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Dragon Unbound


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The cold, nippy wind blew through again. Where most outsiders would likely complain about the chilly breeze, it was a reminder to locals that all was right with the world. When Skyrim was cold, everything was as it should be. It could make keeping the forge hot a challenge at times though.

“You leave that to me.” Oengul War-Anvil would say. “The forge is like a wild horse that will only heed the call of her master.” Nevertheless, Oengul was not here, and getting the forge to obey my own whims was no easy task. I took the steel out of the hot coals and placed it on the anvil. Raising my hammer high, I carefully, but firmly, struck the hot metal, tempering it into the shape I needed.

Clang! Clang!

You could hear the sound of metal being struck even from the Gray Quarter sometimes. As much as you wanted to say that all is right with Skyrim, Windhelm had grown uncomfortably quiet since Jarl Ulfric declared war against the Empire.

Crack!!!

“Dammit!” I cursed. Thanks to my wandering mind, I managed to smash my would-be blade in half. I was moments away from tossing the hammer at the forge, when a gentle hand is laid upon my shoulder.

“Don’t lose heart, Karlie. Smithing is an art that requires infinite patience.” Said the sweet voice that belonged to the person who laid their hand on me.

“I know, Hermir.” I sighed irritably. “But steel is a whole different category from iron when it comes to constructing a blade.”

“You should try working with orichalcum someday.” Hermir laughed. She gently pushed me aside, took the hammer and grabbed a new rod of steel. “A good sword isn’t something you can fashion in just a few moments.” She said as she placed the hot metal on the anvil. “For it to be strong, sharp, and reliable, you need to work at it for a long time.” Unlike my own hammer strikes, Hermir hit the metal with strong, yet controlled skill. Envy welled up within me like a sickening disease. This girl was a natural. Why can’t my skill be anything like this?

In that moment, she turned and saw my expression of jealousy, making it out for what it was. To my surprise, she smiled. “You’re a clever girl, Karlie. You already handle iron with great ease and I’m sure you will be able to master the smithing of steel quickly.” She stepped back and gestured at the anvil with both hands. “Try again.”

The blade was already half done. I subtly shrugged and picked up the hammer again. This time, I didn’t bring the hammer quite so high. No more than half a meter from the anvil, and I began to carefully strike the hot metal.

Within an hour, I had a well-shaped sword of steel. “Now all that’s left is to refine it.” said Hermir. I couldn’t hide the enthusiastic smile on my face. For the first time, I managed to create a steel sword. I walked over to the grindstone, sat down and began to sharpen the blade. With the same precision, I gently placed the blade upon the surface of the stone and pressed down on the pedal. Sparks flew as the stone wheel turned, refining the blade into a weapon of beauty. Once I had it honed in the manner I needed it to be, Hermir handed me a strip of leather. “Now make your hilt and you’re done!”

---

Satisfaction filled my heart as I looked upon the sword I had made. I twirled it around in my hand, swung it a few times and then held it high. Finally, work I could be proud of. “Hermir, thank you so much for your patience and support.”

The woman nodded. “Even Oengul had to start somewhere. We all did. This isn’t a skill that develops overnight. As you know, I’ve been doing this since I was just a girl and I know I still have a lot to learn.”

I gazed at the polished blade once again. I could still hardly believe that this fine weapon was crafted by my hands... well, with a little help from Hermir. “Well we’ve been friends for a long time,” I said, “And your guidance has been appreciated greatly.”

“You’ve helped me a great deal as well, Karlie!” she responded. “Where my skill is at the forge, your skill is in combat. You’ve taught me some impressive tricks.” I smiled. Hermir had been such a good friend and a wonderful teacher. I walked up and gave her a gratuitous hug. As we parted, Hermir’s smile turned into an expression of concern. “So... if I may ask... what do you plan on doing now?”

I looked off to the west. “Well... I’m not entirely sure yet, but I was thinking I might try my luck with the Companions in Whiterun.”

“Karlie... you know that a warrior of your caliber would be invaluable to Ulfric’s cause.” she stated.

“I know. You’ve told me.”

“You have skill in both blade and magic. I have no doubt that Skyrim will benefit from your help.”

