Guest Posted May 15, 2018 Share Posted May 15, 2018 According to Wikipedia, Cybersex is sex online (like if you jerk off on facetime or something). If someone did this before having real sex, would you still consider them a virgin? The line seems a little blurred. In my opinion, cybersex is not the same as real sex and the person previously mentioned would still be a virgin. Link to comment
BENAir01 601 Posted May 15, 2018 Share Posted May 15, 2018 In my opinion, it is not loosing your virginity. Link to comment
Brittanybunny 1,494 Posted May 16, 2018 Share Posted May 16, 2018 No, its not, its not the same as loosing it for real Link to comment
Anubis 714 Posted May 17, 2018 Share Posted May 17, 2018 No, it's not unfortunately, but one can always hope... Luckily my virginity is already gone, so no need to worry about it, hehe. thereaverofdarkness 1 Link to comment
roseleaks89 39 Posted May 19, 2018 Share Posted May 19, 2018 Virginity is a social construct that was historically used to devalue women and is still used to shame them/shame men who haven't lost it. The short answer is: you're a virgin as long as you feel like one. I used to have this debate with people who said I was still a virgin after having sex with my first girlfriend (I'm also a girl). They all said I was still a virgin because I hadn't been penetrated by a man yet. But for me (at the time) it was significant that she was my first, so that's how I've always thought of it. If you've had cybersex and reached orgasm and want to consider that losing your virginity - great! You did! If you don't want to, then you didn't. Whichever experience you give value to is what really matters. Neko-kun, thereaverofdarkness, Anubis and 2 others 5 Link to comment
facade 1,947 Posted May 19, 2018 Share Posted May 19, 2018 You are a virgin until you have had sexual intercourse. For women this requires their hyman to break. Gabby Jay, Bursting_Baby, Ashi and 1 other 2 2 Link to comment
Brittanybunny 1,494 Posted May 20, 2018 Share Posted May 20, 2018 (edited) On 5/18/2018 at 11:31 PM, facade said: You are a virgin until you have had sexual intercourse. For women this requires their hyman to break. Dont know why that is downvoted, its not a lie, to many cultures this is the way girls lose their virginity, if you are a lesbian thats another story, if you are gay thats another story, but cyber sex is not losing your virginity, thats like saying if you masterbate you are suddenly not a virgin Edited May 21, 2018 by Brittanybunny Spelling error (see edit history) LoadedMink 1 Link to comment
BENAir01 601 Posted May 20, 2018 Share Posted May 20, 2018 2 hours ago, Brittanybunny said: Dont know why that is downvoted, its not a lie, factually speaking, this is the way girls loose their virginity, if you are a lesbian thats another story, if you are gay thats another story, but cyber sex is not loosing your virginity, thats like saying if you masterbate you are suddenly not a virgin Actually, it’s possible for the hyman to break before sex it to not break during sex, in fact very easy, so technically that means you could “lose your virginity” before even having anything uo your vagina, or you could have what we’d call sex and technically not lose your virginity, so I’d argue that that’s not a surefire way of saying whether virginity has been lost or not and therefore not true. roseleaks89 1 Link to comment
Neko-kun 31 Posted May 21, 2018 Share Posted May 21, 2018 (edited) Your hymen doesn't have anything to do with your virginity. If it is intact, vaginal penetration will likely tear it. That's the closest relation a hymen has to virginity. In terms of when a person would consider themselves no longer a virgin in my opinion would be any physical sexual intercourse. Edit: In fact I think it's a little funny that you mention that masturbation doesn't equal losing your virginity but tearing your hymen does because I know several women who tore their hymen masturbating. I also know one who tore it horse riding. I've heard of others tearing theirs during athletic stuff too. Edited May 21, 2018 by Neko-kun (see edit history) thereaverofdarkness 1 Link to comment
facade 1,947 Posted May 21, 2018 Share Posted May 21, 2018 I can't believe it wasn't obvious that I meant sexual intercourse and hyman breakage. LoadedMink and Ashi 2 Link to comment
Neko-kun 31 Posted May 21, 2018 Share Posted May 21, 2018 The fact you take time to state hymen breakage as some significant factor in losing virginity is what's bizarre. Link to comment
facade 1,947 Posted May 21, 2018 Share Posted May 21, 2018 (edited) 21 minutes ago, Neko-kun said: The fact you take time to state hymen breakage as some significant factor in losing virginity is what's bizarre. I don't see why it isn't a significant factor. Edited May 21, 2018 by facade (see edit history) Link to comment
Neko-kun 31 Posted May 21, 2018 Share Posted May 21, 2018 On 5/19/2018 at 2:31 AM, facade said: You are a virgin until you have had sexual intercourse. For women this requires their hyman to break. So you're saying that when a woman participates in anal sex with an intact hymen she is still a virgin? Or is the hyman irrelevant? Link to comment
facade 1,947 Posted May 21, 2018 Share Posted May 21, 2018 Just now, Neko-kun said: So you're saying that when a woman participates in anal sex with an intact hymen she is still a virgin? Or is the hyman irrelevant? I suppose it depends how you're defining virgin. Maybe I see anal sex as just a type of sex act and not intercourse. LoadedMink 1 Link to comment
Neko-kun 31 Posted May 21, 2018 Share Posted May 21, 2018 Just now, facade said: I suppose it depends how you're defining virgin. Maybe I see anal sex as just a type of sex act and not intercourse. We're getting to where I can almost understand your point of view, however in this sense a lesbian woman with an intact hymen would also be a virgin, despite any sexual act she may have performed? Is this correct? I don't agree with you but I appreciate being able to understand what you're saying. Link to comment
