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I noticed that some guys who are into Diapers do have girlfriends, who also are into Diapers and i just want to know one thing:



How the FU** did u do that? 

I mean its pretty hard to get in a relationship at all but whit someone who has the same fetish? Seems like a Dream which will stay a dream forever :D How do you meet girls/guys who are into Diapers?


Again sorry for my english :3

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I admit I don't have a girlfriend, but I've given it my typical reflection. My conclusion is that there's no way I could hide my fetish from any prospective mate, and if it was discovered partway through a relationship, it would cause serious damage. Instead, I would seek a girlfriend that has a festish--just about any fetish--so that we could both be accepting of each other's fetishes. If it's, say, bondage, we could easily combine our fetishes into session enjoyable for both. That's my advice anyway.

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Hey, I met my ex-girlfriend through a fetish-chat platform, where the topic was watersports but i realise, that this is very uncommon, though not impossible if you know how to behave and not be a creap.

 

My recent girlfriend I found normally at work. She was totally vanilla about ervery  aspect of sex but I told her even before we really were together, what I was into (told her I had a secret I didn't want to tell her right away untill she was too curious and after asking me multiple times I told her on a date). At first she just said ok, it's not for her but she wasn't shocked and the topic stayed as it was for about half a year. I mentioned it sometimes and she also had a list of questions but we never engaged in anything omo related. Than after half a year we had a conversation about all that and she said, that she would be willing to try it. Long story short, after a week or two she was ready and we tried it and went further and further e.g. she wets diapers during foreplay etc.

So I think the trick is not to stress yourself out about it, find a nice s.o. and be honest with them from the beginning because it is an important part of you, especially when it comes to sex and see how they react. Don't push them to anything they don't want and in many cases you will be rewarded in that they are willing to at least try it out.

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When I met my wife I told her relatively soon that I was incontinent and she was ok with that. Over time I told her more of my past of how I grew up always being diapered.. Long story short, we eventualy got married, and she learned that diapers were much more than a tool to deal with incontinence for me. She now wears them because she knows I find it sexy.

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I think @Jimbeam261087  has it right. The best way to find someone into it is by finding someone with a fetish. I'm not saying it should be your first question but asking about fetishes once you get to know someone can be an interesting conversation. 

I recommend asking someone out that you're interested in and after a few dates once you're both comfortable bring up the topic of fetishes. Are you likely to meet someone with this fetish? No that's like a million to one shot, but most people have at least one fetish.

If they have a fetish they're usually more open to trying a new one, even if it's diapers.

So it's probably easier to find someone willing to indulge you from time to time than it is to find someone with this fetish. I've dated a few different women over the years that weren't into omorashi or diapers but were happy to indulge me anyway.

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Like so many things in life it comes down to how willing you are to put yourself out there.  Risk versus reward.

I haven't done all that much dating in my life, but of the ladies I've "come out to" I've had a pretty good success rate.  That doesn't mean that it was easy - frankly, there were some pretty difficult moments.  But, I think in the long run the risks were worth the rewards.

I do think telling your partner early is best, if your fetishes are at all important to you.  A relationship must be built on something more than just a mutual fetish, of course.  But, despite that, I feel that unexpressed desires alone can bring about the downfall of one.  I guess it's just unbalanced in that respect.  Of course, telling someone one of your deepest secrets is going to be difficult to begin with, and even more so if you are met with rejection.  But, the only alternative I can see is to live your life without ever fulfilling your desires, and that's probably going to wear on you over time.  It's the kind of thing that can erode a relationship piece by piece over many years, leading to many problems.  It's best to just get it over with early, rather than take several years to finally realize you were with the wrong person all along.

I can only speak for myself here, but I don't think approaching someone who has a different fetish is a winning solution.  Again, this is just me, but I find the fetishes I'm into to be wonderful and extremely fulfilling, while I find other fetishes (even ones that are related) to be completely repulsive and off-putting.  Maybe I'm an unreasonable person, but that's just my take on it.

I think the most efficient and plausible strategy is to treat early relationships as expendable.  If you're not compatible with someone, it's best to find out early so you can move on without too much pain, for you or the other person in the question.   Really, you can't expect to find a good match without trying as many potential matches as possible.  Don't put all your eggs in one basket - there are plenty of fish in the sea.  And other platitudes.  Don't run with scissors, though.  There are hefty risks associated with telling others of your secrets, so make sure you can trust the person first.  Even if they end up not wanting to be in a relationship with you, make sure they're not the type who will try to sabotage your future endeavors.  In other words, watch out for crazies.

