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Introductions


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“Oh, I’m awake!” the mermaid exclaimed. “How…? Why…? I thought there wouldn’t be any people on this little island.”

Steve, who had been feeling ashamed of himself for taking advantage of the situation, felt a moment of confusion at the way she had reacted on seeing him. Then he heard her question, and decided to answer it and hope she didn’t ask anything more embarrassing.

“I’m camping here during my holiday,” he said. “It belongs to a friend, and he let me use it and the sailing dinghy that gets me across from the mainland.” Before she could think of asking why he’d been watching her, he added, “You’re the mermaid I saw yesterday at the beach, aren’t you?”

“Yes. And you’re the man who told me about the toilet, aren’t you?”

“That was me,” Steve agreed.

“Thank you for that. I was extremely grateful for your help.”

“You’re welcome.”

There was an awkward pause. Steve had been on the verge of asking her if she’d got to the toilet in time, but realised that would be too personal.

The mermaid sat up and curled her tail around under her, so that she was kneeling. “If you’re using the island, I’d better go,” she said. “I only came here because I thought there wouldn’t be any humans.”

She dropped down onto all-fours, and began moving towards the sea in a manner which reminded Steve of the way a sea lion walks.

He followed her, walking alongside. “Please don’t feel you must leave because of me,” he said. “I’m sorry that you don’t have the place to yourself, but there’s no reason we can’t both be here at the same time. I know it’s small, but it’s big enough for us to keep out of each other’s way, if that’s what you want.”

“I’m too scared of offending you in some way,” she said. “Especially after yesterday.”

“Why? What did I do yesterday that makes you think you offended me? You didn’t, you know.”

“It wasn’t you, it was that horrible woman in the toilets.”

“What woman? What happened?”

She stopped and resumed her kneeling posture. She sighed. “I got to the toilets, but when I went in where the females were going, I found I couldn’t use their receptacle. My anatomy is… different. So I decided to try the one where the males were going, and found their receptacle suited my needs. I was just in time, too. I got there just as I started wetting myself. So there I was, peeing happily into the male receptacle, when she came in.”

“Who? A woman, in the men’s toilets?”

“I think she was responsible for them, or something. She told me I shouldn’t be there, that it was only for men, and asked me to stop. I tried really hard to do as she asked, but…” her voice shook “…a mermaid just can’t stop once she’s peeing. I tried so hard, pressing my hand against myself to stop it, but it just went everywhere.” Her voice broke, and she was crying now. “It went all down my tail, and all over the floor. I was in time, and I was relieving myself! But she made me wet myself and make a mess all over the floor.”

Steve knelt down beside her and put a hand on her shoulder. “That wasn’t very fair of her,” he said soothingly. “But you shouldn’t get upset about it. It wasn’t your fault.”

“She even made me clean the floor afterwards!” the mermaid shouted. “All because I was trying not to offend humans by peeing on the beach!”

“Is that the way a mermaid would do it?” Steve asked.

She nodded, still crying.

“I suppose people would have found that a little gross,” he agreed. “You could have done the same as a lot of beach-goers, and gone in the sea to do it.”

She shook her head. “Mermaids can’t pee in the water. Our bodies aren’t designed to let us do that, and our instincts stop us from even trying. If I’d gone into the water, my bladder would still have felt as if it was bursting, but I wouldn’t have been able to loosen my control over it.”

“Ah,” he said. “Well, full marks for trying so hard to do right by the people on the beach, even if it didn’t turn out how you wanted.”

“I’ll have the same problem here, if you’re on the beach when I come ashore.”

Steve shook his head. “It wouldn’t bother me.”

“It’ll be pretty gross, to use your word.”

He took his hand off her shoulder, and stood up. “If you really need to be somewhere where there are no humans, I’ll understand. But don’t feel as if my presence here is forcing you to go elsewhere. You won’t offend me by behaving in the way a mermaid has to behave. If I really do find it too gross, I’ll just have to make sure I always look the other way.”

She smiled. “Is that a hint that you’ll watch me, to find out if it is gross?”

