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Cadence of Hyrule is good. Very good. Not only did I play through it, but now I'm playing through its predecessor, Crypt of the Necrodancer. Dunno why I didn't give this game a fair chance when I first bought it, but I'm digging it now. May have to eventually write something about its lovely heroine. Now if only I can think of an interesting enough premise...

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Tell y'all a story about a cave. Cave Story is a game that I have tried so many times over so many years to give its proper due, but there has always been something in my way. Most of the time, it's missing one of the dozen steps to getting the best ending that killed my enthusiasm. Then, when I was livestreaming the game last year, accidentally abandoned Curly in the labyrinth house because you NEED TO INTERACT WITH HER TWICE, and decided to just go for the ending, I found that normal difficulty ends up too hard. So, at the start of summer, I went all-in on it. Easy difficulty, checking a guide, I was determined to finish this damn game once and for all. Then I got to the Blood-Stained Sanctuary and promptly gave up for a month. Then, a few days ago, I went back and got super lucky, with the best run I've had. Got to Ballos with full health, a Level 3 Super Missile Launcher (thanks to my friend, who's a huge fan of the game, for telling me that strat), got a lot of good shots and didn't need to use the Life Pot until the final phase, and beat the game.

Now that I've done it all, best ending and everything, I can finally form an informed opinion: I don't like Cave Story. Some of its flaws I can overlook, the loose controls, the excessive fetch quests (thankfully fixed in the most recent Switch version). But things like the asinine amount of steps to getting the best ending, the scarcity of health and save points in the four final bosses in a row, the BLACK WIND WHICH IS THE DUMBEST FUCKING MECHANIC AND HAS NO REASON TO EXIST BESIDES BEING EVIL, the Blood-Stained Sanctuary being an absolutely terrible level and terrible difficulty spike with no save points anywhere inside, and only one Life Pot in the entire game, those I can't abide. I'm glad to get this game out of the way, finally, because I don't think I'll play it again.

The only thing worth taking from the game is Curly Brace.

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Cave Story wasn't the only game I finished this week, either. I also..."finished" Hyperdimension Neptunia Re;Birth1. "Finished" in quotes because I didn't beat it. I made it to True Arfoire, halfway through in fact, before she pulled out Dragon Raid, which deals enough damage to one-shot my party, even if they were at full health. That was the point where I realized that I wasn't doing this. I wasn't grinding up items for plans, I wasn't grinding up money, I wasn't grinding up levels, I was finished. The only reason I made it as far as I did was because I downloaded a cheat engine (hopefully the only time I'll ever do that) to give myself a bunch of money to buy the DLC characters' best weapons.

Don't play Neptunia. It's cheap in presentation, the cutscenes take forever, it's not very well-written, there's a lot of repeated environments, and the amount of backtracking and grinding they expect you to do is ludicrous. The characters are the best thing it has going for it, and even then, they're nothing special outside appealing bodies.

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Back when I bought my PS3 in 2015, one of the first games I bought with it was the Ico & Shadow of the Colossus Collection. And, as I was running through setup with the five games I bought with the system, I gave Shadow of the Colossus a try. I thought it looked very nice, had a great style, fantastic soundtrack, plenty of artistic merit, and because I was testing it all on my parent's 3D TV, it still has the best 3D usage of any game I've tried. However, I found the controls so laggy and unresponsive that I couldn't play it, even the first Colossus was insurmountable. I gave up there and didn't look back. That is, until years later, when I was trying other 3D games on that TV, I found that, not only was Game Mode not enabled on the TV when 3D was on, but 3D just naturally makes it laggier. I began to think, maybe the problem was with the TV and not the game, and decided to give it another shot one day. That day was last night, when I gave another real serious attempt on Shadow of the Colossus.

Three Colossi later, my opinion hasn't changed. It's a fantastic game until you have to play it. The controls aren't laggy anymore, I'll give it that, but they're so loose, so finicky with direction and collision, stamina is so minuscule, the Colossi spend so long trying to shake Wander off that you never get to move, Wander trips over his own shoelaces if the Colossi so much as breathe, and actually figuring out how to climb the Colossi is an exercise in frustration. Spent 40 minutes fighting the Third Colossus because I figured, with a small outcropping on his club, you were supposed to grab onto it when it stabs straight down into the ground, but it never worked. The one hint of "its armor is brittle" wasn't helping. I had to look up a video to find out that there's a stone platform I never noticed because the arena is so massive and the camera points upward, and the Colossus is supposed to do a slamming club attack that he never did before. And even then, it still took forever because I kept falling off once I got up, and then the Colossus never felt like attacking for five straight minutes, instead chasing me down when I was keeping enough distance for that one attack. Now I feel informed enough to say I don't like this game. I have no doubt that, if it clicks for you, it really clicks, but it'd be nice if it functioned for me.

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News on the Shantae 5 front: the game will have opening animation. By Studio Trigger. That's great news, those guys know how to animate a sexy girl with a lot of skin.

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Trigger is also handling the animation for Indivisible, Lab Zero's next game after Skullgirls, a game that featured a Ryuko color palette for Filia (and other characters). All I'm saying is, Trigger and WayForward now have a connection, and Shantae would look good in Senketsu.

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