Of course, there's always going to be risks of people talking about you behind your back.  Rumors may spread, and it can cause people to view you differently.  I think that's why it's better to approach people who you don't know well, because if you tell someone who you have a longstanding relationship with, there is the potential it can damage not only your relationship with that person, but also those with other people who are interwoven.  In my experience, people who seem to be rational and open-minded can flip in an instant when confronted with certain topics.  I'm afraid this may just be an unavoidable risk.

Ideally, one would hope to meet someone who is already in a community such as this one.  Unfortunately, I find that to be extremely difficult and impractical, for a bunch of reasons.  On the other hand, there is one upside to telling people in the real world - they may have a fetish and not even realize it.  Or, rather, they never considered it.  It's possible to meet someone and introduce them to this world and have them embrace it fully.  In my experience it's rare, but not unheard of.  In fact, one girl who I dated when I was pretty young ended up being super into this whole omo and DL thing, and I don't even think she had heard of it before she met me.  That's just one example of what I'm talking about - putting yourself out there.  I was with her for years, and have many very very fond memories because I was willing to take the risk.  I can't promise you'll meet with that kind of success, but it seems to me that it's either try, or just accept that you'll never have it.  You may win the lottery and meet someone online, thereby sidestepping all of the potential problems of "coming out", and in all honestly, I sincerely hope that you have it that easy.

All that said, this is mostly theoretical at this point.  I've been single for a long time, so maybe my relationship advice has gone stale.

Edited by Dynamic (see edit history)
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On 11/4/2017 at 6:11 PM, Twitavia said:

Great advise, but the question remains. How to meet a girl whit a fetish? i mean you can't just go outside and ask some random girls if the have a fetish :D

My question to you is, do you want a relationship or just a girl with a fetish you can have fun with?  My fiancée and I met "outside" and hit it off - both of us were looking for a long term relationship so functional sex, including any fetishes or kinks, were not top of the agenda on our first few dates.  I think it is important to bring it up early, like others have suggested, and I told her once it was clear we were getting serious but I think if you are going about finding someone purely based on whether they have a fetish or not and expect to find love you are likely to be disappointed more often than not.  On the other hand, if what you want is a sexual partner for short-term fun then absolutely, go for it!

My better half does not have a fetish, but she loves me and does not have a problem with me indulging mine - in fact I have a bigger problem with my having a fetish than she does.  We are both respectful of each others idiosyncrasies, which in my case includes my kink, and make allowances for that because we are, and want to continue to be, happy together - finding someone who respects you, all of you way beyond your kink(s), is more important to being happy together than finding someone who also has a fetish and someone who does respect you will allow you to indulge your fetish because you need to.

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On 9.11.2017 at 9:36 AM, MittensDL said:

My question to you is, do you want a relationship or just a girl with a fetish you can have fun with?  My fiancée and I met "outside" and hit it off - both of us were looking for a long term relationship so functional sex, including any fetishes or kinks, were not top of the agenda on our first few dates.  I think it is important to bring it up early, like others have suggested, and I told her once it was clear we were getting serious but I think if you are going about finding someone purely based on whether they have a fetish or not and expect to find love you are likely to be disappointed more often than not.  On the other hand, if what you want is a sexual partner for short-term fun then absolutely, go for it!

My better half does not have a fetish, but she loves me and does not have a problem with me indulging mine - in fact I have a bigger problem with my having a fetish than she does.  We are both respectful of each others idiosyncrasies, which in my case includes my kink, and make allowances for that because we are, and want to continue to be, happy together - finding someone who respects you, all of you way beyond your kink(s), is more important to being happy together than finding someone who also has a fetish and someone who does respect you will allow you to indulge your fetish because you need to.

I don't really know what i'm searching. I love being single but having someone to share this fetish whit would be a dream come true. The Problem is: Im super shy. I am 24 and i've never had a relationship (or sex) before so i don't really believe that something like "True love" or "Sharing this fetish" will happen to me any time soon.

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This is something I have trouble with. I have trouble thinking of my fetish as anything other than a shitty broken-down sexuality, and I'm not hopeful about finding a happy, fulfilling LTR. Having a fetish sucks sometimes.

