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11 hours ago, Night Rain said:

Does Sonata not have really good bladder control. Or is it that she gets caught up in other activites that makes her tend to have accidents a lot?

I don't know if you take suggestions but I wouldn't mind seeing Luna wet her cheerleader outfit or sonata but back in diapers for a chapter.

I suppose it is never really stated in specifics but rather implied.

For those readers who got lost in my rather rambling fantasy weaving, here's basically how things went down:

1) In Chapter I an unfortunate combination of decisions and circumstances leads to the twins Sonata and Mox stuck in a situation with full bladders and no restroom.

2) In Chapter II there's a scene depicting a meeting of higher ups at a company mentioning a universal update for the helmets with some sort of mysterious side effect that no one in the story is aware of.

3) After this scene Sonata keeps finding that bladder fills awfully fast. And its not just her, its (almost) every female across the nation that falls within an unspecified age range. The entire rest of the story thus far involves various people trying to cope with the sudden change that no one (in the story) can explain.

 

As for depicting scenes like those suggested, the story has moved from the real world to the game. The former scene would have to appear in some sort of flashback/side story or waaaaaayyy later. The latter is unlikely for Sonata, but not out of the question for some of the other characters.

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Author's Note:

I wasn't sure how expository to be when doing this section. If I wrote as detailed as I have in the past, this could have easily been 5 chapters in length. I may not be an old dog, but I still have difficulty learning new tricks.

Chapter VIII: Stream Dream Team

The cloak unfurled revealing a slightly gray tinged face and leather armor common among most of the games players. A cape of feathers covered the mystery player’s back. Yellow eyes gleamed in the shad of their hood as they hurled a barrage of feathers like shurikens. The large feathers pierced through the surprised leader before sticking in the ground tens of feet away. As abruptly as they had appeared, the feathers suddenly returned to their owner’s outstretched hand piercing the leader again on their way back.

KillSpeak dove sideways, firing his crossbow at the nearest assailant only to watch as his arrow ricocheted harmlessly off the opponent’s shield. The magic missile that followed however did succeed in knocking the assailant back. A white glow surrounded KillSpeak’s party, a divine buff from the paladin who was undoubtedly shielding the cleric.

This was the strength of KillSpeak’s party. Each of them was a streamer from another game. KillSpeak, the marksman, was from Counter Strike: Space Colonies. Their paladin, L’Rouche, was from World of Warcraft. Jack, the cleric, was a support main from Dota 3. The fighter, Yod4, was from Lightblade. BloodPetal, the mage, was another Counter Strike player. Viewers called them the Stream Dream Team, with most followers of any Realms Uncharted players by far.

But despite their pedigrees, he had no confidence they would all emerge from this fight alive. After all, the enemy leader was right. Their player skill and level lead would only account for so much. If they tried to fight it out, they would undoubtedly die. Fortunately, they didn’t have to fight it out. All they had to do was make it to the village.

Easier said than done when they were practically sitting ducks. A rain of fire and hail had already eaten a chunk out of their hit points and the fight had barely just started. Yod4 ran forwards cutting down a few arrows before being frozen solid. But the freeze went away almost immediately as Jack cleansed him of the cc.

The party surged forwards. Hit points blinked red warnings, but thanks to Jack and L’Rouche everyone managed to stay alive as they crossed the no pvp threshold into town.

Only then did everyone notice that BloodPetal was missing. The green furred mage was nowhere to be seen, just the fifteen now heavily damaged player killers that had assaulted them.

Heavily damaged? That didn’t seem right. Their party had been spamming mostly crowd control and support abilities. There had been that mysterious cloaked player with the feathers, but surely they couldn’t have done so much damage alone. And what happened to BloodPetal?

<=>

BloodPetal reluctantly gulped down the potions. Her hit points were restored which was a good thing. The liquid intake was a bad thing. Especially since she already needed to go quite badly. Her viewers knowing she was on her way to the restroom was one thing. Her viewers watching her squirm about like a little kid was quite another.

For the moment she was fine. But it would be best to get to a restroom sooner rather than later. Bloodpeta looked at her saviors. One of them was another fox person with thick snow white fur and two short swords. The other was of some other race with slightly gray tinged skin and magenta feathery hair and slender limbs. Her fingers clutched the roots of several wickedly sharp feathers.

Both of them seemed significantly younger than her 25 years of age, especially given their height, but then again characters could be misleading.

So you’re BloodPetal,” the fox person sheathed her swords. “I’m Sonata.”

“Wait, Sonata?” The feathered person’s eyes widened. “Sis?”

Who is my favorite pro player?”

“Troubling Rain.”

“Holy... Mox?!”

The feathered person chirped and hugged Sonata hard. BloodPetal looked from one to the other, her chat filled as her head was with endless question marks.

Who is she?”

“My sister. In real life.”

We did it!” Mox threw her hands up and mimicked a high five with empty air. The action only confirmed Sonata’s suspicion that Mox had been using the same method she did, enlisting the help of her viewers.

So are you two gamers?” asked BloodPetal curiously.

“I used to play Rift. The pc version,” admitted Mox.

