Jump to content
Existing user? Sign In

Sign In



Sign Up

euphemisms for masturbation


Recommended Posts

  • 2 weeks later...

I'm fat and single. That means I'm an expert at whipping cream.

Primp the shrimp, jam the ham, brief to the relief, knead the seed, exorcise/exercise the devise, inflate/deflate the soul mate, bless the distress (or bless what is less, for smaller guys).

Take a 30-second break, take a vacation on Banana Islands, take a front crap, take an anti-drink of un-water. ANNIHILATE THE FUTURE GENERATIONS.

And my personal favourite: Change the location of your brain.

Link to comment

This subject always reminds me of when I was 13, I was playing an MMO with some friends when one of them suddenly logged out.

 

Me: where'd friend 1 go?

Friend 2: he's touching off

Me: (being a confused 13 year old) eh?

Friend 2: having a handy shandy

Me: ...?

Friend 2: squirting the worm

Me: (it finally clicks) OH

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...

Had a really confused discussion with my fiancé about "rubbing one out".

To her, the "one" that is rubbed out is ejaculation. So, unless you are a woman who reliably squirts every time, it refers to male masturbation.

To me, it is neutral, and works no matter the parts you have, because the "one" that is rubbed out, is an orgasm.

I like rubbing one out.

I mean, who doesn't. What I mean is: I like "rubbing one out".

Edited by randomkath (see edit history)
Link to comment

I've heard many different euphemisms for masturbation... It's quite fun thinking them up. Only a few come to mind at the moment, but a few good ones are...

Male: Jerkin' the gherkin, polishing the pork-sword, charming the one-eyed snake...

Female: Polishing the pearl, nudging the nub, riding with han[d] solo, toying with the taco, sticking the hand in the honeypot, tending the axe wound, meeting the man in the canoe, and a few more that escape me at present.

It's always great when a good one pops into mind. Tends to give me the giggles. (which, given my mind, ends up getting me strange looks when my scattered brain pops out good innuendo while I'm in public.)

Link to comment
  • 2 months later...
  • 5 weeks later...
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...