I had a generally good three-year relationship. I told her about my fetish maybe 4-6 months in, and she was open-minded and accepting about it, because she was an open-minded, accepting, sex-positive type. The thing is, when your partner isn't into it, they're constantly doing you sexual favors, and that wears them down after a while. You (well, maybe not you, but I) get worn down too. It's really hard when you know that every really good sexual experience in the relationship was - at best - neutral for her, and that's when it wasn't more like a vaguely unpleasant chore.

You can try to offer something in exchange. Maybe explicitly as a transaction, maybe not. The fetish reciprocity idea might work for some people and be a disaster for others. In my case, we had a one-way open relationship. It was never set up as a deal, like "ok, if you put on a diaper occasionally, you can sleep with other guys", and we had the open relationship clause way before I told her about my fetish. Maybe she never even made the connection, but I think it made her more willing to try stuff she wasn't into.

Towards the end, she told me that although she had consented to wear a diaper occasionally, it wasn't enthusiastic consent. She proposed that the one-way open relationship become two-way, so that I could go and find someone able to give enthusiastic consent. We broke up maybe a month or two after that conversation, because we (I) finally accepted that our career goals were incompatible. My fetish wasn't a major contributing factor, but it was a factor. I never found someone able to give enthusiastic consent.

This post didn't contain any answers, but that's because I don't have any.

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On 11/10/2017 at 2:30 PM, Twitavia said:

I don't really know what i'm searching. I love being single but having someone to share this fetish whit would be a dream come true. The Problem is: Im super shy. I am 24 and i've never had a relationship (or sex) before so i don't really believe that something like "True love" or "Sharing this fetish" will happen to me any time soon.

I was much the same at your age.  I didn't have a proper relationship (more than 2 dates) or sex before my fiancêe, and I didn't meet her until I was 27.  I didn't have my first date, with anyone, until I was 25!  The girl I'm engaged to a) doesn't share my fetish and b) is the first and only girl I expect to ever have sex with.  And I had long given up on finding anyone, I wasn't expecting to find love or a long term relationship when we met and next year we're getting married.

When I was 24, I was desperate for anyone to find me attractive or show a romantic interest in me and I didn't.  I've found more prospective partners since I stopped looking so hard (I'd never cheat on my better half, but I've had women come on to me and be visibly disappointed when I tell them I'm not interested because I'm already spoken for - that NEVER happened to me in the past).

I've struggled with shyness my whole life, too, but I'm working on that (see below).

16 hours ago, supernerd222 said:

This is something I have trouble with. I have trouble thinking of my fetish as anything other than a shitty broken-down sexuality, and I'm not hopeful about finding a happy, fulfilling LTR. Having a fetish sucks sometimes.

Yes, yes it does.  I still see my fetish as something to be excised from my life and I'm still on a quest to cure it.  My fiancêe doesn't see it as a problem, as long as it doesn't impinge on her enjoyment of sex (i.e. as long as I can "get it up" and have sex without nappies being physically there she's happy and it's not a problem if I please myself with them when she doesn't want sex).  As she says "I don't care how you get your motor running, just make sure you park in the right garage" (this goes for looking at other women too - and likewise I don't take issue with her getting going by thinking about Nathan Fillion as a firemen ;) ).

As I said before, I have a bigger problem with my fetish than my fiancêe - telling her about it (she was the first person I ever told about it, despite being fascinated by nappies my whole life - I was caught stealing my sisters when I was 4 and only just out of them myself) was devastating to my mental health and I've been in therapy ever since.  None of the therapists (outside of the NHS - but that's another story) have had any issue with it and we've ended up working on my other issues, like my OCD and confidence (which caused me to be incredibly shy).

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7 hours ago, MittensDL said:

Yes, yes it does.  I still see my fetish as something to be excised from my life and I'm still on a quest to cure it. 

I'm also pretty pessimistic about the possibility of 'curing' a fetish. I've also been this way basically since I got out of diapers, and I think those connections in my brain are too strong. I've known a couple of people in the community who tried to get themselves cured, and it didn't work out. I see it kind of like gay conversion therapy: you can suppress the urge to do diaper stuff, but that doesn't magically make you a vanilla person. I think if I could somehow get rid of my fetish, I'd be left nearly asexual. If you like the serenity prayer (I don't, but still) I see this as being in the category of things that can't be changed.

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