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What's a Bathroom, Again?

(Note: Contains underaged wetting desperation and story spoilers up to chapter six. Reader discretion advised.)

With thanks to DerivativeWings for editing. Check out his Planet of Desperation series starting here.

Cold. Yep, definitely cold this morning. This was what was going through the mind of Finch, the bird Blade, as she walked down the cobbled streets of Theosoir. Ever the early bird, she had already gotten up and had a nice breakfast from the marketplace, and now she was enjoying a walk to stretch her legs after a good night’s sleep. She was quite thankful for her feathers keeping her warm in this chilly air; it was a shame the other townsfolk had to wear so much clothing to keep from freezing. She had no idea how anyone managed to live here in…

Finch stopped in her tracks and lifted her hands to point at her head. What was this city called again? She knew it just a second ago, it was right on the tip of her tongue. She just had to retrace her steps from today and… wait, what did she do today? She remembered waking up, that much was obvious, and her full stomach let her know that she had breakfast… but what did she eat? It tasted kinda like carrot with some kind of meat. Was that her favorite dish or something?

Finch spun in a circle both literally and mentally until a slamming door snapped her out of her endless loop. Turning her head, she found that she was no longer the only one in this part of the city. Two kids, a boy and girl, both from… Gormott, was it? In any case, they had a lot of brown fur covering their bodies, which was probably why they only wore light clothes in this frigid place, not even any shoes for that matter. More importantly, both of them looked distressed, with the boy biting his lower lip and holding his groin while the girl rubbed her knees together while rocking back and forth in place. Neither of them seemed to notice the big bird standing across the way from them.

A second later, and they both hobbled to a far wall, their backs turned to Finch. Upon reaching it, the boy fiddled with his shorts, and the girl squatted down while pulling her short shorts and underwear to her knees, her sarong hiding her bottom from view. A yellow stream flew out of each kid mere moments later, the boy’s striking the wall with the girl’s piddling along the ground, the soft noise of tinkling reaching Finch’s ears. Soon after, the boy leaned back with one arm behind his head while the girl lifted her head to sigh.

Finch recoiled in surprise, throwing her hands straight up. This was definitely not something she had expected to see this morning, and not a sight she found that pleasant, either. She had several questions in her mind, like what those kids were doing here or what led to them having to pee outside like this. Yet, as she continued to watch them relieve themselves, emphasis on “relieve” as the volume of pee leaving them stayed strong for quite some time, a nagging feeling grew in the back of her mind. She couldn’t quite place it, but it seemed like there was something she was gonna do this morning, something pent up inside her that she really wanted to let out…

“Ah!” Finch nearly jumped in the air as she remembered. The thing! The super-important news that she had to tell everybody! She was on her way back to the inn to do just that when she got sidetracked. She had to get back to Anastatia’s Inn, pronto!

Quickly turning around, Finch took off in the direction that she hoped would take her to the inn, leaving the two whizzing kids to look around in confusion. Now that she had remembered, she needed to get to her friends before she could forget the important thing again. She might have been forgetful, but she always gave one hundred percent for her allies. There was no way she was going to let them down today!

 


 

The good news was Finch reached her friends and woke them up in almost no time at all. The bad news was she could not remember the important thing by the time she got there, leaving them to sit around confused for a moment. Before she could worry about letting them down, they came up with the idea of letting the Garfont Mercenaries investigate to see if they could find the important thing themselves.

A half-hour later, and the mercs returned with the most awful news: a group of soldiers in Theoscaldia Palace were planning an uprising to overthrow King Eulogimenos! The party wasted no time in heading straight to the palace, passing through its entrance mere minutes later.

Entering into the Hall of Virtue, the team was soon greeted with the sight of Tantalese soldiers with drawn weapons and loud voices. Somewhere further down the hall, they could hear the sounds of scraping metal and commands being yelled out.

“This is… It looks like…” said Rex.

“The rumors were true,” said Prince Zeke of Tantal.