“I play all sorts of stuff, but not much,” added Sonata.

What about you?”

“I’m a Counter Strike streamer. Or… was… I guess.”

How cool.”

Mox beckoned the others closer and whispered conspiratorially. “I need to use the restroom.”

“Me too, we should get moving.” BloodPetal didn’t bother to keep her voice down. After all, the uncomfortable part had already been stated too quietly for the listeners to hear.

<=>

Sonata stopped, ears twitching. “Do you hear that?”
“Hear what?”

“Footsteps.” Silence reigned as they listened intently. BloodPetal was growing very uncomfortable, but she remained stoic. She wished they could go back to chatting to take her mind off of her need. Suddenly Mox hurled a feather upwards eliciting a yelp. BloodPetal reacted immediately firing a magic missile. The projectile arced underneath a branch making contact with something on top of it.

That something fell to the ground with a cry of “They’re over here!”

“Shit.” The party of three booked it. Behind them came a distant stampede of feet.

BloodPetal had to run to keep pace with Sonata’s quick jog. Mox was sprinting pell-mell, panting fit to burst. BloodPetal would have found the stark contrast in effort just to move the same speed quite funny if she wasn’t concerned about dying. Figuratively speaking.

“New plan. You two head for the town.”

“What about you?”

A sly grin crossed Sonata’s face. “Who all is watching right now? Get ready to queue ‘Yakety Sax’.” Before either of her companions could comment, she sprinted straight towards the pursuers like a bullet.

<=>

On the upside, there were no signs of the others. On the downside, they had a ways to go to get to town. BloodPetal wasn’t taking quite as big steps anymore. Partly to maintain a comfortable pace for Mox, partly because her bladder was protesting.

“So what race are you?” asked BloodPetal curiously.

“Hm?” Mox tilted her head upwards exposing a delicate jaw. She seemed a little distracted, constantly twirling the feathers that she appeared to conjure out of thin air with her fingers. “Oh, I’m a Vastayan, same as you.”

“Wait, what? But I’m a fox person.”

“Exactly. We’re descendants of the ancient Tribe of Vastaya, shape shifters who used the mana of this plane to adopt the form of animals.”

“Then shouldn’t we be one race?”

“The tribe was crushed and the art of shape shifting lost. The survivors formed communities of around others similar to themselves.”

“This wasn’t all in character creation was it?”

“No, the village elder told me after a quest I did for him. How far is the town?”

“Not that far, we’ll be there soon.”

Ten minutes later they were approaching the edge of town. BloodPetal’s thighs were practically glued together, which made walking awkward. She still managed a smooth stride, holding up admirably. Mox was obviously far worse with a hand resting on her stomach as she took shaky, faltering steps. BloodPetal could have sworn she saw her companion of circumstance give herself a quick squeeze between the legs.

“Sorry, we don’t serve your kind here.” The store employee didn’t take Mox’s money. “You’ll have to try elsewhere.”

After fifteen minutes of waiting in line, BloodPetal was extremely stiff. She stood with her legs crossed, arms resting at hip level. But she was still in control. During those same fifteen minutes, Mox had been bobbing, pacing, lifting her leg like a flamingo. The entire time her face was red as a lobster, eyes monitoring the line as she willed it to move faster.

“What? No way!” This time BloodPetal was certain she saw Mox give herself a squeeze between the legs as she stepped frantically in place.

“Even if she’s a friend of mine?” asked BloodPetal casually.

The employee nodded her head seriously. “We don’t serve outsiders here. No vampires, no elves, no humans, nobody who isn’t from this village.”

“Even to use the restroom?”

“Even to use the restroom.” The employee’s apologetic and sympathetic look was at complete odds with the hard line she had drawn in the sand. “You could try the inn.”

“Where’s the inn?”

“I’ll take you.” BloodPetal stepped out of line and grabbed Mox’s hand. “You can keep the fee,” she told the shop employee as the two of them ran off.

“Why are you going so far to help me?” asked Mox. She had to pause for a moment, eyes squeezed shut as she rocked from one foot to the other.

“I don’t know. I guess cause I owe you one.” If she was being honest, BloodPetal was just rationalizing. She hadn’t really made a decision, she’d acted on impulse. “For saving me and all.”

By the time they reached the inn Mox was clearly running on adrenaline. Both her hands grabbed between her legs for all she was worth as she hobbled after BloodPetal who was fidgeting quite badly, occasionally bobbing herself.

And then they saw the line. There was no way Mox was going to be able to wait through it. BloodPetal turned to her companion only to find her trudging determinedly into the inn proper. Curious, BloodPetal followed after.

“C’mon I got us a room.” Mox handed her a key.

“Us?”

“Do you want to wait in that line? I can’t and I don’t think I can unlock the door like this.”

They went up to the room. BloodPetal held the door open for Mox who doubled over as soon as she entered.

“I-I can’t!” Mox jumped like a cricket before sinking to her knees. Her entire body shivered. A telltale trickling sound filled the room as clear liquid pooled around her seated form.

Now that they were safely in one of the game’s private spaces, BloodPetal allowed herself the luxury of running to the bathroom, dancing in front of the toilet as she undid her belt before yanking her gear off with brute force and collapsing backwards onto the seat.