I sighed. I’ve held this opinion back for a long time. And Hermir has always been such a loyal follower of Jarl Ulfric. He was a hero to her. What I was about to say, would probably damage our friendship permanently. “Hermir, I don’t completely support Ulfric’s rebellion.”

As I expected, she gave a look of both astonishment and pain. “What are you talking about!?”

“Look, I don’t agree with what a lot of the Empire has done. There’s no reason we shouldn’t be able to worship Talos and I highly doubt the Thalmor have Skyrim’s best interests at heart. But...” I gave Hermir a very stern look. “Look at what’s going on here in Windhelm! Look as the dunmer are bullied by the citizens while guards look the other way! As argonians are forced to live outside of the city walls just because they aren’t nords! Ulfric intends for Skyrim to be a land for nords and nords alone! I won’t support a high king who discriminates so unjustly!”

“He’s fighting a war! He’s trying his best to govern affairs in Eastmarch but there is only so much one man can do!”

“He has Brunwulf and Jorleif to help him. There is no sound reason for this prejudice to continue.”

Hermir’s expression turned into one of anger. “And so for this, you would let our entire nation die!?”

“I doubt I’d be the cornerstone in the war.”

“I thought I knew you better than this, Karlie!”

“Please, Hermir!” I tried to console her, “I don’t plan on supporting the Empire either, it’s just that-”

“You might as well!” She turned and resumed her work in the forge.

“Hermir...”

She wouldn’t listen. In her mind, you were either with or against the Stormcloaks. No in-betweens.

“Just go.” She said.

It hurt immensely. Having to part for reasons such as this. Politics... sometimes I swear that the only reason they exist is to end friendships. There was nothing left to be said. I turned and headed for the main gate.

---

I saddled up with my gear onto my newly-purchased horse. Sleeping mat, some preserved food, a canteen of fresh water, some healing potions and a few extra clothes. I decided it would be easiest to wear my armor while riding. A nice set of tanned leather armor, gloves and boots. I was as ready as I could hope to be.

“Leaving just like that, eh, breton?”

I knew that voice. Rolff Stone-Fist. Also known as the “resident racist.” As far as he was concerned, if you weren’t a nord, you might as well be a daedra, for you had no place in his world. He moved into the path of my horse

“I’m in no mood for your bigotry, Rolff.” I said as I got atop my steed. “Stand aside.”

“Rumor has it you’re off to join the Imperial Legion.” He said in a sly tone.

“If you have faith in rumors, you’re a bigger idiot than I gave you credit for.”

“I knew you were a spy! I should kill you right here!”

“The guards would be on you in seconds.”

“No one’s going to miss a breton traitor!”

I growled. “Go pick a fight with a saber cat! You’ll have a better chance of surviving!” With that, I motioned my horse forward. “Ya!” We took off in a hurried jolt, knocking that fool to the ground on our way out. I headed west, towards the city of Whiterun.

I came upon Anga’s Mill, owned by a woman named Aeri. I met Aeri when I was first on my way to Windhelm. I had been wounded by a bear attack, and she was nice enough to help me and tend to my wounds. A good woman, but could stand to be a little more lenient to her workers. Figured I could at least say “goodbye”.

“Karlie! It’s good to see you again!” She greeted me.

“I’m glad to see you again as well, Aeri.” We embraced platonically. It had been over a week since we last saw each other.

“Where are you headed with all that gear?” She said as she looked at my horse.

“Whiterun.” I replied. “I’ve decided to try and join the Companions, but I wanted to say ‘goodbye’ to some old friends first.”

“Kodrir and Leifur are right inside. Come have a drink with us!”

I smiled. “All right.” Tying my horse to the fence, I walked into the house with Aeri. Sure enough, there was Kodrir and Leifur, getting full off of some good nord mead.

“Karlie!” They both shouted ecstatically. “How have ya been, girl?”

“Just fine. I’ve missed the two of you!”

Leifur grabbed a tankard and began pouring some mead into it. “Drink up, my friend. Tonight is a night of good spirits!”

“I’m afraid I can’t stay long, but I’ll have a drink with you guys!”

To be totally honest, mead is not my favorite drink. I have no idea how the nords drink it such large quantities. Too sweet. I prefer a good ale personally. Far be it from me to turn down the hospitality of such good people though. I took the tankard and drank from it with gratitude.

“So why the Companions?” Aeri asked.