“Your Highness! You’re back!” Two soldiers ran up to the party, neither of them brandishing a weapon.

“There’s been an uprising and everything’s gone crazy!” said the second guard.

“It’s too much for us to handle by ourselves, Highness. Might we count on your aid?”

“Of course!” Zeke put a hand on his hip in a pose of confidence. “Maybe this is what Finch was talking about back at the inn,” he then surmised.

“Wait,” said Finch, “Maybe I remember what it was now.”

Flapping her arms, Finch exercised her power of recall once more in an attempt to be completely certain. She racked her mind as hard as she could, but alas, the memory continued to elude her. Finch scoffed in frustration, but then she supposed it was not all her fault. With all the excitement going on, how was anyone supposed to remember anything?

It also did not help that there was something else to distract her now. Along the way, Finch had become aware of some kind of… pressure growing inside her, right below her abdomen. It wasn’t painful, but it was really uncomfortable regardless. If she didn’t know any better, it felt a lot like she needed to-

“Finch! Are you joining us or not?”

Nia’s yell pulled Finch’s attention off her body. Looking ahead, she saw that her friends had already moved forward, mere moments from confronting the first of the rebel soldiers.

“Er, right! On my way!” Putting one hand on her helmet, Finch ran straight up to the party, settling in behind Nia and putting on her serious expression. “Okay, Nanna! I’m ready to support my trusty Driver as always!”

Nia turned to her with her best “you can’t be serious” face. “It’s Nia, and I’m not your Driver.”

“You aren’t?” said a taken-aback Finch. “But then who…”

“To me, Finch!” yelled Mòrag, who brandished the shield hammer that came with Finch’s summoning.

“Oh, that’s right! Maggie’s my Driver,” said Finch while she moved to cover Mòrag’s back.

“My name is…” Mòrag started, but shook her head. “No matter, they’re moving towards us. Prepare to engage the enemy!”

“Aye aye, captain!” said Finch, “Hee hee, always wanted to say that.”

The fight broke out immediately after, with the halls becoming filled with shouting, weapons clashing together, and all sorts of ether arts firing off. Having clashed with Tantal’s guards before, Rex and his team were well aware of their prowess in battle, and the rebels were just as well-trained as the rest.

The party had their work cut out for them in this fight, and Finch was no exception. While she did not do a lot of the fighting herself, it was her duty as a Blade to empower her Driver with ether energy. Channeling the kind of energy needed for big battles like this was exhausting work, especially when Mòrag needed to do a super-powerful attack or if Finch had to charge the ether barrier around her to block an attack.

As the fight dragged on, Finch felt the fatigue getting to her. Muscles ached, her breathing grew labored, and that strange pressure only got worse, like something was going to spill out of her if she let her guard down. But there was no time to worry about that, not when her friends and especially her Driver were in danger. She would keep giving it her all until everyone was safe, because that was what a dependable Blade would do.

It took a while, but the rebels fell one after another, and the party was heading down the corridor that led to the palace’s sacred chamber. None ran quicker than Finch, who understood more than anyone that they needed to hurry. If they didn’t finish their business here soon, then… well, something bad would happen, she was sure of that much.

“Finch, slow down,” ordered Mòrag.

Finch stopped in her tracks and turned around to face the group. “But we gotta hurry and beat up those bad guys for… whatever they’re gonna do!” she replied, all the while bouncing on her hard, sharp feet.

“I understand, but we must move in and fight as a group,” said Mòrag, “And you are meant to stay behind me as my Blade, regardless.”

“Oh, right, almost forgot that part.” Finch rubbed the back of her head as she got back into position. “Onwards, friends!”

Nobody needed the command, for they were already headed toward the end of the corridor and into the Hall of Honor. The walls opened up to reveal more rebel soldiers, the most they had encountered thus far. Finch took a moment to swallow her throat while she fidgeted behind the group. There were a lot more enemies than she expected; would she have the strength to carry on through the whole fight, especially with the cramping in her legs and groin getting worse?

