Gabby Jay 211 Posted December 29, 2017 Share Posted December 29, 2017 There are many euphemisms for masturbation my personal favorite is "fiddle the flesh flute". But I'm tired of saying that so I'm looking for some fresh unique ones. Link to comment
OmoCommando 38 Posted December 30, 2017 Share Posted December 30, 2017 Choke the chicken, shimmy the shaft, pound the pipe, doodle the noodle, grab the gift, pound the porker, dazzle the ding-dong, mince the meat. RDFan2020 1 Link to comment
KozmoFox 5,644 Posted December 30, 2017 👮 Moderator Share Posted December 30, 2017 Milk the eel, flog the one eyed snake, make the bald man cry, skin the sausage hanpi 1 Link to comment
HPattern 192 Posted December 30, 2017 Share Posted December 30, 2017 What do you do when you wanna switch things up? Have a one night stand with your opposite hand. It's late, that's all I got... CaptainCranberry, Anubis and RDFan2020 3 Link to comment
Nikeryda 181 Posted December 30, 2017 Share Posted December 30, 2017 I have the perfect video. https://youtu.be/Oz0ClMzhkAk?t=8m19s thereaverofdarkness 1 Link to comment
Lisk 932 Posted December 30, 2017 🌟 OmoOrg VIP Share Posted December 30, 2017 Reload your shotgun, son. Link to comment
Canticle Natura 239 Posted December 30, 2017 Share Posted December 30, 2017 (edited) 1 hour ago, Lisk said: Reload your shotgun, son. Edited December 30, 2017 by Canticle Natura (see edit history) WettingFan91, hanpi, Omorashi.toxic and 3 others 6 Link to comment
Temporary-O5 90 Posted December 30, 2017 Share Posted December 30, 2017 I mean, there is plenty of great ones already, so mine may pale in comparison, but you all can be the judge of that. Kickstart the engine or play the organ. Link to comment
Gabby Jay 211 Posted December 31, 2017 Author Share Posted December 31, 2017 I like make the bald man cry, that might work. Link to comment
DrBorderline 324 Posted January 1, 2018 Share Posted January 1, 2018 "Playing in offline mode" is one I think can work for anybody, regardless of parts. thereaverofdarkness 1 Link to comment
Fisk 106 Posted January 11, 2018 Share Posted January 11, 2018 I'm fat and single. That means I'm an expert at whipping cream. Primp the shrimp, jam the ham, brief to the relief, knead the seed, exorcise/exercise the devise, inflate/deflate the soul mate, bless the distress (or bless what is less, for smaller guys). Take a 30-second break, take a vacation on Banana Islands, take a front crap, take an anti-drink of un-water. ANNIHILATE THE FUTURE GENERATIONS. And my personal favourite: Change the location of your brain. Link to comment
Kez 374 Posted January 16, 2018 Share Posted January 16, 2018 This subject always reminds me of when I was 13, I was playing an MMO with some friends when one of them suddenly logged out. Me: where'd friend 1 go? Friend 2: he's touching off Me: (being a confused 13 year old) eh? Friend 2: having a handy shandy Me: ...? Friend 2: squirting the worm Me: (it finally clicks) OH Link to comment
asgard 2 Posted January 29, 2018 Share Posted January 29, 2018 Massaging the turtle https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_QvL3WtxWl4 (YT: Turtle Massage) Link to comment
StormrReaper 28 Posted February 1, 2018 Share Posted February 1, 2018 Choking the bloke, sharpening the sword. Miking the snake Link to comment
PPP 1,307 Posted February 1, 2018 Share Posted February 1, 2018 On 12/30/2017 at 2:01 AM, KozmoFox said: Milk the eel, flog the one eyed snake, make the bald man cry, skin the sausage Into the turtle soup? The only one's I've got are spank the sausage, run up the flagpole, and tickle the pickle. Link to comment
Imouto Bouquet 581 Posted February 1, 2018 Share Posted February 1, 2018 Male: Spank the monkey, beat your meat, shimmy your Jimmy, polish the piston, skin the sausage (a little disturbing, but whatever), pump your junk. Female: Scrub the rug, itch the ditch, dust the drapes, massage the mound. Most of those I think I just made up on the fly. I seriously need a new hobby instead of making euphemisms... RDFan2020 1 Link to comment
randomkath 349 Posted February 4, 2018 Share Posted February 4, 2018 (edited) Had a really confused discussion with my fiancé about "rubbing one out". To her, the "one" that is rubbed out is ejaculation. So, unless you are a woman who reliably squirts every time, it refers to male masturbation. To me, it is neutral, and works no matter the parts you have, because the "one" that is rubbed out, is an orgasm. I like rubbing one out. I mean, who doesn't. What I mean is: I like "rubbing one out". Edited February 4, 2018 by randomkath (see edit history) Link to comment
Darksyn 266 Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 I've heard many different euphemisms for masturbation... It's quite fun thinking them up. Only a few come to mind at the moment, but a few good ones are... Male: Jerkin' the gherkin, polishing the pork-sword, charming the one-eyed snake... Female: Polishing the pearl, nudging the nub, riding with han[d] solo, toying with the taco, sticking the hand in the honeypot, tending the axe wound, meeting the man in the canoe, and a few more that escape me at present. It's always great when a good one pops into mind. Tends to give me the giggles. (which, given my mind, ends up getting me strange looks when my scattered brain pops out good innuendo while I'm in public.) Link to comment
IAmCrazy132 28 Posted April 22, 2018 Share Posted April 22, 2018 I was never good at euphemisms, the closest I got was a panicked "GO AWAY MY HAND IS IN VAGINA" when my roommate almost walked in on me... Link to comment
Medieval Genie 207 Posted April 23, 2018 Share Posted April 23, 2018 I've heard ones like "a date with Rosie Palms" and some others I cannot remember. Link to comment
BlueWetter 500 Posted April 25, 2018 Share Posted April 25, 2018 Pull your pud, pull the dipstick, play pocket pool Flick the bean, Jill off, pet the kitty Link to comment
Uniee 2,990 Posted April 26, 2018 ✨ Legendary Member Share Posted April 26, 2018 Being a girl I just quite like 'fingering' Link to comment
Aaron 402 Posted April 26, 2018 Share Posted April 26, 2018 I know what an ex girlfriend used to call it: "finishing the job!" Link to comment
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