“I think that such an organization is better suited to my talents.” I replied.

“I thought you were a mage.” Leifur said.

“Um... ‘spellsword’ would probably be a more appropriate term.” I corrected him. “I know how to use some spells, but I do not share the mages’ desire to learn about the ‘mysteries of Aetherius’ or any of that nonsense.”

“Not totally a mage, but not totally a warrior...” Kodrir mused. “Got any stealth skills as well?”

I grinned. “I don’t pick pockets, if that’s what you mean.”

“I think it’s the perfect job for someone like you, Karlie.” Aeri said. “You have a lot of skills to offer the Companions.”

“The gold doesn’t hurt either.” I said, raising my cup. We all took a big drink, completely emptying our tankards, then slamming them down on the table with an emphatic, satisfied sigh.

“So...” Kodrir started, “What has everyone heard about that attack on Helgen?”

“Sounds terrifying.” Aeri responded. “The leading rumor is that a dragon attacked.”

“Witches are known to be in that area as well. Might have been one of them doing their little tricks.” Leifur added. “What do you think, Karlie?”

I didn’t know how to answer. I thought about it, then decided an honest answer was best. “I was at Helgen when that happened, actually.”

“What!?” Everyone looked at me with wide eyes.

“Yeah... I got caught in a skirmish between the Stormcloaks and the Empire. One of the Legion’s soldiers thought I was a rebel and wouldn’t listen to reason. I had to kill him.”

“One less Imperial.” Leifur chuckled.

“Well, suffice it to say, his buddies didn’t like that and I got captured. We were all take to Helgen for execution. But before my sentence could be carried out, a huge black dragon attacked. Burned down the whole area.”

“How did you escape?” Aeri asked.

“A man named Ralof. He was one of the Stormcloaks, but we managed to work together and get out of there.”

“What were you doing out there in the first place?” asked Kodrir.

“I was heading back to Windhelm after a job.” I answered. “That’s probably why they thought I was a rebel.”

“It’s a wonder you got out of there at all.” Aeri remarked. “Between the Imperials and the dragon.”

“I can still hardly believe it’s true... that a dragon appeared in Skyrim.” said Leifur.

“Well I’ve enjoyed the drink,” I said, “but I want to get to Whiterun before it gets too dark.”

“All right,” said Aeri, “It was good seeing you again, Karlie.”

“Don’t forget about us!” Kodrir yelled, raising his tankard high.

“I’ll visit. Don’t worry!” I rose from my seat, belly full of mead. Arrival at Whiterun was likely going to be entertaining. At least the horse wasn’t drunk. I stepped back outside and prepared my horse. I hopped on and then took one last look at my friends. “I’m gonna miss you guys.” They waved farewell, as I did the same. The sun was setting, Skyrim’s skies turning pink and orange and altering the colors of the landscape accordingly. It was time to go. If there’s one thing you learn in my time in this land, don’t be out after dark...

---

On a slow trot, I scaled the path that encircled the mountain. There, past the cliff, the tall building known as Dragonsreach came into view. Whiterun was finally within reach. Down the path, across the bridge, and past the local meadery. There I was at the gates of Whiterun. Took nearly the half the day, but I made it.

“Whoa girl!” I slow my horse to a halt. Quickly hoping off, I lead her over to the nearby stables. A man walks up to us, and without a word leads my steed into one of the stalls. That’s service for you.

I wasted no time. I hurried up the path to the front gate eager to begin my career with the most esteemed warriors in the land.

“Halt!”

I halted. One of the guards at the gate approached me, his suspicious gaze piercing through the face of his helmet and going right to me. “Is there a problem?”

“City’s closed due to the dragon’s about. What business do you have here?”

“I seek to join the Companions.”

“The Companions? You? Wahahahaha!!!” The man broke out in laughter. He keeps it up and I’ll break him. “You’d be like a butter knife in a room full of greatswords! How old are you anyway?”

“I don’t think my age reflects on my skill in battle.”

“Fine, have it your way, princess!” He chuckled. “Guess Skjor will just have to break the bad news to you himself.”

There was nothing left to say to a man like this. I considered running him through with my sword, burning his head inside his helmet, and freezing off his testicles, but that would likely ruin any chance of joining the Companions. So the best thing to do was to simply shatter the fool’s preconceptions of me and get accepted. And so, I opened the gate.