“Finch, your ether, please!”

Just as quickly as they came up, the worries disappeared from Finch’s mind. Of course she would get through this. She had to, if not for herself, then for her dear Driver, whoever she was.

“Coming right up!” Finch put her hands out and began channeling ether without wasting another moment. Her powers entered the hammer at just the right time, allowing Mòrag to deliver a charged blow to the head of an attacking guard.

There was no time to celebrate, as another guard was already raising his spear to strike. Finch pumped an extra bit of ether to form around Mòrag, creating a barrier that the spear bounced straight off. Mòrag pulled from the remaining ether to deliver a blunt strike that knocked the rebel to the ground, then followed up with a mighty downward smack. Raising the hammer back up, both Driver and Blade found the remaining guards surrounding them, all preparing to attack.

It wasn’t more than a few seconds into the fight, and the strain hit Finch again. She could feel a bit of sweat forming underneath her feathers while her muscles burned from fatigue. Still, she would never give up, especially not in the middle of such an important fight.

Finch remained steadfast in her resolve, even if her body was not fully cooperating with her. Her movement had become sluggish, seeing as her legs really did not want to separate from each other for some reason. Come to think of it, she only had one hand out to channel ether; the other one had found its way between her legs, pressing tightly against her groin. She had to wonder what the deal was with that, as that would normally only happen when-

“Finch, focus!”

“Huh, what?” That’s right, the very important fight was still going on. Finch spread her legs apart and pulled her hand away despite her body’s protest. “Alright, what are you orders, sir?” she asked

“It is time we ended this. Execute our perfect storm attack at once!”

“W-which one was…” Finch started, but then her eyes lit up before she finished. “Oh right, I know that move, I think!”

Finch did not have to rethink, for Mòrag had already begun the attack. First, she slammed the hammer down, creating a force of wind that pushed the remaining rebels back, then threw the hammer up and behind her. Finch caught it out of the air, then started spinning in place, getting the hammer up to a fast, dangerous speed and creating a tornado around her.

“Youuuu allll asked for thiiiisss!” yelled Finch as she hit her full speed. “Perrrfeeeect stooorrr-whoa!”

Once more, Finch had forgotten of how difficult it was to keep her balance at full spin, and the hammer flying out of her hands served as a good reminder of such. She fell on her bottom while the hammer flew in the direction of the enemies. As it struck the ground, the ether contained within exploded out, striking all the rebels with the same power as a concussion grenade. Some flew back and slammed into the walls, others hit and tumbled along the ground, but not a single one could get back up and continue the fight. Just like that, the rebellion had been defeated, though it took a moment for it to sink in for the group.

“Well, that’s one way to win a fight, I guess,” said Rex, lowering his sword after using it to brace himself from the blast.

“Woo! Talk about a workout!” said Finch as she rose to her feet, putting a hand on her head to steady her spinning eyes and swirling body. “Um, was that the last of them?”

“Most likely,” said Zeke, “We took care of the rear guard, and the doors to the Hall of Mystery remain sealed. The guards should be able to handle any stragglers from here.”

“No more enemies?” Finch smiled. “That’s a relief.” Closing her eyes, she allowed herself to let the adrenaline from fighting come down and put her at ease. Helping out her friends any way she could was what she lived for, and knowing that she had succeeded without any major screwups this time felt just as nice.

More than nice, actually. As her muscles relaxed, Finch felt a nice tingling sensation spread through her, and that pesky pressure that kept her so wound up seemed to be going away. She openly sighed at this relieving feeling that somehow felt familiar, though she couldn’t quite place it at the moment. Oh well, if it felt that good, it couldn’t be something bad, right?

“Um, Finch?”

“Hmm?” Finch opened her eyes to Rex’s voice. Rather than a bunch of happy friends, everyone looked right at her with frowns, some with wide eyes and open mouths.

“What’s with all the weird faces, everybody?” she asked.

“Did you… forget to do something this morning?” asked Rex.

