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A rant that doesn't fit here, but can't be posted elsewhere


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Short and blunt.

Attention ladies: Us men really, really, really value what you think of us.  Female acceptance is paramount to most men, whether they realize it or not.  For that reason, as long as you seem to heavily favor guys who are assholes in your choice of dating, the slimmer your own chance gets of ever finding a man who isn't an asshole.  We WILL mimic what we see you repeatedly choosing.  Want better men?  Choose better men.  

Disclaimer; I obviously realize not every woman does this.  It is an undeniable trend nonetheless.  And no, I'm entirely single or just going through a breakup.  This is observation more so than bitterness. lol

Alright.  

I feel better now.

Sorry everyone!  Have a nice day now. 

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I'm not mad, just overly opinionated.  Just irritation at particular women around me who credit all men for the actions of their asshole ex's, then proceed to date more assholes expecting a different outcome, THEN expect everyone to (A) feel sorry for them again, and (B) join them in disparaging all the men around them who did nothing to deserve it.  I pointed this out (believe it or not, in a way that didn't directly offend, obviously less bluntly than here) and was asked where all the good men are.  I replied, "in your friend zones, most likely."  

The comments here are more on an overall basis, I guess. You can't have a dating culture that favors brutes and expect it to breed gentlemen. It's along the same lines of having a culture that tells girls they have to be supermodels to be worthy of anything, and expecting it to breed anything but depression and inferiority complexes among women. Its just not realistic.  

Edited by Jodan (see edit history)
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With all due respect, congrats on being ultra tough badasses.  Most of the rest of us are in fact biological entities with two primary goals in existence that all other secondary goals can be boiled down to; consume and reproduce.  Since reproduction requires both sexes, most of us desire the other sex to desire us.  Obviously, this isn't the case if you're gay, but that's a completely different discussion.   Bare in mind I'm not talking about freaking out over what girls think all the time and crying yourself to sleep at night because "she didn't call."  I'm simply saying that on a primal, even subconscious level, men are generally hardwired to seek a woman's affection and approval.  I don't think that's such a far fetched idea, especially if you believe in evolution, which I obviously do. 

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Oh please, you flattere me sir im not ultra tough just a badass. (Also how does the desire to play a video game or listen to music boile down to consuming and reproducing?)

You use your audio system to REPRODUCE the music that was recorded elsewhere and CONSUME it with your ears ^_^

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Short and blunt.

Attention ladies: Us men really, really, really value what you think of us.  Female acceptance is paramount to most men, whether they realize it or not.  For that reason, as long as you seem to heavily favor guys who are assholes in your choice of dating, the slimmer your own chance gets of ever finding a man who isn't an asshole.  We WILL mimic what we see you repeatedly choosing.  Want better men?  Choose better men.  

Disclaimer; I obviously realize not every woman does this.  It is an undeniable trend nonetheless.  And no, I'm entirely single or just going through a breakup.  This is observation more so than bitterness. lol

Alright.  

I feel better now.

Sorry everyone!  Have a nice day now. 

Are you sure? Are you SURE its less bitterness? Because I feel like you're so salty, you could be the pillar of it that used to be Lot's wife!

 

Since you seem to value women's thoughts more, I'm gonna give you a newsflash and a half here bud. The only thing less attractive than a bloody brute, is men who whine about the friendzone. I CANNOT stress this enough. It would be impossible to stress it that much. What you describe is a very deniable trend, in that it isn't a trend. I can tell you though, that guys that say the kind of crap you're saying now are the type we joke about at sleepovers. I can confirm this. Last get together I had there was over 10 of us drunk mocking sayings exactly like this in silly voices. Stop it. Don't even use the word friendzone.

 

If you for some reason think this is even remotely a trend you're either dealing with shallow women too much, or judging too many dudes without knowing them. I repeat, this is NOT a trend. Thinking it is a trend seems to be a trend, however.

 

The friend zone is not a thing. We don't HAVE to like you that way. You are not entitled to ANYTHING just because you are nice.

Say it with me kids, women are not machines you put kindness coins into until a date or sex falls out.

 

Again, this kind of mindset is a staple joke among groups of lady friends.

Dating culture does not even remotely favor brutes. Brutes are bleh. Bruce Banner did not get Betty by hitting on her in Hulk form. I encourage you to look at the company you keep, because it sounds to me, pardon my french, that you're dealing with a bunch of entitled bitches expecting life to hand them everything on a silver platter because VAGINA. You complain about everything but the women, when it sounds like the women are your problem giving you this false information because I can guarantee you, talking like this near my group of friends, or even my several groups of acquaintances, doesn't put you in the friend-zone, it puts you in the not-dating-him-ever zone.

 

Want better women? Choose women you actually have to work for instead of whining. This attitude is a major turnoff.

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the friendzone

I didn't even know that this was a thing until fairly recently. Does it count as being in the "friendzone" if you're quite happy there and indeed that's where you want to be? A solid friendship certainly seems like a good basis for a meaningful relationship - at least it worked for me - but the friendships alone are so valuable that I can't ever see that the "friendzone" could be a bad place to be!