I have to say, even though Whiterun seems smaller than Windhelm, it is a much more lively town. Not because there were more people in it, but because she was untouched by the war. You could feel it emanating off of the people; there were no Stormcloaks and no Empire. At last I could just forget about-

“You’re a dirty traitor, Gray-Mane! Just get out of Whiterun and head to Windhelm where you can be with your Stormcloak buddies!”

“I’m the traitor!? You’re the one who’s willing to sell your homeland to the elves!”

I just know it. The gods are laughing at me right now. All of them. It’s a sick joke they play. Regardless, it looks like the civil war manifests itself in one way or another in every part of Skyrim. I think the best thing to do is just try and avoid-

“You there! Girl! Gray-Mane or Battle-Born?”

Screw the gods. They hate me and now I hate them.

“What?” I asked.

“You heard me!” the man repeated. “Gray-Mane, or Battle-Born?”

“I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about.”

He sighs irritably. “Then let me reiterate for you since you obviously fell asleep in school! There are two prominent families in Whiterun: Gray-Manes and Battle-Borns. The Battle-Borns are loyal to the Empire and Skyrim where the Gray-Manes back the Stormcloaks! You’re with one or the other, which is it?”

Thick-headed imbecile. “I support no one. I walk my own path without needing to select sides.”

The man grunted as he shook his head, his long, dirty golden hair shaking with each motion. “Then you ain’t gonna survive long here in Skyrim. You either join one side, or get crushed by both!”

“We’ll see.”

The quarreling men went separate ways from each other. It amazes me really. How can people be this black-and-white on matters? Hermir didn’t surprise me, she’s been like that for as long as I’ve known her. But for her it’s more a case of blind hero worship. This? I don’t even know what to call this. “Idiocy” comes to mind.

Without any further interruptions or divine practical jokes, I made my way to Jorrvaskr, mead hall of the Companions and the oldest building in Whiterun. Eagerly, I stepped in their doors.

---

It was as the troubadours described it. A large central fire pit, surrounded by a large table covered in food and bottles of mead. On the walls were trophies and retired weapons of war. Truly an awe-inspiring sight.

I was immediately greeted by a tall nord woman with long auburn hair and a sexy set of armor reminiscent of that which was worn by ancient nords. Her most striking feature, however, was the three streaks of paint along her face that resembled claw marks.

“Who are you?” She asked sternly.

“Karlie. I seek to join the Companions.”

“Really?” the woman answered. “And what does a meek girl like you have to offer the Companions?”

“There is much I have to offer. I have great skill and experience in battle, but I am also dutiful and committed to causes I believe in.” I explained. “I believe the Companions are a noble and honorable company of warriors and I’d like to be a part of it.”

“You’re joking, right? You look like you’d crumble under the weight of a mud crab.” Said a man behind me. He was half-bald, wore heavy armor with a wolf emblem and had a scarred eye.

“Karlie, meet Skjor.” the woman said. “I am Aela the Huntress, and while Skjor’s analogy may be crude, it is accurate. You do not appear to be the most... physically capable of warriors.”

“That is because I have invested my skill in warfare beyond that of the sword.” I answered. “I posses the ability to wield some magics as well. I have proficiency in the arts of destruction, alteration, and restoration.”

“A mage, huh?” Skjor scoffed.

“Not technically.” I corrected him. “I have no desire for ‘higher learning’, I simply seek to compensate for what you call my ‘physical capabilities’.”

Aela laughed, but not in the manner of ridicule. “You’re a resourceful girl, Karlie, I like you. If it were up to me, I’d let you in, but the decision is ultimately Kodlak’s. You will have to speak to him and he shall decide whether you may be permitted to join.”

“Ah, I see.”

Aela looked down at my legs just then. “Are you... okay?”

She must have noticed me moving from side to side. “Yeah, I’m just kind of nervous. I thought I’d be turned away immediately.”

“Hm. Well head downstairs and speak with Kodlak.”

“I will.” Like I would ever admit it in front of a group of people like this, but in truth all that mead from earlier had made it’s way through my body by now. Nature was calling, I was inclined to answer... but not just yet.

