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I knew I followed you for a reason. Fantastic piece of work! The vocabulary was a little elevated at times, but it gave the sense that I was reading an omo piece from someone like Steinbeck.

One minor criticism I have is that you head-hopped: maybe not a mistake so much as a stylistic choice, but I thought it was weird that you gave us intimate POV looks at both Chase and Courtney. Sticking to him would have felt more natural to me.

But other than that, male stories are rare and this one in particular is just lovely. By how unique a character Chase is here, I'd be surprised if you hadn't been working on him for a long time, perhaps to use elsewhere.
 

Bravo! <33

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Great as always! You are my favourite omo writer, and I was so happy when i saw your new story. ? 

Chase was special for me, because he wasn't a typical good boy, but he was absolutely someone who can be liked. And I hope that once he will find a kind, cute girlfriend who will teach him how to behave. ?

thank you for writing this! ? 

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On 7/15/2018 at 8:58 PM, AliasnameTO said:

I knew I followed you for a reason. Fantastic piece of work! The vocabulary was a little elevated at times, but it gave the sense that I was reading an omo piece from someone like Steinbeck.

One minor criticism I have is that you head-hopped: maybe not a mistake so much as a stylistic choice, but I thought it was weird that you gave us intimate POV looks at both Chase and Courtney. Sticking to him would have felt more natural to me.

But other than that, male stories are rare and this one in particular is just lovely. By how unique a character Chase is here, I'd be surprised if you hadn't been working on him for a long time, perhaps to use elsewhere.
 

Bravo! <33

Thank you! You know, I don't always agree with your critiques (defensiveness, mostly, but also personal preference), but you are right on for the voice-switching. It wasn't even a stylistic choice as much as it was laziness. I realized it as I was writing it, but was too tired to do anything about it :/ And yeah, I'm obnoxiously anti-Whitman-esque in my vocab!

On 7/16/2018 at 12:52 AM, Melificentfan said:

I absolutely loved that story 

Thank you! I'm so glad you liked it.

On 7/16/2018 at 4:05 AM, Batman007 said:

The is a fantastic story, pls do more

Thank you so much! No more for these characters, but I have other ideas that I hope to write in a few weeks.

On 7/16/2018 at 2:09 PM, Pilly Christal said:

Great as always! You are my favourite omo writer, and I was so happy when i saw your new story. ? 

Chase was special for me, because he wasn't a typical good boy, but he was absolutely someone who can be liked. And I hope that once he will find a kind, cute girlfriend who will teach him how to behave. ?

thank you for writing this! ? 

Thank you so much! The characters and setup were all Lion1423's idea, so I can't take credit for them :) 

On 7/16/2018 at 2:59 PM, Lion1423 said:

It's awesome! Even better than I could of hoped for. I like Chase's characteristics, too.

Oh, I'm so glad you liked it!! I definitely felt like I was taking some liberties with your idea, so I'm happy you enjoyed the final product!

On 7/16/2018 at 3:16 PM, Manowar said:

Very good. What more could I add...

Thank you so much!

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