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Day 28: Peeing in an Alley (Black Lagoon)


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The city of Roanapur in Thailand may have been hell on earth, but at least hell had a well-stocked liquor cabinet. The Yellow Flag was an excellent place to go for a drink, at least when a shootout wasn’t taking place. Those happened far too frequently for the owner Bao’s liking. But tonight was nice and quiet. At first, at least.

 

“Haha! That really showed those fuckers!” The loud cry was accompanied by the equally loud slam of the door being opened. Rock and Revy, two members of the Lagoon Delivery Company, strode into the bar. The two of them made an odd couple: Rock was polite yet cunning, not much of a fighter, and wore a business suit even in the tropical heat. Revy, meanwhile, was loud and abrasive, a fearsome gunslinger, and dressed in a tube top and short shorts. Despite their differences, and initial tensions, the duo had become inseparable.

 

“I take it there was another successful delivery?” Bao inquired as the two of them pulled up to the bar.

“You know it,” Revy replied. “Some wannabe gangsters hired us to deliver a shipment of guns. But once they got them, the stupid motherfuckers tried to double-cross us.”

“Not a wise choice,” Bao commented. Rock nodded.

“In the end,” he said, “we walked away with both the guns and our payment.”

“What can I say?” Revy laughed. “I can be very persuasive.”

“Mmm-hm,” Bao nodded. “What can I get for you?”

“Bacardi, and keep it coming!” Revy requested.

“Same here,” said Rock.

 

Bao poured the drinks, but before either could take a sip, the door opened again. 

“Bartender, bring me a beer! And make it snappy!” The speaker was a tall blonde man in shades and a business suit. Revy recognized him as Antonio, one of the newest criminals in town. She scowled as Bao served him. Antonio had a reputation for having an ego and a mouth far bigger than his fame. He looked at Revy appreciatively and grinned. 

“Hey, beautiful,” he called. “How about sharing a drink with me?” Revy flipped him off and turned to Bao.

“You got another Bacardi for me?” she asked.

“Bacardi?” Antonio repeated. “Isn’t that a little strong for a pretty thing like you?”

 

Revy’s temper flared. She reached for the dual pistols she had holstered at her side, but Rock shot out a hand to stop her.

“What are you doing?” she growled. “Give me one reason I shouldn’t waste this asshole.” In response, a wicked grin flashed on Rock’s face.

“Because,” he whispered, “I have a better idea for what to do with him.” He whispered his plan in Revy’s ear, and by the end she was grinning as widely as he was.

“Okay,” said Revy. “We’ll do it your way.”

 

Following Rock’s plan, Revy turned to Antonio and laughed mockingly.

“Too strong for me?” she scoffed. “As if! If anything, I’d say this stuff is too much for a pussy like you.”

“What?” yelled Antonio. “Nobody talks to me like that, you bitch!”

“Oh yeah?” Revy taunted. “How about you put your money where your mouth is? What do you say to a drinking contest? Loser pays the winner’s tab.”

“You’re on!” Antonio snarled. Bao poured out two shots of Bacardi and placed them in front of the competitors.

Perfect, thought Revy, downing the drink. All according to plan.

 

The rum kept flowing as the contest continued, and Revy began to feel tipsy. She shook her head to clear it and looked over at Antonio, who was barely sitting upright.

“Ready to call it quits?” she asked.

“N-no way!” Antonio replied. “I can do this all night!” Bao refilled their glasses, and Revy swallowed hers in a single gulp. Antonio moved to do the same, but before the glass reached his lips, he swayed and fell backwards, hitting the floor with a loud thud. 

“Well,” said Bao, “it looks like we have a winner.”

 

“Haha! Take th-that!” Revy slurred. “Rock, baby, you were right: that was way better. Hey, Bao!”

“Yeah?”

“Gimme a bottle of your most expensive wine!” she ordered. Bao complied, and Revy popped the cork, then poured the bottle all over Antonio.

“Don’t worry,” said Revy, seeing the shocked look on Bao’s face, “it’s on his tab.” The bartender laughed, and Revy stood up and stretched, taking a moment to check how she was doing after all that rum. Not great, as it turned out. Revy’s head felt very fuzzy, and her bladder was incredibly full. She looked down to see a visible bulge in her bare midriff.

“Shit,” Revy mumbled to herself, “I gotta go take a leak.” 

 

Revy stood up, a little unsteady. She was going to head to the ladies’ room, but then another idea popped into her head.

“Hey, Rock,” Revy called. “Come with me, will ya?” Rock nodded and followed her out the door. With the warm night air washing over her, Revy staggered over to the mouth of a nearby alley.

“Why did you bring me out here?” Rock asked, sounding a little nervous.

“Aw, relax,” said Revy, “it’s nothing bad. I just need you to keep watch for me, ‘cause I gotta go take the world’s biggest piss.”

“Oh. Um, okay,” said Rock. He turned around and Revy walked farther into the alley, her bladder begging for release.

 

Once Revy reached the dead end of the alley, she undid her belt and dropped her shorts and panties, grinning to herself. Toilets were fine, but there was something so freeing about peeing outdoors. This was far from her first time relieving herself in an alley. She was about to assume her usual squatting position when she noticed the graffiti adorning the wall in front of her. Revy grinned, getting another idea.

 

With her lower half still bare, Revy moved up to the wall, standing up straight. She allowed her bladder to let go, and felt a huge amount of urine snake its way through her urethra. Her pee gushed out in an uncontrolled spray with a loud hiss. Revy thrust her hips up and forward, and her stream, which had previously been flowing straight down between her legs, flew up in a sloppy arc. It hit the wall a few feet from the ground, with such force that it sent droplets of pee flying, splashing Revy’s legs. She didn’t care, though. Emptying her overfull bladder was giving her a near-orgasmic sensation of pleasure.

“Haaaah,” Revy moaned, her eyes rolling back. “Fuck yeah, that’s good…”

 

As Revy continued to relieve herself, her stream gradually lost height until eventually it started to dribble down her leg. Revy widened her stance and forced out the last of her pee. Once she was finished, Revy took a moment to admire her addition to the graffiti. A huge wet stain marked the wall, one that started as a large patch a few feet up before trailing to the ground, where a golden puddle lay. Revy grinned, satisfied at the results.

“Nice,” she said to herself. “Revy was here, bitches.”

 

Revy wiped herself dry with her hand, then got dressed.

“Rock, baby!” she called. “I’m done now, you can look!”

“I take it everything went well?” Rock asked as she walked up to him.

“You know it,” Revy replied. “That felt fucking great!” 

“Mm-hm,” was all Rock said as he smiled politely. It was partially the alcohol talking, but Revy kept going.

“I gotta do that again,” she said, throwing her arm over Rock’s shoulder. “Maybe you’d like to join me next time?”

“Wha- I-,” Rock sputtered.

“I’ll write your name for you, baby,” Revy teased. She laughed as Rock’s face turned bright right. With her arm still around him, the two of them made their way back to the boat.

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