I headed down the stairs. The lower floor appeared to be the barracks or living quarters of the Companions. There was a large room with multiple beds, and then four more rooms with a single bed each. At the far end of the hall, two men were conversing. I’d guess the one with the long, white beard was probably Kodlak.

“Um, hello sir.” I greeted him.

“Hello young lady.” He said in a powerful voice. “What can I do for you?”

“You are Kodlak Whitemane? Leader of the Companions?”

He laughed. “‘Harbinger’ is my title, and I am more of an... advisor than a leader, but it is I who decides whether someone is worthy enough to join our ranks or not.” He began to size me up. “Is that what you seek here?”

I nodded. “I do. You are an honorable group of people that I would love to be a part of.”

The other man looked at me with a scowl. “The Companions aren’t accepting new members at the moment.”

“Now hold on, Vilkas. There’s something about this one.” Kodlak said. “I can feel the determination in her heart. You’re very serious on joining, aren’t you?”

“I am.”

“Kodlak, we can’t just take in every pup who wants to be a part of us! We only just recently accepted Ria!”

“Call it a hunch, Vilkas. I believe this one will prove more valuable than you realize. Take her out back and judge her skill.”

Vilkas sighed. “Very well. Come with me, pup.”

You’d think I’d be used to the condescending attitude of the nords by now. I’m not. Been living in Skyrim for years and that superiority complex still gets my dander up.

---

We came out in the rear part of Jorrvaskr, which was a nice wide-open area. Several training dummies, archery targets, and a place for sparring. That was our destination. Vilkas drew that massive sword of his.

“All right then, pup. Let’s see what you can do. Hit me, if you can.”

And so I drew my own sword. I put my right foot back, keeping my sword low.

Vilkas took one look at my stance and raised an eyebrow. “You plan on blocking like that?”

“I don’t plan on blocking at all.” I retorted.

This time, Vilkas raised both eyebrows. “Really? Interesting. Let’s see what you’ve got!” He rushed forward, holding that sword up to his shoulder. He was going to make a large overhead sweep of his blade. If Vilkas was a leading member of the Companions, why would he telegraph his moves so carelessly?

However, as I told him, I had no intention of blocking. As he charged forward, I slipped to the side and watched him barrel by me. He caught his footing almost instantly, though.

“You’re quick on your feet. Good!”

“If that’s your attack strategy, I think this match is over.” I said.

“Just testing you.” Vilkas said with a cocky tone. Taking a more neutral stance that balanced his weight more, he casually approached me. He was not so eager to tell me his plans this time.

Whoosh!

It nearly caught me by surprise. The man could swing that massive sword as if it were straw! With a flurry of strokes and slashes, he came at me, but with grace and ease, I dodged every one of them. He then came at me with a large thrust from his chest, and I had to think quickly. While sidestepping, I parried his blade with my own, leading it to the ground where it hit with a loud clang! I then jumped atop his blade, pinning it, and place the point of my own sword at his neck. The look of astonishment on Vilkas’ face was priceless.

“Okay, so you have some skill.”

Clapping then sounded around us. I failed to notice as others arrived to watch our match.

“Well done, Karlie!” Aela applauded. “It has been some time since I’ve seen someone put Vilkas in his place like that!”

I looked around. The other Companions has expressions of similar sentiments on their faces. Even Skjor. I calmly stepped off of Vilkas’ sword, and he sheathed it with embarrassment.

“Well done, indeed.” Kodlak stepped out. “It’s a common mistake for the experienced to become overconfident in their abilities. A weakness you exploited with ease.”

“Bah! I’ll be inside!” Vilkas stormed off into Jorrvaskr.

“He’ll be fine.” Aela said. “He’s just sore over losing to a new blood.”

“With skill like that, I am anxious to see how you will do in the real world.” Kodlak said.

“Indeed. Cunning like that will go far here.” Aela agreed.

“Am I a Companion?” I asked.

“Nearly.” Skjor said. “Winning a sparring match, even with Vilkas, doesn’t make you honorable. Try this.” He handed me a small parchment.

Needless to say, I’ve been holding it for a while now. Not holding the parchment! Holding “it”. I don’t think any of the others noticed, but by now I was pressing my legs together rather tightly. I might have actually beaten Vilkas a bit faster if I wasn’t concentrating on holding “it”.

