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This is an interactive story about me.

I'm planing on retelling and reimagining some of the times in my life when I've either wet myself or gone close enough that had decisions or luck gone the other way I might have. 

I'm interested in introducing a mechanic of impartial chance. Because of my history playing D&D, as opposed to other roleplaying games, when I think about chance my mind goes straight to a 20 sided die. Every time you tell me to do something I'll roll a d20. I'll have secretly set targets the roll has to exceed for things to go well. So as a simple example if I was instructed to "go downstairs and look for a bathroom" I would first roll a d20 and then describe the results. A success, bathroom located, might be anything in the range or 13-20, a failure, no bathroom, might be 3-12, and a critical failure, pee my pants, could be a 1 or a 2. The difficulty of the task determines the likelyhood of success or failure and the longer the scenario runs the higher the chance of critical failure. I'm hoping to run several scenarios if there is interest and the outcome of previous scenarios is cumulative and consequential.

Majority rules on what I do, first in best dressed for tiebreakers.

I think this will be fun. :)

 

 

I wake up and I don't know where I am. It's dark and it's not my room. I can just tell. 

It takes me a few seconds to wake up properly. I'm at Derek's house. I took him home and apparently decided why not sleep with him? Great call Katy. You're going to definitely be proud of that decision in years to come. I can hear him softly snoring beside me. God his room smells foul; like old semen and older food. I need a wee. Like, really badly need a wee. I don't know where the toilet is. I don't know where the light is. I don't want to fumble around in the dark. I don't want to try and wake up Derek. I don't want to pee myself. I don't know what to do.

Help?

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I'm going to pee outside. Even if I find Derek's bathroom I'm fairly confident that something will be terribly wrong with it; the toilet will have no seat, the sink will be filled with black mold, the

17 hours ago, Obey Wario said:

Kill Derek ( if I can do that,and if not)

You can nominate whatever you like really :)

 

 

I can't stay here. If I fall back asleep I'll probably end up peeing the bed and Derek is definitely the kind of dude who would tell everyone. I get the strangest urge to throttle him; it passes. I slip silently out of bed and try to get my eyes to adjust to the dark.

Enough light bleeds through the blinds that I manage to spot both my handbag and the bowl of something immediately between me and it. Perfect! My phone is in my handbag and I can use that to find my clothes. The light on a Nokia 3310 isn't great but it's enough that I quickly round up my jeans, top, knickers, and boots. Even my socks turn up. Not my bra though. I decide to write it off. Miraculously nothing even ended up covered in anything that couldn't be brushed off.

Something moves over in the corner of the room. I have to clench my muscles to keep from peeing. Fuck this place is so gross. As I slip out the door I find my bra on the doorknob facing the hall. Classy. I pop it in my purse.

I don't really want to just start opening random doors looking for the bathroom but I'm far from convinced I can actually make it home without having an accident. I don't really know where Derek's house is exactly. He gave directions on the way here.

I'm in the hall outside his bedroom holding my phone like a flashlight and I'm not sure what to do. Help?

(Roll 17, Success) 

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I'm going to pee outside. Even if I find Derek's bathroom I'm fairly confident that something will be terribly wrong with it; the toilet will have no seat, the sink will be filled with black mold, there will be multiple things that scutter. Nope. I'd rather piss myself. Except I won't of course. Because I'm going to pee outside.

I mostly remember the way to the front door. Or maybe the house is just laid out in a way that you are naturally led away from its heart. Its vile, reeking heart. I shimmy around a teetering pile of boxes and step out the front door, closing it quietly behind me. It isn't as dark out the front of the house as I had expected. The street lamp opposite his front door makes holding up my phone to see a rather ridiculous thing to do. I put it away. In fact, Derek's house appears to be on a still reasonably busy street in the middle of town. Worse his door has let me out directly onto the footpath. 