“Maybe,” he agreed, smiling back. “Does that make me sound like a perv?”

“I don’t know. What’s a perv?”

“A pervert — someone whose sexual behaviour is considered abnormal or unacceptable.”

She frowned. “How can sexual behaviour be abnormal or unacceptable? And what has that got to do with watching me pee?”

“Many people would consider it unacceptable for a man to watch a woman pee. Wanting to do so might be considered abnormal.”

“They would be offended? Is that how you think I might feel about it?”

Steve nodded.

She considered this in silence for a while, looking down at the sand. Then she looked up at him. “In that case, it took quite some courage for you to mention it. To a mermaid, there is nothing odd or abnormal about observing another excreting her wastes. We don’t have special places where we have to go to perform those functions, as you do, other than the necessity of being out of water to urinate. So no, I wouldn’t be offended by you watching me, nor would I have thought of considering it unacceptable. You may watch me urinate when I return to the beach. I won’t mention to any other humans that you’ve observed me doing so. In any case, I don’t see why other humans might consider it abnormal, since I’m a mermaid, not a woman.”

“And do mermaids have names?”

“Yes. I’m Nerissa.”

“I’m Steve.”

“Well, then, Steve, here’s what I suggest. I need to go into the sea right now. First, I have to clean the night’s pee off my tail, then I have to hunt myself something to eat. When I come ashore, I guarantee that I’m going to pee a lot. That’ll be your chance to watch me, and find out whether it’s too gross for you.”

“Okay,” he agreed, nodding. “I need to eat, too. I’ll go and fetch my breakfast, while you’re gone.”

He stood and watched as she continued her sea lion-like shuffle to the water’s edge. Then she splashed through the waves, and suddenly disappeared below the surface. He continued watching for a while, until he was sure that she’d gone on her quest. Then he turned and hurried up the beach to his tent.

It occurred to him that maybe he should take this opportunity to put some clothes on. Oddly enough, though, he hadn’t really been conscious of being naked while he was talking to Nerissa. He wasn’t sure why that was, but it may have been because she hadn’t seemed to pay any heed to it.

In the end, he decided not to dress. For one thing, it was rather pleasant to be naked in the company of someone who looked so much like an attractive woman. It also put both of them in the same situation. After all, if he was going to be looking at her naked body while they talked, it was only fair that she should be allowed to look at his.

Returning to the beach with a drink and some food, Steve sat down on the sand, facing the sea, and looked at his watch. She’d been gone nearly ten minutes, and he wondered how much longer she would be. Exactly what did a mermaid hunt, anyway, and what with? She was carrying no weapons.

*

It was nearly half an hour before Nerissa reappeared. She did so with a suddenness which startled Steve, exploding out of the surf like a torpedo, to beach herself just about at the limit of the breaking waves. The dramatic entrance continued, as she reared herself right up into a standing position, balancing with the fin at the end of her tail folded behind her, like a kind of foot. A great gush of urine jetted out, angling slightly downwards as it escaped her body, but still managing to reach almost two metres before it splashed onto the sand. It continued to gush for at least twenty seconds, by Steve’s estimate, before slowly diminishing and ending with a brief dribble down the front of her tail.

She turned slightly to her right and dropped quickly to the ground, first into a kneeling position, then onto all-fours — all-threes, in her case, Steve corrected himself. She undulated up the beach towards him, carefully skirting the wet patch. It was only now that he noticed that she had two big fishes dangling from her mouth by their tails. They looked like tuna.

When she reached him, she turned and adopted a posture which resembled a sitting position, her tail bent at its knee-like joint.

“That wasn’t in the least gross,” Steve remarked. “Although, I must admit, it was a little weird to see a female peeing like a man.”

“I guessed from your toilet arrangements that men pee like us,” she replied, taking the fish from her mouth. “How do human females pee, then? They must sit down, judging by their toilets.”

“They pee from between their legs, so it’s more convenient for them to adopt a sitting or squatting posture. If a woman had been that desperate to pee after coming out of the sea, she would have squatted; although, to be honest, she would have been much more likely to do it in the sea before coming out.”

