you don't have to worry about him judging you for it.

Though several years ago I lurked on another omo site and heard people talk about how into wetting they were, it definitely made me feel a little better about it even though I didn't mostly embrace it until about a year ago. Maybe read more stuff people have to post (maybe even visit my "weirdest omo fantasies" thread here) and you'll see how many other people in the world have this fetish, in just about any form you can think of. Some of us, both male and female, even wet ourselves for fun.

And there are many types you don't have to feel bad about: Any fictional instance, or a real life instance where they don't mind it, or even enjoy it. Like a lot of the experiences here, even if they didn't enjoy it at the time they want us to, sometimes even think it'll make them feel better because something good came of it.

Edited by The Dark Wolf (see edit history)
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You've taken a brave AND helpful step by coming here — a place where it is safe to talk about this.

Fetishes are odd, and lots of them seem kind of absurd and unlikely. Even as someone who shares this one completely (from age 13) I find it QUITE absurd and unlikely that I want to be desperate and pee my pants like a little boy, and see it happen. (And some related things.)

If I could have chosen, I would have picked something more practical, that involves less laundry. ? 

There was nothing that caused me more embarrassment than "having an accident" when I was little. So much that I can still feel it. Why, of all things, would I ever want to relive that? The only advice I have for you, as someone who has been trying to make sense of this and also learning to enjoy it for many years … is to make friends, in a gentle, curious way with the part of you that has this fetish.

I've actually learned a whole lot by doing that, including humour, compassion for people's differences, some self-healing (of fairly mild and ordinary childhood traumas), and a bunch about human sexuality and psychology. You are VERY lucky to have a trusted and accepting partner to share that self-discovery with.

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Ahh I’m beyond grateful for all of you who have written their reply, there are so many good and assuring points of why this fetish and even committing real-life actions about it is everything but wrong. It’s true it doesn’t hurt anyone, if something it brings more pleasure for us. 

I do need to make friends with that part of me, yes, and I will keep on trying because this can be a great extra addition to one’s sexuality, a special kink that not everyone gets to enjoy! 

All in all speaking with you all makes me feel a whole lot better, so I can’t thank you enough for this warm welcome. I hope some more people withholding or denying themselves will find here and start the process of accepting themselves as they are ☺️

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I'm still getting comfortable myself with being open, at least with partners, about this. But, I have found that having a space like this site is incredibly helpful to getting comfortable with this fetish. A while back I stumbled upon someone who also shared omo as a fetish in a fandom on tumblr who was fairly open about their omo fantasies. I reached out and making a friend who was also into omo helped me feel more comfortable about being into omo. There are still days when I feel ashamed, but truthfully, if I'm only doing this with other consenting adults, it's doing no harm. Plus we're all having fun. I try not to get too caught up in the taboo part of it because tons of stuff used to be taboo and isn't now. Just because this fetish isn't widely discussed and accepted doesn't mean it's wrong, it just means that generally people don't know about it or understand it.

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We live in a challenging society around sexuality in the US, unfortunately. The reality is that humans are often sexual creatures, and we tend to sexualize everything under the sun. And we're not alone in this. Other social species - dolphins, crows, apes - all have super interesting sexual practices, sometimes ones that we would consider immoral if the same context were occurring within humanity.

I've been inside the kink/sex positive scene for a minute in my region of the world, and I will say this: Watersports, and even messing, are super tame kinks in the grand scheme of things. They're directly connected to the human body, easily reproducible, easy to engage in a relatively safe way, and far more common than I think a lot of people think. I've met people with balloon fetishes, met people into hefty domination/submission play, blood/piercing/knife play. I've ever met someone who has the tragic kink of pedophilia, and is trying to reconcile that with being a moral person. That is, they don't engage in it at all, they just have it. I'm sure those of us who felt like being into omo coming up can probably sympathize that sometimes you don't choose what you're into.