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That was a pretty good chapter. Good that the sisters already met up. Really liking the story so far. That said... I'm starting to get a little lost with all the characters. Its easy when you only have a couple to worry about, but there are a lot being introduced.

Maybe you could utilise a technique they use in Novels/LN's which is to have a simple index write up every so often (every couple pages or whenever a bunch of characters are revealed) that contains the players name (if revealed), their character name and (maybe) a simple description of them? Just something to help keep track.


Either way. Great story, looking forward to the next chapter!

Edited by Rinatro (see edit history)
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1 hour ago, Rinatro said:

That was a pretty good chapter. Good that the sisters already met up. Really liking the story so far. That said... I'm starting to get a little lost with all the characters. Its easy when you only have a couple to worry about, but there are a lot being introduced.

Maybe you could utilise a technique they use in Novels/LN's which is to have a simple index write up every so often (every couple pages or whenever a bunch of characters are revealed) that contains the players name (if revealed), their character name and (maybe) a simple description of them? Just something to help keep track.


Either way. Great story, looking forward to the next chapter!

True that. I keep having to go back to previous chapters just to check what details I gave characters in the past. I'll probably begin doing write-ups that include a character list and story summary. Not sure how often I'll do them, probably now is a good time before we find out exactly what happened to Sonata.

 

4 hours ago, Night Rain said:

Will we see a return to the real world in a later chapter?

Maybe. I like to plan out the giant, overarching plot but leave everything else open ended.

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I see a Xayah homage and potentially room for an Ahri one as well. I just hope we don't see a demon spawn hamster leaving a minefield of mushrooms for the protagonists to navigate through.

Character introduction is happening a little rapid, though, so it's kind of hard to keep up.

It's got a slightly confusing pace, but it's a good read nonetheless. Looking forward to the next chapter.

Edited by Imouto Bouquet (see edit history)
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20 hours ago, Imouto Bouquet said:

I see a Xayah homage and potentially room for an Ahri one as well. I just hope we don't see a demon spawn hamster leaving a minefield of mushrooms for the protagonists to navigate through.

Character introduction is happening a little rapid, though, so it's kind of hard to keep up.

It's got a slightly confusing pace, but it's a good read nonetheless. Looking forward to the next chapter.

Glad someone got it. It did somewhat sadden me when they changed Ahri's back story in order to fit her into the broader lore. The same thing happened to Galio although to be fair I agree that his change was for the better.

The rapid character introduction was an issue that I foresaw, but came up with no solution for that wouldn't compromise the change in writing style I have been pursuing. The problem is mostly that there were two casts to introduce, the cast of the real world and the cast of the game. The way I should have done it would have been to directly start in the game which cuts down on the total number of characters significantly. However, starting in the game would leave the story full of holes, holes that I did not intend to actually be mysterious or confusing. Thus I decided to start in the real world and try to incorporate enough action not to have everyone leave as what inevitably happened with every other story I ever started. For the foreseeable future, there actually should be no new (major) character introductions in the upcoming chapters, the initial party has gathered.

That's the unfortunate result of my writing style being in direct conflict with the way I'm trying to write now. I have always had a tendency to ramble, to spend far too long describing things that really ought to only take a single sentence. Readers on this site have not taken well to normally rambling, glacial plot development and so I put the petal to the metal.

17 hours ago, Night Rain said:

If they do return it'd be nice as it'd balance out the story a little but that's up to you.

I actually was writing a story more along the style you describe. Over on Royal Road I had a fiction about a girl who went to a school specifically designed for up and coming professional gamers. But that story was discontinued due to lack of interest. The idea with this one was to establish the plot early while throwing around enough action to not leave everybody bored. The rest of the story is mostly just good ole hack and slash adventure with less of the elaborate world building so pervasive in my other writings.

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23 hours ago, Night Rain said:

Its not that I don't mind the action and everything. Going on right now and I wouldn't say I am bored. I would just have liked to have seen accidents in both worlds and some other stuff.

Do you remember the name of the story you mentioned?

The one on Royal Road or the ones I had here?

The one I had on Royal Road was Astralis Lumen. (Which roughly translates to 'Stars' Light' in Latin.)

The ones I have (had?) here are:

Star Wars: Galactic Storm (This one got a decent reception, but I got a job in the middle of writing it and completely lost my train of thought. The plot was too vague although I have some ideas how I would continue it if I ever went back.)

Starlight (No interest from anyone. Well, except for the ever encouraging MelificentFan who is a great contributor to writers on this site. It greatly saddened me that with the large number of RWBY fans on the site, no one actually commented on the RWBY reference although I'm betting almost no one bothered to read that far. Also, the reference was more of a scene and wasn't explicitly stated before the story was discontinued.)

Linked Future (A Yugioh based fiction that had a pretty decent initial reception. I also have ideas for how I would continue this one.)

A New Sword (Almost no interest from readers)

A Story With Zombies In It. (My very first topic post from over half a decade ago.)

 

Edited by Unbeknownst
Forgot a thing. (see edit history)
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