“I told you why I can’t do that. By the way, do you mind if I eat?” she asked, holding the fish up. “It won’t offend you?”

“No, it won’t offend me,” Steve said, smiling. He held up his own box of food and bottle of water. “I’ll eat too, if that’s okay. Did you want me to cook those fish for you?”

She had already begun to tear into one of the fish with her teeth. “What does that mean?” she asked, her voice slightly muffled.

“You know: light a fire, and put them on a spit over it, to cook.”

Nerissa swallowed the mouthful, before responding, “Ah, yes, I remember an old friend of my mum telling me about that. You humans like to burn your food before eating it. No, thank you, I prefer mine unburnt.”

“We don’t quite burn it; we just use the heat to tenderise it,” he said, smiling at her doubtful expression.

They ate in silence for a few minutes.

“You were pretty desperate to pee, when you came out of the water just now,” Steve remarked. “At least, that’s what it seemed to me.”

“I was,” she agreed.

“Is it always like that?”

She nodded.

“Why’s that? Does the water stimulate your kidneys, or something?”

“It’s to do with what happens when I dive deep. My kidneys shut down, once I’m more than two mermaid-lengths from the surface, and I don’t make any urine as long as I’m below that depth. Then, when I come up, my kidneys start working again, and begin processing all the wastes that have accumulated while I was down. My bladder fills very quickly, and because I can’t relieve myself in the water, I have to get ashore in a hurry.”

“Is that the case for all mermaids?”

“Yes.”

“So how on earth did you manage not to wet yourself, yesterday? You looked desperate, and now I’ve seen what you needed to do, it must have been even worse than it looked.”

“Please don’t let’s talk about it,” she said. “I get upset whenever I remember how that woman humiliated me.”

“In that case, tell me what it was like, growing up as a mermaid.”

Nerissa smiled wistfully. “It was fun. Mum had a friend called Lunaria, and she had a daughter called Selinia, who was the same age as me. We went everywhere together, all four of us, and Selinia and I spent all our time playing together.”

“Doing what sorts of things? Chasing each other around in the sea?”

“Yes,” she said. “I suppose human children do similar things?”

“Yes, we run around chasing each other, playing hiding games, and lots of other kinds of game, too. Do mermaids have games other than chasing and hiding?”

“I only know the games that Selinia and I played. We didn’t often meet other young mermaids, so I don’t know whether they have different games. She and I used to play a kind of tickling-and-poking game.”

“What, tickling each other?”

“Yes, trying to make each other pee.”

What? That sounds an odd thing to play at!”

“I suppose it would be, to a human, given your obvious squeamishness about such things. But remember that we don’t place the same significance on a simple bodily function, and we don’t wear clothes. If a mermaid pees, the worst she’s going to do is pee on herself, and she can easily fix that just by going in the sea.”

“How old were you when you played that game?”

“Oh, about four or five years old. Past the peeing-in-the-water stage, anyway.”

Steve frowned. “Peeing in the water? I thought you just said mermaids can’t do that?”

“Past the age of about four, they can’t. Before that, they can as long as they’re close enough to the surface. In fact, before the age of three, a mermaid doesn’t have any bladder control at all. When she comes up to the surface and her kidneys start working again, she wets herself. Then, when she gets a little older, she learns to close her bladder sphincter to stop herself from wetting, but it still takes her a while before she can wait long enough to stand on her tail to pee.” Nerissa laughed. “I must have wet myself hundreds of times as I was sliding out of the sea, before I finally managed to hold it long enough to stand up.”

“It does seem odd that you start off being able to pee in the sea, and then lose that ability. Is that a cultural thing? Are mermaid parents very strict about stopping their children from peeing in the sea?”

“No, it’s a survival mechanism. Deep down, the pressure is too great for a mermaid to pass her urine. If she were to open her bladder down there, the pressure would force water into her and kill her.” She stopped suddenly and lowered her head. Steve was shocked to see tears run down her cheeks.