I opened the parchment:

-

Companions,

Traveling caravans have brought to our attention a small but strong bandit presence that has been plaguing the roads near the Pale. Between the war and the dragon threat, I can’t spare any of Whiterun’s guards and Jarl Skald refuses to listen to anyone, as usual. There will be a sizable bounty for the warrior(s) who clears this area of the bandit threat.

-Jarl Balgruuf the Greater

-

“Bandits are just cowards who prey on those who can’t defend themselves.” Skjor explained. “Most cower at the sight of a real warrior. Hardly a challenge, but a good way to prove yourself, whelp.”

I nodded. “Very well. I’ll be back once their gone.”

“Good luck, Karlie.” Aela said.

I hurried out with enthusiasm. Though the reason for that enthusiasm isn’t what you think. While I was excited to get accepted into the Companions, there was another matter that needed tending to. A rather private matter. A private matter I would empty into the grass as soon as I was outside of the city gates. As I exited Jorrvaskr, I went down the steps of the Plains’ District when something caught my eye. A squad of guards ran by me in a huge hurry. They were accompanied by another who didn’t seem to be part of the regular guard. A female dunmer. In a moment, they were out the front gate, heading westward.

I made my way further down after leaving the city. Whiterun hold was filled with open plains. Between the stables and farms, there wasn’t a whole lot of privacy for a girl to do her business. Which was sad, because I really have to go! I headed a little further west myself, hoping there would be less people around. Near a small pile of rocks, there was a nice thick bunch of grass. Perfect! I could hide behind that and do what I needed to do. I hoped over the boulder, then loosened my belt. I reached under my armor, pulling down my undergarments. Why am I explaining all this with exquisite detail? Because it isn’t as simple as you think! Maybe you can appreciate how much of a challenge it actually is to take a leak out in the wilderness! Unless I want to strip down totally naked, I have to... really... wiggle... these... damned... underclothes... out... from... under... this... armor! Finally! By the Divines, why does peeing have to be such a chore!? I squatted down, spread my legs, annnndddd......

“You there!”

I shrieked. I must have sounded like a ten year-old. I quickly yanked my underclothes as far back up as I could, which... unfortunately... resulted in me leaking into them (but only a little bit).

I looked over at who called me. It was that dark elf woman. “I saw you with the Companions earlier. Are you one of them?”

“I-I’m trying to be.” I stuttered, still shaken from being startled.

“Then I would ask that you come with me. We need every abled warrior for this situation.”

“I’d be happy to help but I’m already on a job for the Companions and I-”

“This takes precedence! A dragon was sighted around here and I need anyone who can fight! Even a new Companion could turn the tide!”

I groaned quietly. “All right, I’m coming.” As soon as her back was turned, I refastened my belt, and followed. This was really starting to hurt though... I was just about to pee over there, and as a result, everything in my bladder was sitting right on the edge, just begging to be let loose. “Aaaaaaiiighhh, why can’t you just let me pee!?” I said under my breath.

Then we saw it. The watchtower that stood guard in this area, wrecked and burned. It wasn’t often in life that you saw stones set ablaze. This had to be the work of a dragon. The tower was wrecked. Rubble and bodies were strewn all over with the small of smoke permeating the once-fresh air.

“Why does this have to be now?” I asked myself. I bent over slightly, grabbing the crotch of my armor. This was getting excruciating! Like a fireball was growing within my bladder, steadily getting larger and larger until I couldn’t contain it... all the while burning with pain. “This had better end quickly!”

Just then, a guard emerged from the ruins of the tower. “What are you doing here!?” He shouted. “That thing is still around here! Get out of here!”

A distant, frightening roar pierced the skies. Everyone there, myself included began scanning the sky in horror. We knew what was coming, but we were all hoping we were mistaken. There was still a chance that this could be a few dark mages with a conjuration spell gone awry, couldn’t it?

“By the Eight, it’s coming back!”

No such luck. My heart sank, and fear took its place as a set of massive wings blocked out the stars. The creature grew ever closer, its size constantly growing. How big was this thing? I stepped back, then a few more steps, and I tripped over a piece of rubble, falling backwards. The dragon landed on the edge of the tower, looking down upon all of us. No one dared move.

“Dil thur fen du hin sil ko Sovngarde!” Its booming, ear-shattering voice echoed across the plains. I have no idea what it said, but I never expected a dragon to be able to speak.