All of that is to say that from a bird's eye view, I really don't think there's much to be ashamed about here. As long as we're doing it in consensual, informed, intentional ways, I think this can be a beautiful way to deepen intimacy with partners. If you ever want some help in having that conversation, like how to ask and bring it up, I'm happy to share what's worked for me as well. The sex columnist Dan Savage has a really cool piece on fetishes and kink here: https://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?oid=118733

Some key points from it:

"On to your question: Where do you find a normal man? I have no fucking idea, as I've never met one. Kink and variance seem to be a natural, intrinsic aspect of male sexuality. And while most men, like your ex, fall on the mild end of the mild-to-wild continuum, if you can't handle the odd nonnormal sexual interest, FOG, I urge you to stop dating men, get a vibrator, and pack it in." The reality is that we're all freaks in some way. People without kinks are themselves most likely to be the outlier. There's a cognitive fallacy called the "lottery fallacy", which explains that sometimes we think that there must be some kind of intelligence out there in the universe because how else could this one in a trillion occurrence of fate happen in this exact moment? But that's just it: In a universe filled with trillions upon trillions of occurrences, of course we're going to experiences those one in a million happenstances. It would be far more noteworthy if they didn't happen. In a species whose psychology is so often so sexually driven, of course we're going to get some kinks. It's far more noteworthy when someone doesn't have any.

"Should your boyfriend have come clean about his foot fetish sooner? Sure, maybe a month or two earlier. But not because you had some right to know what a freak he was, FOG, but because it would have spared him from getting more emotionally invested in a freakishly petty and sexually immature dumbfuck." We should be open and honest about our kinks. Not out of entitlement to their fulfillment, but out of respect to our partners and ourselves. If we cannot trust our partners with this aspect of our humanity - one that deserves compassion, not shame - what does that say about how we hold our partners? About how we see ourselves? Honesty about what we're into isn't a demand on our partners to fulfill that for us. They may, or may not. But if they shame us? That gives quite a bit of useful information about whether or not they're worthy of your time.

You're human. We're beautiful creatures, and we can create beautiful things. And we also sweat, stink, excrete. We die. We rot. This is a part of who, and what, we are. You don't deserve to have your kink fulfilled, any more than anyone deserves sex, or impact play, or what have you. But you do deserve respect for merely existing. And you do deserve respect for having the vulnerability to be honest with yourself and others about this. All that said, no judgment about where your ability to do this is. Like I said, we live in a challenging world. All this is meant to say is this: I hear you, I see you, and you deserve no shame.

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I have to say, I've struggled with the same thing. I've been into peeing, and in particular, desperation, for as long as I can remember and its a massive secret, that I would be far to ashamed to talk about to anyone in real life. My browser history has almost caught me out a couple of times over the past few years, but I've always front it out. I was almost busted by a girlfriend a few years ago, but in questioning me I said I was just looking at all sorts of porn, and some watersports had cropped up. She was repulsed and said it was disgusting that anyone could ever be turned on by toilet things, so I just laughed and agreed. I have to say that sites like this are a huge help though. I have a completely different online persona and feel that I can be free to openly express what arouses me, even writing a few fictional stories (Many based on real events). I have messaged a number of people in this, and other similar communities, and found a group of normal people who are nothing but understanding (On the whole), feel free to message me if you'd like to chat further. 

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My 2c is that I feel you have to eventually learn to accept this aspect of yourself, instead of struggling to somehow get rid of it. In my case, I firmly believe my cause for being into this fetish (urophilia, or what some more consider to be waterspots) is because of a traumatic incident I experienced when I was younger. I am hardwired to feel sexual arousal when encountering anything that is relevant to it. With time, I've learned to accept that, and also learned to function normally despite it.

Any s/o you have that claims to love you should be able to accept this about you.

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I feel the same way, at least with respect to revealing this aspect of my sexuality to others. It's a catch-22: the closer I am to someone, the more I want to share my fetish with them, but the more afraid I am of a negative reaction. It's one thing to say that a significant other should accept you for who you are, and another to run the real risk of ruining an otherwise great relationship by bringing up omorashi (particularly when it's already hard enough to find someone you like and who likes you back).

I have no answers, but you are brave to have admitted your fetish to your spouse, and lucky that your spouse accepted it. 

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I'm brand new to this place too. I have felt very much how you do with my thing for this. Its just something that I have had NO ONE to talk to about it. Ive been way too ashamed and scared to. No one knows I have a thing for this. Im happy that there are so many on here that seem friendly in their posts as I have been browsing.

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Being unashamed of my fetish is not the same as telling all and sundry about it. I do so here because we all have the fetish in one way or another, and we all know it. I've pissed myself all my life and I will continue until I have to be showered by a nurse. I've wet 3 times this afternoon, for  instance, and will wet again later.  However, I have no intention of ever telling anyone unless there are hints dropped. The most common one I find, is saying she needs to pee but not going to the toilet. Even then, she has to be someone I'm interested in for other reasons. Or he, in some cases.