“Well, I had breakfast and told you all about the super-important thing,” she replied.

“And I thought I’d seen the worst of this bit back in Argentum,” said a facepalming Zeke.

“Poppi never see someone so casual with this type of bodily function before,” said Poppi.

Finch tilted her head. “Huh? Boda-what now?”

“Oh, for the love of…” Nia grumbled and stomped her foot. “Finch, you’re pissing yourself!”

“Whaaaaat!?” That was all it took for her to become aware of the sound of splattering water beneath her along with the feeling of liquids leaving her body. Finch threw her arms out and looked straight down, her eyes wide open in horror.

It turned out that “pissing herself” was not entirely accurate. Much of her urine left her through a golden stream that came down and slightly forward from between the feathers at her groin. It broke up into a light drizzle before striking the ground, making it sound as if someone turned on a hose halfway and aimed it at the stone floor. An impressive puddle had already formed by the time she looked down, nearly reaching the inner edges of her feet. Despite the volume of pee coming out this way, Finch could still feel a bit running down her legs, adding a gross, damp feeling to her feathers and talons.

“Oh… Ohmigosh!” Finch gasped, pressing her legs together from the knees up and cramming her hands between them. The red dots on her cheeks grew to spread across her lower face. “I-I totally forgot! I was gonna go e-earlier, b-but then the th-thing, and, and then we had to fight and I… I…”

Finch trailed off as she kept darting her head between all her friends. She was never going to say anything to make this look any better, and she knew it. Down below, her efforts to stop her sprung leak were just as hopeless. All she managed to achieve was getting her hands soaked and making more of it go down her legs, creating a visible matting in her feathers and shine on her pigeon-toed feet.

All there was left to do was accept her accident. Letting her hands fall to the sides and relaxing her stance, Finch stared with teary eyes at the last of her pee tapering off into a set of mere drips. “Oh man, I’ve r-really done it now,” she bawled.

“Hey, hey, Finch, it’s okay!” said Rex, raising his hands. “Accidents can happen to anyone. We’re not upset or gonna judge you for this.”

“Rex is right,” said Nia, “This is one thing that I can’t really get onto you about.”

“Really now?” Zeke turned to Nia with a raised eyebrow. “And why would that be?”

“None of your business, Shellhead,” said Nia, crossing her arms and giving him a dirty look.

“B-but it’s not okay! I, I didn’t just have an accident, I c-completely forgot I had to go in the first place!” Finch paused for a couple sobs, letting a few tears fall onto the floor to join the puddle of her other bodily fluid. “H-how am I supposed to be a good Blade if I mess up something like this?”

“Finch.” Mòrag’s voice cut through the air as she stepped towards her. Finch did not dare look up at the tall, rigid Driver she had no doubt failed.

“I… I’m so sorry, M-Morty,” she sobbed. “I might be the worst Blade ever.”

“I must disagree with you on that.”

“Huh?” Finch looked up in confusion and found Mòrag looking at her, not in anger but with her normal, neutral expression with hands behind her back.

“Do not mistake my words. This restroom break of yours is not acceptable behavior, especially not for a Blade belonging to a high-ranking official,” said Mòrag.

“I… I know.” Finch lowered her head, expecting the next words to be about letting her go from her bond with Mòrag.

“With that said, it does not undo all the good work you have done today.”

“It… doesn’t?”

Mòrag nodded and crouched down to Finch’s eye level. “You alerted us to a disturbance, giving us the chance to act on it before the worst could come of it. Not only that, but you remained just as dependable in battle today as you always have. Aside from this moment, you have done a fine job today.”

“She’s right, you know,” said Zeke, “If anyone has let us down today, it’s that useless old man of mine. I’ll be giving him a piece of my mind about this mess once we’re done here, that’s for sure… but I digress,” he quickly added once he saw the looks Nia and Mòrag were giving him.

Meanwhile, Finch felt her Driver’s words  sink in. She wasn’t a burden even after this? Maybe there was hope for her yet. “Um, th-thank you, Mandy.” Finch wiped the tears from her eyes with her arm.