“What’s wrong, Nerissa?” he asked.

“Selinia died like that,” she said tearfully. “She had a genetic defect which allowed her to open her bladder deep under the water. One day, she did it, and it killed her.”

“How horrible!” Steve said. “And how awful that I’ve made you think of that.”

“It’s not your fault. You didn’t know. But it’s a graphic illustration of why most of us can’t do that. It’s why our kidneys shut down when we dive deep, and why our instincts won’t allow us to open our bladder sphincter in the water. Even our anatomy is evolved to help us avoid that danger.” She pointed at the small slit from which he had seen her urine flow. “These flaps that cover my bladder opening are shaped so that the water pressure forces them shut at depth. They also help me to maintain control when I come up to the surface. Yesterday, I was able to stop myself from peeing by pressing my fingers against them.”

“But very young mermaids can relieve themselves in the water, and they do?”

“Yes. Of course, their mums know the dangers very well, and always usher them quickly towards land. You soon learn that it’s naughty to pee in the water, and good to wait until you get on the beach. Then, soon after that, you find you can’t pee in the water any longer, and you have to go ashore.”

“But what happens if there’s a storm, and you can’t go ashore? What if you surface too far from land?”

Nerissa laughed. “Mermaids always know how far they are from land, and no one would be stupid enough to come near the surface if it was too far. We also know when it’s stormy on the surface, so we generally stay down and wait until it’s safe to get ashore. But there are occasions when we surface and then find the route to shore is inaccessible. There might be predators nearby, for example.”

“Then what? You’re desperate to pee, but you can’t.”

“A young mermaid will eventually wet herself, but it’ll get very painful before that happens. A sexually mature mermaid experiences a spontaneous orgasm.”

What?!

“I assume you watched me just before I woke up?” she asked, looking directly at him.

Steve reddened. “Yes,” he admitted, expecting her to be annoyed.

“Well, then, you saw me have an orgasm.”

He nodded, feeling ever more embarrassed. “I knew what it was. It was similar enough to a human woman’s orgasm.”

“Then you know that we pee when we have an orgasm. It’s the most enjoyable part of it, in fact. What you probably don’t know is that we prefer to mate in the sea, although we can do it ashore too. A mermaid always orgasms when she has sex, so it’s the one occasion when an adult mermaid can pee in the sea. It can only happen when she’s on the very surface, mind.”

“So if she’s caught short and unable to go ashore, her body gives her an orgasm in order to empty her bladder!” Steve interjected, feeling pleased with himself for seeing the connection.

“Yes, eventually. She has to be pretty desperate before it happens, though.”

“More desperate than you were on the beach yesterday?”

“About as desperate as I was when I got to the men’s toilets. Remember I told you I started to wet myself just as I got there? If I’d still been in the sea at that moment, I would have had an orgasm.”

“Wow! What a temptation to experiment.”

“Yes, and most of us do. It’s very dangerous, though, because you have to stay right on the surface until it happens. That means you can’t see predators coming from below. Sharks are as big a danger to mermaids as to humans.”

“I doubt that,” Steve remarked. “You can at least hope to outrun a shark; we can’t.”

“It’s also a very painful way of reaching an orgasm,” Nerissa continued, ignoring his remark. “It really hurts to let your bladder get that full. Yes, I’ve tried it, but I much prefer masturbating. I reach an orgasm more quickly, and I can choose how full my bladder is when I start.”

“Am I embarrassing you, by asking you such personal questions?” Steve asked.

“Not at all. I guessed from your reaction yesterday that I’m the first mermaid you’ve seen. It’s natural to be curious about all kinds of things.”

They had both finished their food by now. Steve looked at his watch, and then at Nerissa.

“I was intending to go to the beach where we met,” he said. “I’d better go now, else all the good spaces will be taken.”

She nodded.

“Will I see you there?” he asked.

She laughed. “After yesterday? No fear! I don’t want another run-in with that horrible woman. I’ll stay here, if that’s okay. I can come and go without having to worry about where I’m going to pee.”

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