A couple stagger past past, wrapped in each others arms as I take stock of the situation. I'm relieved to spot my car 20 meters down the road. I'm not sure what I'd have done if it was missing. I don't really feel safe wandering around alone here.

I could still just pee here like I planned. I don't want to though, not by any means. Maybe I should knock on Derek's door, say I went to get something from my car and accidentally locked myself out. Should I get in my car and drive somewhere? A petrol station, or a MacDonalds maybe, if I can't make it home? Or I could look for a more private spot outside to pee, though I'm not convinced I won't end up getting stabbed that's probably just me being paranoid. I kind of hate all these options.

I don't know what to do... Help?

(Roll 12, Marginal Success)

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I just can't bring myself to pee in the street. My friend Hannah peed between two parked cars last year when we were walking back to her place from the Transcontinental, but she was drunk, and she was also Hannah. I don't do that and I'm not doing that.

I'm also not going back to Derek's. Nope. Just nope.

So I guess I'm driving. I think I might be in the Valley... Maybe. That's only about 30 minutes from my place, 20 at this time of night. I can make it that far. Maybe. If not I'll find somewhere to stop.

I need to pee so badly that I'm literally shaking as I try to get my car key into the lock on the door handle. That's probably why I drop the keys. Which wouldn't have been a problem if I hadn't tried to grab the keys as they fell and knocked them under the car. Great.

I don't have time to consider how dirty the road is as I kneel down and fish around under the car for my keys. In the end I'm basically lying prone, on my freaking bursting bladder, before my hand wraps around my fluffy dice fob and I can stand back up. That wasn't fun. I'm more careful unlocking the door this time and finally get to slide into the front seat of my not-to-shabby Hyundai Excel. 

I'm actually relieved that the car starts. I mean it never hasn't but tonight would be the night. Right? I've got nothing as far as directions go. I just start driving in the hope of finding either somewhere with a bathroom that is still open or a road that I recognise and from which I can remember my way home.

The busy area around Derek's place quickly turns into middle-class suburb which doesn't help me in any way. I'm not about to pull over and pee in some random's front yard. I'm getting seriously worried about my ability to hold on any longer when all of a sudden I'm on the highway, running north. Lucky break. I should be home in 15 minutes. I try to weigh up how likely I am to be able to wait that long but I'm just not sure.

I could get off the highway and look for somewhere to pee? Or I could just grit my teeth and try to make it home? Help?

(Roll 8, Marginal Failure)

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There's no point looking for somewhere to pee. It'll almost certainly be quicker to just try to make it home.

At the set of traffic lights straight after my exit I get stopped at a red. There isn't anyone else coming. Stupid timed lights. I can't sit still. It occurs to me that I might have something in the back seat that might be absorbent enough to save my seat in the event that I... let myself down. If I'm lucky. (Roll 12, Marginal Success)

I cleaned out my car last weekend, unfortunately. The only thing back there, at all, is the sun visor I put up on my windshield during the day to try and keep the car from getting too hot. It isn't absorbent at all... But maybe it'll reflect the pee back onto my pants rather than letting it go straight onto the seat? Or maybe it'll just make a bigger mess. I shove it under my bottom anyway. Hopefully I won't have to find out whether it works. I'm pretty sure it won't.

The last ten minutes of that drive are terrible. I'm shaking. I'm sweating. I'm breathing through my teeth. But somehow I manage to not pee all over my car. 

I don't bother locking the car. I'll come back and do it later. It'll take too long. I've got the house key out and ready before I get to the front door. I don't drop the keys this time, It opens easily. 

The bathroom is right by the front door. Convenient. I can feel my muscles starting to give up as I flick on the light and can see the toilet in front of me. They do that sometimes. Is that weird? I mercilessly squeeze myself shut, ten more seconds. I've already unbuttoned my jeans in the car. I'm a planner that way. I pull down my undies and jeans in a single movement and throw myself onto the toilet just as I explode a cataract of pee into the bowl. Made it. I should be feeling relieved...