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I didn't even know that this was a thing until fairly recently. Does it count as being in the "friendzone" if you're quite happy there and indeed that's where you want to be? A solid friendship certainly seems like a good basis for a meaningful relationship - at least it worked for me - but the friendships alone are so valuable that I can't ever see that the "friendzone" could be a bad place to be!

It should count. I have many guy friends, and I'm thankful for and trust every one of them. I have quite a few on this very forum! Unfortunately, the term friendzone is used by dudes who think they shouldn't be friends. Rather, he is attracted to the female and thinks himself entitled to a relationship or sex simply on the premise of being nice and being a good friend, even if the attraction is completely one-sided. The cruel irony to this is that people with this mindset aren't truly friends or the "nice guys" they claim to be when talking about the friend zone at all.

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"A solid friendship certainly seems like a good basis for a meaningful relationship - at least it worked for me - but the friendships alone are so valuable that I can't ever see that the "friendzone" could be a bad place to be!......"

 

homeanddry, I could not agree with you more. I  certainly do not speak for all men, I only speak for myself.   I treasure my friends and any opportunity to meet new ones. I do not want to look at this site, nor any site, as a potential dating site.  I'm not saying there's anything wrong in that field if you that's your fancy but why would there need to be a catch.  If you meet someone that should turn into a significant other, GREAT. However, if you don't and you've met some good friends, you've still gained so much.   That's my two cents, for what it's worth.  Of course, I fully admit that I'm not here to pull birds or meet dating partners.  I'm here to share my thoughts with people who share a common or similar issue and yes, meet friends.  I must admit that I've met some amazing people on this site. I thank you all for that.  Cheers. 
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Most of the rest of us are in fact biological entities with two primary goals in existence that all other secondary goals can be boiled down to; consume and reproduce. Since reproduction requires both sexes, most of us desire the other sex to desire us. Obviously, this isn't the case if you're gay, but that's a completely different discussion.

I posit that gayness within species that reproduce sexually is evolutionary. Humans are definitely not unique in having homosexuality (e.g. bats) And some species actually benefit from homosexuality.

Unless I misinterpreted your statement. In which case, never mind. :P

Also, if women you know go for traits you don't have or represent, then they are simply not your type. At least when speaking of these "bad boy" types. Don't give them your credit/attention when you know it's not going to be a good match. You'll know if they're right for you, and vice-versa.

Just maintain your integrity and values and then you'll attract the one.

Edited by Leitmotif (see edit history)
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Unfortunately, the term friendzone is used by dudes who think they shouldn't be friends. Rather, he is attracted to the female and thinks himself entitled to a relationship or sex simply on the premise of being nice and being a good friend, even if the attraction is completely one-sided.

 

That's exactly how I see it - that the "friendzone" is only a thing for those who are frustrated by the lack of anything more. Anyone else is generally happy just to be mutually good friends without having to put a name to it! If a friendship is going to develop into something more, then of course the feelings have to be mutual, and it's no use one party banging the drum if it isn't the case - because that certainly won't help!

 

 

"A solid friendship certainly seems like a good basis for a meaningful relationship - at least it worked for me - but the friendships alone are so valuable that I can't ever see that the "friendzone" could be a bad place to be!......"

 

homeanddry, I could not agree with you more. I  certainly do not speak for all men, I only speak for myself.   I treasure my friends and any opportunity to meet new ones. I do not want to look at this site, nor any site, as a potential dating site.  I'm not saying there's anything wrong in that field if you that's your fancy but why would there need to be a catch.  If you meet someone that should turn into a significant other, GREAT. However, if you don't and you've met some good friends, you've still gained so much.   That's my two cents, for what it's worth.  Of course, I fully admit that I'm not here to pull birds or meet dating partners.  I'm here to share my thoughts with people who share a common or similar issue and yes, meet friends.  I must admit that I've met some amazing people on this site. I thank you all for that.  Cheers. 

 

 

Thanks, and likewise. I'm certainly not here for anything to do with dating (it's too late for that and I'm not about to change it!), just to socialise with like-minded folk and maybe make new friends along the way! I don't see it as anything any different to other 'specialist' forums where people go to talk about football or tiddlywinks or traffic lights or whatever.

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As far as "Friendzone" word usage; Did I say, anywhere at all, that I was stuck in anyone's "friendzone?"  Absolutely not.  I referred to it in answering a direct question to a specific person who has a specific habit in who she chooses to date.  I referenced a commonly used pop culture term, like "cougar," or "shart." Stupidly, I blew off the steam from said interaction here. And suddenly it's insinuated that, among other things, I'm not a nice person and I assume I'm entitled to sex.  Anyone who actually knew me would literally laugh at that.  Lesson learned, nevertheless. I just won't say anything anymore.  I've received too many berating responses to keep track and certainly too many to bother responding to individually.  There's a drastic difference between cynical and bitter.  Regardless, your resounding message is received. No further opinions from me on anything ever.  Over and out.

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The friendzone doesn't exist it's something salty little teenagers came up with when they got denied on their edgy Linkin Park highschool prom night.

 

I cringe every time I hear the word 'Friendzone'

 

Also Firefox got it right and isn't just group's of ladies it's groups of friends that do this shit to we make fun of this stuff cause it's such stupid moronic bullshit and we enjoy the chuckles it gives us.

Edited by Finzy (see edit history)
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