“My name…” Mòrag started, but shook her head, “Is not important right now. Do you feel better now?”

“A little bit, but I still feel really embarrassed. Gross, too.”

“That is to be expected, I suppose.” Mòrag paused to steel herself before continuing. “But know this. It was not long ago that I found myself in an incident not unlike this, feeling the way you do now.”

“R-really?” asked Finch, her eyes growing wide in wonder and bewilderment.

“I speak naut but the truth. I believed I would never recover from such a fall, but given time and encouraging words, I eventually picked myself back up and carried on. I am certain you will be able to as well.”

“Y-You think so?” Finch allowed a little smile to break through. “Then I’ll try to be a better Blade for you, Mona!”

“My name is M-oh!” Mòrag never got to finish her correction, for she soon felt a pair of feathery arms and hard, wet hands squeezing her into a hug.

“I won’t do something like this again, I promise!” said Finch, her voice muffled in  Mòrag’s uniform.

“Er, that is all well and good,” said Mòrag while trying to pull the wet bird off her. “But I request that you postpone this hug until you are made decent again.”

Finch’s eyes snapped open as she realized she was getting more liquids than her tears on her Driver. “Ah, whoops!” She broke away from the hug and frowned at herself. “I’d really like to be clean now, but how am I gonna do that here?”

“I might be able to help with that.” Pyra stepped forward and held out a hand, a soft flame growing out of the palm. “I can at least dry you off until you can take a bath.”

“Are you sure that’s safe, Pyra?” asked Nia.

“I’m very careful with my flames. I promise it won’t hurt, Finch.”

“Um, if you say so,” said Finch, stepping out of her puddle at last.

“And while that is going on, the rest of us should get to work restraining and questioning the rebels,” said

Silence followed as the group went about their tasks. While Pyra kneeled down and dried Finch’s legs, all the bird could do was watch her friends doing the work without her help. Even after Mòrag’s kind words, Finch couldn’t help but start feeling a little useless and embarrassed again.

“How’s that feel? Any better now?” asked Pyra, withdrawing her flame.

Finch looked down at her legs. While her feathers and talons still had that lingering gross feeling, it still felt a lot better than before Pyra’s handiwork. Not just that, but no one would be able to tell that she had wet herself without taking a long, close look and a couple sniffs.

“Y-yeah, better now,” Finch replied with a frown.

“It’ll be okay. I’m sure you’ll be back to your happy self before too long.”

Finch shook her head. “I don’t know, Penny. I think it’s gonna be a long time before I can get over this.”

With that, Finch turned and walked away from Pyra, hanging her head low. However, she only managed a few steps before coming to a stop and staring straight ahead, her expression completely blank for several seconds.

“Um, are you alright, Finch?” asked Pyra.

Finch turned around with a raised eyebrow. “Sure, why wouldn’t I be?”

Pyra could only stare in silence at Finch’s newfound nonchalance. The same could be said for Nia, who was done restraining the unconscious troops and had walked back towards Pyra at that moment. “Don’t tell me…” she started to say.

Just then, Finch sniffed the air a few times and turned towards Brighid while she held out a flame to evaporate the puddle. “Whoa!” she recoiled in surprise. “Did someone pee over there?”

The entire party stopped what they were doing and turned towards her, most of them sporting the same expressions from when they saw her wetting herself.

Unaware of this, Finch sniffed a couple more times, then looked down and lifted her foot. “Wait, did I step in it? Aw, gross! Whoever did this owes me an apology!”

Much of the party could only stare and blink at first. “I suppose she’s back to normal now,” commented Zeke.

“I don’t think there is such a thing as normal with her,” said Nia.

“Tora wish he could forget embarrassing moments so easily,” lamented Tora.

“It would seem you were correct with your assessment, Rex,” said Mòrag, a hand to her chin.

“What do you mean?” asked Rex.

“There is rarely a dull moment with someone as peculiar as Finch.”



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