But I'm not.

Bladder roll 11 (Success, just. By 1) 

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I'm at a party. A house party. People are everywhere; drinking beers and alcopops, talking too loud. The music is blaring. I don't recognise the artist. Which isn't a surprise really. It's hot. Sticky, tropical, summer hot. I'm wearing a light black cotton dress. I'm still hot.

I drain the bottle of sickly sweet alcoholic fizz in my hand. I feel a little buzzy. Also thirsty. I should probably be drinking more water. Also I have to pee. Not badly, but it tends to come on quickly when I'm drinking alcohol. So maybe I should do something about that...

I get my bearings. My friend Hannah is dancing by herself. My boyfriend Ben is talking to his dickhead mates. I don't know anyone else in the room. Maybe I should go to the backyard? It'll still be hot, but maybe not quiet as hot...

Suggestions?

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I need a drink. There is a conveniently placed Esky filled with various coloured Vodka Cruisers between some couches. I choose Blue (Roll 13, Blue). I grab Hannah one as well. I'm pretty sure she'll be keen.

"Katy-Kate!" Hannah squeals as she hugs me, "And you brought me Windex flavour! How did you know?"

I'm not usually much for dancing but it's just someone's living room, no one is watching, I'm drinking blue alcopop, and Hannah has that skill of being effortlessly convincing of which I'm a little bit envious.

We at least try to dance while at least trying to talk over the stereo. It's fun. I think I chose what to do very well. 

After a while we have quite a little bowling alley of empties going and I really should go pee now. It's not like I feel desperate exactly. But my bladder definitely feels full and the alcohol is probably affecting my muscles. Still... I'm kinda embarrassed to mention it to Hannah. I know, I know.

I could suck it up and ask her if she knows where the loo is. I could make up an excuse and slip off to search on my own. I could just hold it until she mentions needing the toilet. Surely she must soon, she's been drinking as much as me.

Suggestions? 

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I don't want to mention I need the loo to Hannah. I just get embarrassed by it. I can wait a bit longer, so I hope that Hannah will decide that she needs the toilet herself and I can just go at the same time. 

To try and hurry her along I get us another drink each. We aren't really dancing anymore, just kinda swaying to the music. I don't quite need to pee dance, but it helps to keep moving. Unfortunately it looks like Hannah isn't going to say anything before I get dangerously desperate so I start to work up the nerve to mention the bathroom. But while I'm doing that Hannah says something so perfectly hilarious that we both start laughing uncontrollably. We are feeding off each other, laughing at the other's laughter. I think, "If I keep laughing like this I'm going to pee myself."

Then I pee myself.

Not copiously, just a little bit. Enough to dampen my knickers.

I stop laughing quite quickly at that point. I know I should excuse myself straight away but... I don't want Hannah to think I just wet myself. I know, stupid thing to think. So I figure I'll just wait five minutes and then go pee. Which would have been fine if Hannah isn't so freaking funny.

The second leak is bad. Real bad. Down my legs bad.

I had to jamb my hand between my legs to stop myself from completely flooding. It came away wet. Thankfully my dress is black and doesn't show a bit of dampness. If I was wearing Hannah's red and white print I'd have been screwed. She doesn't seem to notice. Amazingly.

"Oh my God! I nearly pissed myself just then. Are you keen for a loo run at all?" Hannah finally asks.

Obviously I am.

Hannah must have used the toilet earlier because she steers us straight to it. A guy and a girl are already waiting outside. I'm pretty sure they need a pee as much as I do from their body language.

"Whoh... long queue." Hannah slurs slightly. I guess we have had quite a bit to drink.

"Yeah," the girl in the queue responds, "Some chick is being sick in there and there isn't another bathroom."

"Really? Fuck it. I'm going behind a bush." The guy leaves quickly.

"Yeah me too. I'm absolutely busting for a wee." Hannah says to me, " Wanta come with? Or?"

