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The thing i cant tell anyone

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Hi Understanding world.

I am struggling as i have no one to talk too about my deepest darkest diaper needs

I've been silently in this world for a long long time...  Its a world hidden from everyone in my life.  No one knows but me.

I am a 40 year old wife, mother, and business woman in  a small city so ya people would not understand.  Heck even i don't understand!  

I battle silently with my love for diapers and being helpless and small.  I put it away for a while and convenience myself it is gone only to have it return again and again... especially when i am anxious or overdone.   To top it off I am a Christian so i even battle faith vs feelings in myself... like I am not strong enough to do what is right.

I don't totally trust writing here as I wrote something once years back and some guy just wanted to talk to me for less then appropriate reasons.  Its not sexual to me, its a control and release.  Wearing diapers gives me a tiny smidgen of control over myself in a world where life just is crazy and doesn't always feel safe.  SO no... i wont post pictures or video myself.

Anyways believe it or not after almost 20 years of creating my own diapers out of towels or blankets, today i went to the store and bought some depends overnights.  They aren't babyish, but i can hide them under my clothes with ease.  So yep.  I actually bought some.  Now I am happily wearing multiple ones and they are getting quite wet. 😍🎉

I wish i didn't feel this way, but even more i just didn't want to be alone tonight.  

Thanks for hearing me out... 

Lizzy

 

 

 

 

 

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Hey Lizzy I fully understand. I have often wished for someone to join me in what I do but I am married and my wife doesn't want to do it with me. Hope you can find the right someone soon.......

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Hi. We definitely all understand and you're with friends here!

My SO has made it clear, after many hints, that she isn't into it at all and would find it odd.  So that's a shame.  

I would love to chat and hear more of your adventures

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Lizzie I feel the same way. I’m a Christian as well and have been keeping this part of my life a secret from pretty much everyone. I feel as if everyone will judge me if they find out. You are not alone and you are welcome here. 

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Guest Lestat

Posted

Hello Lizzy,

I understand your point and your feelings very well: to my perception, safety and security is something, which appears to be lacking in our world. One person may perceive this lack a bit more, someone else a bit less. There are things - I may call them "anchors", which ought to be around us, which act as some symbols, which finally provide a stonger feeling of safety and security.

These anchors depend on one's own focus and level of perception - and are individual for everybody. With you, I may see wearing diapers as such an individual anchor.

From their bare purpose, they keep the "waters" at a moment, when they may want to be flowing: safe - no waters outside; secure - nobody takes any notice. This specific safety and security may provide the one, which you would like to feel.

Well, our current local society makes a fetish out of these water things - with explicit and in my eyes mostly implicit discrediting. People may more than not understand that somebody likes to wear these special kind of garment, which again in my eyes is nothing else than lingerie. And there may not be many people around, with whom you could talk about this and all your related feelings.

As you mentioned that you are Christian: Jesus spoke about God to be Love. As a special case, I see this Love as a Moment of something from you for you: and explicitly this anchor for you. In fact, to these other people and to the one or other content of belief, that might not appear as a moment of Love. However, we may regard other things, like having a good meal or drink, having moments of fun and excitement, some life style in general, is well something, which one gives to onselve as a moment of this Love, too.

In the end, it is not of importance what these other people say or think or even do. Important is that you are you, the way you are, the way you feel and think and speak and do.

With many regards
Lestat de Lioncourt

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Dear Lizzy:

I read your post and share your feelings and the incongruity of our situation in that we enjoy something that has become very important to us in our lives, but cannot share it with our significant others.

I'm married and love my wife dearly. I would not want to be with anyone else.  I figure that if you don't share a fetish, you wouldn't understand, so I haven't shared my omorashi fetish with my wife. And, even if I told her, I'm sure she would not be comfortable indulging in it. I also panic that if those who know me, found out about my fetish they would think I was abnormal or deviant, with the consequences that this would bring.

As a Christian, I battle the guilt of indulging in a sexual pleasure that is not tied  to my married life. I suffer the guilt of being unfaithful to my wife in my thoughts, although I would never be unfaithful to her with another person.

Yet, I have learned to love and accept myself as I am. I've accepted that the fetish will be with me for the rest of my life, and there's no point in trying to get rid of it. It's there. The key is in not letting it take over my life.

Edited by pirate1954

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