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On 7/20/2018 at 2:05 PM, letsgojose said:

Hiya! So I'm just newly registered to this forum even though I have been reading these topics and stories for a quite a long time already. What I need right now is actual support, other people sharing thoughts of pee fetish and anything about it with me so I can slowly but surely change my point of view in all this. I do not wish to be as troubled with this topic as I have always been, especially now that my spouse is so perfect he is willing to join these fetish actions with me.

Short history: been into omorashi type of watching people hold, be desperate to pee or wet themselves since elementary school or so but always been deadly ashamed of it. Some weeks I would just try to ignore it, make it go away, google on how to get rid of a fetish, blaming and shaming myself for being this way, for feeling weird and dirty and abnormal.. It was hard to tell my spouse about this but I wanted to make real contact with him and hey here we are now, he finds aspects of the fetish he finds arousing too and wants to experiment and is open to try all kinds of things with me.

So everything is pretty much picture perfect now right?

Except that no because I'm still having extremely hard time accepting myself after all these years of hiding and being ashamed in which I hope to find help and support from you. In the potential wetting situations i'm hyper nervous and uncomfortable and awkward even though i know i want them to happen more than anything. So what I need is just pee(r) support (hehe) and stories of how you have overcome these sorts of doubts and fears and just embraced your fetish. Thank you so much for even reading this, means a lot ♥

Hi Jose,

I certainly didn't tell my parents about my fetish - in fact I haven't discussed this with anyone outside of the internet (Isn't the internet great!) except for a couple of women whom I met in real life after first finding  them on the internet. I think that just because our fetish is pretty embarrassing (I suppose most fetishes are really) doesn't mean there is any reason to be ashamed of it. I certainly hope you do get over your sense of shame, because you are extraordinarily lucky to be able to share your sexy secret with your husband. I'd love to share omorashi with my partner, but I am certain she would not like the idea - so I don't.

Also, I don't know about you, but I don't discuss anything sexual outside of a relationship (or the internet!). I mean imagine telling your parents about liking oral sex - you just wouldn't I expect! I think omorashi is just another one of those private subjects

If you still keep feeling shame, and it troubles you, I suppose you could go and see a counsellor, but I have a nasty feeling she would simply try to talk you out of this fetish, which would be really unfortunate.

Maybe both of you could relax into this fetish (pun intended) by discussing your own fun right here on the forum.

Wet yourself for me sometime!

David

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On 7/20/2018 at 7:48 PM, letsgojose said:

Can I ask how you figured you originally got the fetish and what makes it hot for you? For me it's difficult to even begin to understand how the topics of seeing someone pee and sexual arousal can be linked this way. But then again human sexuality is a huge complex anyway so maybe it cannot even be understood, but anyway I'd like to hear your view if possible! Also fine if you don't want to answer, then I'll just thank you again for your meaningful message.

Oh shoot, missed this reply.

When I was still very young and was figuring out sexuality and myself, peeing and holding being hot just kind of came to me at the same time. At the time I didn't really think about it at all. I have always had a very strong bladder, and my own peeing and holding was not very exciting to me at the time. Since I never wet or got desperate ever really, there must have been some other cause, I figure.

Thinking back on it, it was probably tied to how closely peeing is tied to privacy and nakedness. Peeing requires you to remove your clothes to and make yourself fully vulnerable to do it, and so I think that's the connection my mind made back then. However, this is just pure speculation on my part - as there was no single event that got me into Omo, it just sort of gradually happened as my sexuality developed.

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On 7/20/2018 at 6:48 PM, letsgojose said:

Can I ask how you figured you originally got the fetish and what makes it hot for you? For me it's difficult to even begin to understand how the topics of seeing someone pee and sexual arousal can be linked this way. But then again human sexuality is a huge complex anyway so maybe it cannot even be understood, but anyway I'd like to hear your view if possible! Also fine if you don't want to answer, then I'll just thank you again for your meaningful message.

Many, many years ago, I used to watch cowboy and cop programs on my parents TV. Frequently people would be tied up (sometimes whole families would get this treatment) and be like that for hours. I started to imagine how one of them would feel if he/she needed to pee - the embarrassment peeing in front of others who were also tied up, and maybe watching the pee spread out to wet them too! I was probably only about 8 and I had no idea about sex.

By about 13, I became interested if girls, and I was fascinated that that very 'grown-up' activity felt very similar to the way I felt about wetting! Then I discovered an old pair of trousers and underpants, which I hid away and wetted when I had a bit of time alone in the house.........

I suppose it is hot because it is embarrassing, and a bit smelly, and very personal - it is hard to pin down really.

David

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