I don't want to pee in the backyard. But I also don't want to pee in my pants. Which is becoming a possibility. The other thing is... the girl waiting for the bathroom with us looks super desperate. She can't stop pacing on the spot and I've seen her grab her crotch three times when she thinks no one is watching. There is a very real chance she wets herself in a minute. And I've wanted my whole life to see someone have an accident, and never have. So I'm really tempted to stay just for that... I could maybe convince Hannah to stay with me as well, depending on how badly she actually needs to go. Suggestions? 

(Roll 3, Fail, nearly critical)

I'll make multiple rolls for the next entry, one for each relevant character.

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"Please stay with me... I really don't want to pee outside. You know I don't like peeing outside at the best of times and this is a backyard. There'll be people everywhere." I all but beg Hannah to wait with me. I'm not even entirely sure why I want her to stay so much.

She considers it, and for a moment I think she's going to give in and stay, but then she slams her legs together and bends forward sharply at the waist for a moment and speaks quickly, "I'm sorry Katy, I'll come back afterward, I promise, I've just gotta-pee-so-freaking-bad. 

There's nothing I can do short of tackling her. I'm dearly tempted to follow her, because despite the reasons I gave her for not wanting to pee outside being true I'm genuinely worried I might end up not making it if I wait here. But I do wait.

I turn my attention toward the other girl waiting for the bathroom. She looks to be in her early 20's maybe, very blonde hair just touching her shoulders, kinda pretty I guess. I though her dress was black when we first walked up but now I look closely I can see it's actually a deep violet.

She notices me checking her out and I can't help blushing. I hope she didn't think I was "checking her out" checking her out.

"So how do you know Jared?" She has a stab at small talk.

I'm guessing this is Jared's party. I don't know Jared. "Oh my boyfriend is friends with him." I have a guess. It might well be true.

She tries to smile but she's mostly somewhere else, "I guess that makes us, like, friends-in-law or something."

I don't get it. She can tell. "Because I'm Kirsty, Jared's girlfriend."

We try to keep being social but honestly we are both most just trying not to pee our knickers. I don't remember what either of us say.

I'm really considering just running for the backyard at this point. I might well have left it to late though. My bladder has started to do that numb throbbing thing it sometimes does right before I have an accident. The fact that my undies are already wet isn't making this any easier.

Kirsty doesn't look to be doing much better. She can't stay still for even a second and her hand is pretty much permanently in her crotch. We both politely pretend it isn't.

At this point Hannah comes back looking much happier. "Have you guys not peed yet? Seriously. Come on. Backyard. There are bushes and I'll stand guard."

Kirsty seems unsure.

I don't know. I barely even care about Kirsty anymore. In fact now I kinda know her I think I'd feel bad if she wet herself. I'm not even sure I'll make it to the backyard. And if I do wet myself at this party I'd rather it be here in front of two people rather than twenty. Besides, who knows, the bathroom might become available any minute. I can't think of any other options. I don't know. Help?

(Roll 10, Mixed)

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Kristy shakes her head at Hannah. 

I'm not sure why she did, but I'm glad. Because I'm definitely going to wet myself. Any second now. It's way past the point of "it might happen" and become "It's going to happen". It's kinda terrifying.

Hannah lets out a frustrated sigh and walks over to bang on the door to try and get the girl being sick to hurry up. Kirsty and I were too polite to try that. Or nervous about conflict maybe. I don't want to speak for her.

She's yelling at the closed door for the girl to hurry up because "People are pissing themselves waiting for her!"

And I realise that she's right. 

I didn't even feel myself lose control. But I can feel the sudden warmth spreading around my crotch. The hot wetness running down my legs. I want to disappear. I close my eyes. It's a primitive urge, the idea that if I can't see them they can't see me.

I hear the bathroom door open. I hear someone gasp. I stand stock still with pee still pouring down my legs.

And when I open my eyes I'm not there.

(Roll 5, Critical Failure)

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