“Don’t just stand there! Kill it!” the dark elf woman ordered. Each of the guards drew their bows and readied arrows. They took aim at the mighty beast, and fired. The dragon didn’t even seem fazed by the attacks. And so, I drew my own blade.

I quickly rose from my fallen position, and prepared a firebolt spell. My left hand glowed with a small flame, and as I began to charge my magic, the flame grew brighter. I cast the flame at the beast, and struck it right on the nose. It flinched, but that was it.

“Krif krin... Pruzah!” he bellowed.

Suddenly a lightning bolt struck it in the side and the dragon roared in response. That woman was a spellsword as well! Her free hand surged with bolts of energy as she readied another strike.

The dragon rose back up in the sky. Soaring with grace, it circled around our little party. The lone guard that stood near the tower... the dragon set its sights on him. As it drew closer, a massive burst of flames shot from its mouth, enveloping the man. No one even heard a scream. By the time the flames and smoke cleared, there was nothing left but a smoldering sword.

The dragon then looked at me as it flew by. Instinctively, I began to flee from my position. I took a step

Spurt!

I stopped. As soon as I had relaxed the stance of my legs, my bladder gave way. I... leaked a little into my underclothes again. Could this have been timed any worse? A dragon attacking just as I need to pee. I can’t fight like this! With my blade in one hand, and my... you know what... in the other.

The dragon began to fly towards me, it’s maw opened wide. I saw the flames forming within its jaws, and I crouched down and braced myself. The last joke of the gods, to burn me alive while needing to pee. When I get to the heavens, I had a few things to say...

Another bolt of lightning struck the creature in the face, and its breath of fire sailed right over my head. I felt the edge of the intense heat singe the top of my head. That dark elf woman saved me.

“What’s wrong with you, Companion? Get your nerves together and move!”

Easier said than done! If I moved, I was going to pee all over myself! Though... considering all options... “Get burned alive, or wet myself... I’ll take the latter.” There really was no choice was there? While I was crouched down, and the dragon was occupied with the others, I spread my legs a little, let go of myself and relaxed.

My mouth hung open in relief as I let everything go. I could feel the wet warmth spreading across my crotch, and hear the sound of liquid splattering onto the dirt below me. Dignity be damned. It felt so good, finally being able to let go. As the seconds went by, I just continued to let everything go into my underclothes. A sigh of contentment escaped my lips in the process. All that pain... just being able to relax and let it spill out onto the ground... it was pleasing beyond words.

“What are you doing!?” The woman shouted at me.

I nearly jumped. “I-I’m readying a spell!” I answered. I wasn’t done going, but I had to make it seem like I was doing something. With my free hand, I readied a new spell. An alteration magic called “oakflesh”, which created a magical armor around your body, protecting the caster from harm. Aqua-green energy pulsed around my hand as I charged the spell. There was only one problem: I was still peeing.

I didn’t want to risk looking like a coward. So I stood up... and I cringed as the last of the warm fluid began to run down the insides of my legs and into my boots. “Mara, have mercy.” I moaned. At least the ordeal was over. I sighed again, with both relief and irritation at my predicament.

With the spell charged, I cast Oakflesh upon myself. I then readied an ice spike spell. I charged the energy in my hand, and as the dragon came by for another pass, I cast the spike towards it...

The ice shard pierced the wing of the creature. It roared in agony, and its flight vector became erratic. The dragon struggled to stay airborne, but to no avail. It came crashing down into the ground, and skidding towards me! I dived to the side, just barely avoiding a collision with the beast. With my blade in hand, I got back up and ran towards the creature.

I grimaced. With each step I took, I could feel that warm fluid sloshing around in my boots. The only thing I could do was try to put it out of my mind. I jumped onto the back of the dragon, and crawled towards its head. I held on tightly, as it moved its head back and forth, side to side, in an effort to shake me off. It was worried. As I continued to make my way towards its head, my hand suddenly felt something on the back of its neck. Unlike the rest of the dragon’s hard, scaly body, this part of it was soft and fleshy. A weak point! Without so much as a moment’s hesitation, I plunged my blade into that spot. The dragon thrust its head back, roaring in pain, and throwing me off sending me crashing into the ground. It held that position for a few seconds, before finally collapsing to the ground.

