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The thing i cant tell anyone

Hi Understanding world. I am struggling as i have no one to talk too about my deepest darkest diaper needs I've been silently in this world for a long long time...  Its a world hidden from everyone in my life.  No one knows but me. I am a 40 year old wife, mother, and business woman in  a small city so ya people would not understand.  Heck even i don't understand!   I battle silently with my love for diapers and being helpless and small.  I put it away for a while and convenience myself it is gone only to have it return again and again... especially when i am anxious or overdone.   To top it off I am a Christian so i even battle faith vs feelings in myself... like I am not strong enough to do what is right. I don't totally trust writing here as I wrote something once years back and some guy just wanted to talk to me for less then appropriate reasons.  Its not sexual to me, its a control and release.  Wearing diapers gives me a tiny smidgen of control over myself in a world where life just is crazy and doesn't always feel safe.  SO no... i wont post pictures or video myself. Anyways believe it or not after almost 20 years of creating my own diapers out of towels or blankets, today i went to the store and bought some depends overnights.  They aren't babyish, but i can hide them under my clothes with ease.  So yep.  I actually bought some.  Now I am happily wearing multiple ones and they are getting quite wet. 😍🎉 I wish i didn't feel this way, but even more i just didn't want to be alone tonight.   Thanks for hearing me out...  Lizzy          

lillyz

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