facade 1,947 Posted May 21, 2018 Share Posted May 21, 2018 15 minutes ago, Neko-kun said: We're getting to where I can almost understand your point of view, however in this sense a lesbian woman with an intact hymen would also be a virgin, despite any sexual act she may have performed? Is this correct? I don't agree with you but I appreciate being able to understand what you're saying. A virgin by medical standards, yes. Link to comment
Neko-kun 31 Posted May 21, 2018 Share Posted May 21, 2018 (edited) 4 minutes ago, facade said: A virgin by medical standards, yes. I don't think there is a medical standard for virginity but they do count oral sex, as well as anything that swaps or comes in contact with sexual fluids, as sexual activity. Once again unrelated to the hymen. Edit: Originally wrote 'intercourse,' changed to 'sexual activity' for clarity. Edited May 21, 2018 by Neko-kun (see edit history) Link to comment
facade 1,947 Posted May 21, 2018 Share Posted May 21, 2018 1 minute ago, Neko-kun said: I don't think there is a medical standard for virginity but they do count oral sex, as well as anything that swaps or comes in contact with sexual fluids, as intercourse. Once again unrelated to the hymen. I wasn't aware of that, but I was slowly coming to the conclusion that perhaps my definition is incorrect. It just seemed to make the most sense to me. thereaverofdarkness and Ashi 2 Link to comment
Neko-kun 31 Posted May 21, 2018 Share Posted May 21, 2018 1 minute ago, facade said: I wasn't aware of that, but I was slowly coming to the conclusion that perhaps my definition is incorrect. It just seemed to make the most sense to me. I really appreciate your conversation on this. It means a lot to me in a world where people are unwilling to change perspectives that you're just having a real talk about something with me who is just a random guy on the internet really. So thank you. Link to comment
facade 1,947 Posted May 21, 2018 Share Posted May 21, 2018 17 minutes ago, Neko-kun said: I really appreciate your conversation on this. It means a lot to me in a world where people are unwilling to change perspectives that you're just having a real talk about something with me who is just a random guy on the internet really. So thank you. Thanks for noticing that too. I guess I can be a bit old fashioned on some things. Neko-kun 1 Link to comment
Neko-kun 31 Posted May 21, 2018 Share Posted May 21, 2018 Sometimes it just takes some help to see a new perspective. I still totally agree that cyber sex is more like mutual masturbation. Link to comment
Brittanybunny 1,494 Posted May 21, 2018 Share Posted May 21, 2018 (edited) I agree with facade that thats just what a lot of people think in general think, we were talking about sexual intercourse and hymen breaking which is what many tie it all to, and why i said if you are a lesbian or gay, its another story, what i meant was that hymen breaking to many, including myself is loosing virginity when its physical intercourse only, if you loose your hymen by a sex toy or masterbating it does not count Edited May 21, 2018 by Brittanybunny (see edit history) LoadedMink and Neko-kun 1 1 Link to comment
Neko-kun 31 Posted May 21, 2018 Share Posted May 21, 2018 I agree that the old and common perception of virginity is what is stated but I don't think it is accurate. I also don't agree with the idea that there are somehow different virginity rules for queer people. A virgin as a concept is what you are before you've had sex. If the same act counts as losing your virginity if you're queer but not if you're straight, then that idea is bogus. Which ever way you want to see it should apply equally to all people. Link to comment
SpaceWonderer 699 Posted May 21, 2018 Share Posted May 21, 2018 To be honest I really never understood why losing virginity is such a big deal in our society, like it makes someone a different person or gives a level up, lol. But back to topic, of course not, you can't lose virginity by engaging in cybersex. Perhaps in our days we can make a separate definition of cyber-virginity if it really matters for anyone? Link to comment
roseleaks89 39 Posted May 21, 2018 Share Posted May 21, 2018 1 hour ago, facade said: I wasn't aware of that, but I was slowly coming to the conclusion that perhaps my definition is incorrect. It just seemed to make the most sense to me. I appreciate you realizing that others could have different definitions, which really gets back to what I was initially saying. The concept of virginity was created and then defined as meaning something specific, and as society changes so do our definitions of socially constructed concepts like "virginity." Yes, breaking a hymen through intercourse can be one way of losing virginity. But there are lots of other ways to break one's hymen that don't include intercourse. As was previously mentioned by brittanybunny, this doesn't work for gay men and lesbian women (and other versions of queer folks who may engage in sexual acts with a partner who has genitalia similar to their own). So what then becomes the standard? Sexual acts that end in orgasm? Surely not, or there are many married women who have never lost their virginity (which obviously isn't true). I think the better question to ask here is why we still assign some semblance of importance to virginity? What role does it actually play in today's society? historically it was used to assess a woman's worth - she was only chaste and virtuous if a virgin. But does engage in anal and/or oral sex while remaining a "virgin" really make someone virtuous? And why does "virtue" matter at all? I guess I've only said all this to repeat my earlier statement - virginity means whatever the individual wants it to mean. If it is something you value, then by all means, continue to do so. I'm not here to change someone's value system. But let each individual define it for themself and decide how much they do or don't care about whether they're still a virgin or not rather than attempting to force someone to take up your personal definition as their own (and this "your" isn't directed at anyone in particular, just the general you). Anubis 1 Link to comment
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