“Did we do it? Did we beat it?” One of the surviving guards asked.

“I believe so.” responded the dark elf woman. She walked over to me, and then helped me up. “I’m glad you found your courage, Companion. Were it not for you, I don’t think many of us would be standing here. You may call me Irileth.”

“Thank you, Irileth.” I answered. “I apologize for my previous inaction. I... never expected to encounter a dragon in my lifetime.”

Irileth nodded. “I understand your hesitation. You wouldn’t be the first to get cold feet in the midst of a battle. Especially in a battle like this.”

Actually my feet were quite warm at the moment. And wet. But no one seemed to notice that my legs were glistening with pee. Thank the gods.

The shock really hadn’t worn off. We all just stared at the scaly corpse of the beast as it lay there. We had beat a dragon, yet none of us had any idea how. Divine intervention? Prodigal skill? Dumb luck? No one could say.

“I will tell the Jarl of your heroism here.” said Irileth. “Stop by Dragonsreach some time and I’m sure he will reward you appropriately. Let’s go, men.” With that, Irileth and the guards, began heading up to the town.

I looked at the dragon corpse again. Something didn’t feel right about it. It’s hard to really put into words, but it didn’t seem completely... dead. Probably just nerves. For right now, it would be in my best interest to get myself washed off. I can see it now. Walking into the Jarl’s hall and him instantly cringing and asking “What is that smell?”

“Oh, I peed myself, but it was necessary to slay the dragon.” Something I’d prefer not to have to explain. I walked over to the stream that was flowing from the sewer gate near Whiterun. As good a place as any to clean up. Seemed secluded enough. Behind the town where no one would really think to look. I began to remove my armor; chest piece, fauld, pauldrons, and the rest. I removed the gloves, and then the boots. Before proceeding any further, I turned the boots upside down, watching yellow liquid pour out of them. I may have to get new ones. After that, I removed my underclothes until I was wearing just my skin. I dipped my hand into the stream, and began to rinse off my legs. If there’s one piece of advice I can give you, if you ever plan on visiting Skyrim.

Don’t. Ever. Pee. In. Your. Pants.

It’s a pain. Look at me, for example. I’m sitting here, stark naked, washing my thighs off with cold-as-hell water, with a chilling breeze blowing across my body. I’m freezing here, and I’m totally miserable. I’m probably going to come down with hypothermia. I realize that it was probably acceptable, given the fact that if I hadn’t decided to go in my underclothes, I’d probably be a pile of ash right now. But still...

Once I was convinced that I had removed the smell of pee from my body, I donned my armor once again. I decided the best thing to do right now was to head back to Jorrvaskr and tell Kodlak of what occurred. I was exhausted. Between fighting that dragon and dealing with the agony of all that desperation... who wouldn’t be?

---

Kodlak, Vilkas, Aela, Skjor, and Farkas all just stared at me. Let’s see if I can match the expressions with an appropriate adjective. Astonishment, bewilderment, awe, confusion, and... derp. Yeah. The best word I can use to describe Farkas’ face is “derp”. I don’t know what else to call it. The man looks thicker than a horker’s hide.

“A dragon?” Vilkas asked. “As in, scales, wings, fire breath?”

“The one and the same.” I answered. “The corpse is out near the western watch tower, and the Whiteun guard can verify if you truly don’t believe me.”

“The Companions are based on honor and integrity.” Kodlak explained. “If I thought you were a liar, I would not have given you the chance to prove yourself. I believe you speak the truth, Karlie.”

“Thank you, Kodlak.”

“It seems our initial judgement of you was... premature.” Skjor commented. “I had heard dragons were returning to Skyrim, but I never thought a new blood would slay one.”

“So, about that bandit job...” I asked.

“I think we forego that as your initiation rite.” Kodlak laughed. “But the job is still there if you want some extra coin. Best grab it before someone else does.”

“Right now, I’d simply love to sleep.” I sighed.

“Understandable.” replied Kodlak. “Go on down and get yourself some rest. You’ve earned it.”

The first thing I did was collapse in a chair next to the fire. I grabbed a honey nut treat and began munching. After sitting out in that air naked, rubbing freezing water over myself, it felt so good to sit by the fire like this, munch on some sweets, drink some ale, and before I knew it, I was passed out where I sat...

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