I've definitely tried ignoring them and have outright not engaged in them with certain partners. Others, I trusted enough. For me, what's made the difference in negative feelings is in telling the people I trust about them.

Sure, they've all said they find it strange but never cruelly, more in a: 'Oh, that's odd but whatever you're into way'. That helps me to find balance with it. By accepting it will never be seen as 'normal' but the right people can think its just another kink or thing about you and not treat you any lesser for it.

So, I guess trusting the right people is what has helped me.

Yeah sometimes it does. The face that the thing that turns me on the most is humiliating for my girlfriend which can sometimes ruin my sex life/drive. 

It's definitely affected my confidence growing up, and even today I feel sense of guilt for enjoying degrading myself like I should be locked up even though I know I've not done anything wrong.

It's a lot of weird feelings that when you find someone else whose into the same thing and they're just "normal" in every other way then it takes a load off I'd your mind.

I think you are raising a very important and good question.

I only recently started realizing that I have a kink, and I'm in my 40s. The kink must have started somewhere over the last 10 years and gradually gotten stronger. 

Also for me the process of discovering the kink can be very overwhelming with all kinds of mixed emotions. Anything between shame and excitement and sometimes everything at once. 

I can only imagine how hard it must be for someone in their teenage years. My heart goes out to you.

When I first realized I had this kink, yeah, it did bum me out in it's early stages. Feeling that I was some weirdo who needed to be admitted to some insane asylum or something along those lines. But as time went on and I began thinking about it more, I realized it's really nothing to be worried about. I realized there are so many other things out there to worry over other than some harmless little kink that gets me off and doesn't affect anyone else around me. (Of course for those with lovers or partners it may vary) But I learned to accept it and love it for what it is, a harmless kink and at the end of the day, just about everyone out there has one. Some are far, far worse. So you do you and be yourself. 

This is actually my first post on this blog.  Long time lurker.  I echo the statements made by other posters here.  It's strange that my development into this "kink" as we call it developed not long after having my heart broken whilst being deployed overseas.  I definitely don't embrace it most days, and do try to detach from it in a "higher mind" sort of sense.  It is true that trauma may be associated with this, but if that's the case, then the opposite of healing is self harm, and that being said, work with it and through it.  There seems to be a community here albeit anonymous online.  With anything of the body, don't let it define who you are.  

I always thought i was the only one  

Definitely. My fetish is women pooping in their panties. It is definitely pretty outside the norm. I am not into hardcore scat though so it is less weird than it could be. I try to look at it objectively. I do love the desperation aspect of it but as discussed in another post, I am not turned on by desperation of an unwilling participant. I don't want a person to be embarrassed or humiliated in a public space or even with the confines of their own self. They have to be a willing participant whether the definition is staged or real.  I also realize that this fetish is more or less harmless especially when done in private. Plenty of people have pooped their pants, cleaned up, and moved on. Pooping is something people do on a regular basis so it isn't abnormal. Doing it in their underwear part is more on the abnormal side. But even if the willing participant does it and it doesn't do anything for them, they clean up and move on. No harm, no foul. That is what keeps it in perspective for me. Some people get bored with vanilla sex and the same old answers of bondage, a third party, or some light exhibitionism isn't enough. This kink might be worth a try for some. I remember reading a story on Toiletstool by a woman named Claire from Midwest and her having an accident on the way home from work after being constipated. She became turned on by it and then during the pandemic did it on purpose a few times. She also posted about 2 other genuine accidents after her first one (both after being constipated) and it being a huge turn on. I think about people like that and how she said she felt ashamed but my feeling is this. We all have to poop and some of us like pooping other places than toilets and that is okay because it doesn't hurt anyone. Embrace it. I still get self-conscious about it but at the end of the day, it is something that makes me unique and perhaps someday I will meet someone to share it with.  I am from the Midwest and I still live in the Midwest. Maybe I will meet Claire one day. 

I don't think my general confidence has suffered because of my kinks but sexually I know I'm less confident because of it. I think I only have halfway told a single person after it became something sexually although I never have been shy to admit that if I really love someone I basically don't mind anything that makes most people gross out, even if it is everything but my kink. For example whenever I'm with someone I'd get rid of their used tampons by bare hands with pleasure even though that even grosses me out somewhat when I love someone and i feel the opposite of satisfied by that.  

Aside from that in every relationship we do pee in the shower toghert but I've never dared to tell that I secretly get aroused by that. I get aroused by the idea of messing and wetting but I'm always afraid to open up about that. Also I still don't know 100% if I'd want to chase the dream fully. 

I did have the ptivikkege to wet or mess mysefl togtether with someone in a couple of situations which always was well for me. But Know that it's allright to have your kinks and also that it is alright to keep them a fantasy rather than reality...

I have definitely tried my absolute hardest to keep these feelings at bay for years now.  I was embarrassed by it when I discovered it, and I still am now. I think it’s only natural to be embarrassed about it. It does also impact my self-esteem. Most of me wants nothing more than to be a normal person with normal interests, and most of the people I’ve been with didn’t know. I feel like if people knew, they’d think I’m a freak. And yeah, maybe I am, but I don’t need that reinforced from an external perspective in reality. It’s a big part of my sexuality that for the most part, I have to keep hidden. Maybe that’s why I’m into the idea of being exposed without me intending to give myself away- as a release of control. 

4 hours ago, alex19 said:

I have definitely tried my absolute hardest to keep these feelings at bay for years now.  I was embarrassed by it when I discovered it, and I still am now. I think it’s only natural to be embarrassed about it. It does also impact my self-esteem. Most of me wants nothing more than to be a normal person with normal interests, and most of the people I’ve been with didn’t know. I feel like if people knew, they’d think I’m a freak. And yeah, maybe I am, but I don’t need that reinforced from an external perspective in reality. It’s a big part of my sexuality that for the most part, I have to keep hidden. Maybe that’s why I’m into the idea of being exposed without me intending to give myself away- as a release of control. 

I have told every partner I have had about my fetish and none were judgemental. They had questions. Many many questions but they never made me feel bad about it. The older I get, there seems to be even more understanding. And I think the good thing about this fetish is that it is essentially harmless; nothing a shower can't take care of anyway. There is some peace and solace in that. The function of the fetish is something everyone does. Everybody pees and poops, it is just that some us get turned on from holding it and watching others hold it. The biggest difference is pants vs toilet. I think the sense of relief is also something everyone can understand even if that relief is just using the toilet. So I think that while this fetish deviates from the norm, it isn't a deviation that is a grand departure from the norm. I also think some people have seen the memes of Tub Girl and 2 Girls 1 Cup and think that is what we like and trying to explain to people that isn't what Omo is about can be challenging. Partners who truly care may not actively participate but will indulge in some ways is what I have learned. I have had some play up some desperation. Some have shared accident stories and one even sat on the toilet with her panties on and peed. I haven't had a partner participate in desperate messing (that's the dream) but I have had one have a messing accident right in front of me and not say anything but get up and go to the bathroom and then hop in the shower. And I had a partner role play some scenarios through sexting.